At a wet housing complex in downtown Seattle last Saturday, April 13, three "very intoxicated" men watching a Clint Eastwood movie were interrupted by a fourth "extremely intoxicated" man who insisted on changing the channel, according to a police report. A fight ensued, resulting in much spilled beer.

The "wet housing" complex is so named because it helps formerly homeless chronic alcoholics fight their addictions with the aid of social services, a bed, and roof overhead.

Staff kicked out a man with "impaired speech, balance and coordination" from the dining area around 7:30 p.m. for causing disturbances, reports Officer Christopher Myers. The man made his way to the TV room, where he tried to change the channel from a Clint Eastwood flick. When the movie's three viewers objected, the suspect allegedly grabbed one of Clint Eastwood-watchers "with both hands and applied pressure to strangle him," the report states.

The report fails to note which Clint Eastwood movie the suspect objected to—if we're talking about Trouble With the Curve, dude may have been justified.

The men grappled for a bit until the suspect "paused to put on both of his slippers, then without warning punched [the man] again in the face."

Possibly inspired by one of Eastwood's spaghetti western heroics, the victim "was able to overpower and pin [the assailant] into a gap between furniture," the report explains, until staff arrived and broke the fight up. "The room had broken glassware, spilled beer, and disturbed furniture," Officer Myers reports, and one combatant "had beer spilled down the front of his pants."

The suspect was arrested for investigation of assault. The victim declined treatment from Seattle Fire for strangulation, and a surveillance DVD which captured part of the fight was placed into evidence.

Drunks everywhere would do well to follow this piece of advice from the esteemed Republican/libertarian actor and director himself: "Leave everybody alone. Let everybody else do what they want. Just stay out of everybody else's hair."