Hire a prostitute?

When I found my way into performing, it wasn't exactly my choice: a married bi-guy I was fooling around with brought a mostly-lesbian girlfriend to my apartment unannounced. I was put off initially, but I'm a born performer, and some very interesting things came up unexpectedly.

Not specifically germane to the LW's situation, but why not throw that out there?

How about the next time you're having brunch/antiquing with your mother, whip out your willie and slap it silly. She'll be fully clothed in her lovely gingham dress and flower hat-- and you can add the string of pearls.

@3: Thanks for thoroughly creeping up my afternoon .

As a "lesbian" I can say that the letter writer is the man of my dreams.........

Heck, I'd love to watch that. If he and his boyfriend want to fly out here, I'll volunteer to watch. Could be fun.

@7

You haven't seen the gay porn I have, apparently.

WHY, oh WHY DO I LIVE IN ANOTHER STATE AND WHERE,
oh WHERE IS MY TIME MACHINE? *le sigh*

I am a straight (happily married) woman, and men masturbating is my porn of choice.

@ What is a "lesbian," and how is it different from a lesbian?

Come to Seattle, I'm happy to watch.

Hello! What intertubes did he post to? Where are these sites? If he is not too tall, decently athletic, gymnast body a plus, with attractively placed body hair, I'd love to watch him fuck the hell outta my lover. (Yes, I'm superficial that way.)

Haven't you seen The Kids Are All Right? Julianne Moore's character explains it to her son beautifully... or at least one reason.

Jesus christ, wasn't "straight women who are interested in gay men having sex" the entire reason slash fanfic was created? Starting with Kirk/Spock?

@16: Yes.

While I commend the assembled mesdames on their taste, I hope it will remain this side of appropriation. Tip: you don't want to emulate straight men ogling lesbians.

With a smile and a sense of humour, sure, but a PERK? Anyone who asked nicely would be welcome to go try out such an encounter with my blessing. Anyone who requested my participation and presented it as a PERK would require a year and a half to thaw out from the ice in my voice as I declined the invitation.

Those who have read Putting on the Ritz may recall the confrontation in which Boyd Larkin twists Peter Champion's tail by pretending that he intends to publish in his magazine a tape of a little encounter in which Peter is being spanked by his sister-in-law Kitty Driscoll as they portray a Saucy Shepherd and Aphrodite. Claire Simmons then reveals to the assembled company that, as Boyd's magazine is of high quality, he can't possibly publish the details of a tawdry affair that would be just the sort of thing people read all the time in Peter's newer and more popular magazine. Boyd would be emulating Peter. As Boyd couldn't publish and Peter couldn't sue without disaster for both, Claire proposes a draw, which Peter (who will be spared a divorce and likely criminal charges following his wife's revelations) takes as a win. Hence the following Keenansplaining:

["Well," he said, "I just want you to know I think you're one bright young gal - just the sort I'd like to have working for me. I could offer you a very attractive position at my magazine."

Claire stared at him. "No, thank you," she said, and she couldn't have done a better job if she'd been packing a lorgnette.]

Now that I think of it, I really must acquire a lorgnette.

dang, i just noticed this was a reprint. well, LW, if you're still out there, check the casual encounters section on CL.

@7 gnot has it.

I hate watching most porn with women in it.* They moan a lot but they never come, and it’s not surprising they don’t come because most of what’s being done to them isn’t very fun. Choking on dicks? Long stabby fingernails stabbing pussies? Eek! Not a turn-on!

Also they have no agency, in the sense that nothing they do makes sense except as something a guy who doesn’t care about women would like a woman to do.

Generally, identifying with them is no fun at all.

Gay porn on the other hand does not contain any women being abused or denied agency. It’s satisfying to see guys being fucked for a change. I can identify with whoever I want.

*Exception for DP.

Two gay men having sex are both going to be obviously enjoying themselves. You can see it in their faces, their actions, their noises, etc. On the other hand, it is very, VERY obvious when the woman/women in the porn are not enjoying themselves. This makes gay male porn much more appealing, to me at least.

@21 and 22, for the explanatory win. We get off on the enthusiasm and enjoyment of the people in the videos. I thought most people were like this.

Oh my god, I very much want to watch two dudes getting it on. I'm bi, so I don't know if I'm more like a lesbian or more like a straight girl in this respect.

QUOTE: We have an "open-enough" relationship that allows for some exploration of our sexuality with other people UNQUOTE

Why do they always call it "exploring...blah, blah, blah" when they mean having sex with someone - not their SO? It makes me want to nominate this shit for Andrew Sullivan's Poseur Award – awarded for passages of prose that stand out for pretension, vanity and really bad writing designed to look like profundity.

Gag.

Although watching porn is not high on my list of to-do things, I don't mind watching gay porn. It often seems like the enjoyment is shared. Perhaps because, as a female, I don't pick the male signals of faking it ?

Straight porn I can't watch for more than 5 seconds without wanting to turn away. Why watch slabs of meat bumping ? It's pretty obvious to me that the women there are bored out of their minds. There's nothing arousing in that.

In theory, I'd like to watch two guys having sex - and I'm straight. But in real life ? Voyeurism is not my thing, so I don't know if sex happening in front of me would feel like a lovely turn on or a creepy turn off.

I think sissoucat has it @26 when she says "Perhaps because, as a female, I don't pick the male signals of faking it ? " vs those that think gay porn is much more enthusiastic and people are enjoying themselves more. Many of the men in gay porn are heterosexual, and take viagra to get/stay hard.

okay, I have to ask--when the writer says "fully-clothed" does he mean fully clothed in typical lesbian wear like jeans and flannel shirts, or is part of the fantasy that the fully-clothed woman is wearing ultra-femme clothes like heels, stockings and a pretty dress? If the latter, his kink might be a bit more complicated than he thinks.

@26 - some of my enjoyment of gay porn might be that I'm not picking up on the "faking," but the clips that my (mostly straight) girlfriends and I share amongst ourselves are the ones where there is real affection as well as enjoyment being shown. I have never, ever seen a straight porno where both participants were attractive AND seemed affectionate towards each other AND were enjoying themselves while fucking. I don't even thing I've seen one with 2 of the 3. Plus gay porn actors are exponentially better looking than the straight porn actors. Call me shallow, but hot guy(s) fucking and having a good time is awesome to watch no matter who is on the other end of the dick. (which, now that I think about it, may explain the pretty women and ugly guys in straight porn)

What lesbians are into this? Is this a butch thing? - A Lesbian Who Would Literally Break Her Own Arm To Avoid Being In This Situation.

I'm a straight chick and I like gay porn. Not so much the jacking off [boring], but two dudes going at it? Hell yeah!

I'm a straight woman and the only porn that has ever really done anything for me is gay porn. I wouldn't answer an ad like the writer's though, because I would just get super horny and go home unsatisfied. That's a bummer.

@HCIM, midwestkittie does, in fact, live in the Midwest and is overdue for a trip to the Twin Cities. If your and your man are relatively attractive and nice midwestkittie is more than willing to help you out. Cuz Midwesterners just want to help.

sissoucat @26: Gay porn has its share of bored/stressed deadfucking and it is just as off-putting as the straight porn you've seen. Interestingly though, it does not cleanly delineate into gay-for-pay = awkward performance; some of the straight men in gay porn are among the most enthusiastic.

lolorhone @34 I'll defer to your superior knowledge of porn. The existence of a gay-for-pay market is a strong indicator in favour of your observation.

Webcam.

@29: Try (actual, user-uploaded) amateur porn. Not everyone's going to be model-hot, but with some sorting, you can find basically what you describe. As for ugly (or not super-hot) dudes in straight porn, it's a combination of a couple things. First, straight dudes are (generally speaking) all about the dick (it's a deeply-ingrained cultural symbol of masculine identity and power), and as straight dudes are the main target audience for straight porn, big dicks tend to be the primary (and perhaps sole) selection criterion for male porn actors. The secondary reason is that straight guys who are fantasizing by projecting themselves into the position of the male actor may find that a more easily-accessible headspace when the actor isn't totally gorgeous. A super-hot man might prompt the viewer to (unfavorably) compare his body or kill the fantasy that he could actually get with the female actor, so at least some physical imperfection is going to be broadly preferable. I'm talking about general tends, of course - none of this necessarily holds up for ALL straight porn (and I've seen plenty with ripped and otherwise normatively-super-hot male actors), as there's probably more than one could ever consume with dozens of continuous lifetimes of viewing it at this point.

Mr Rhone - Could someone please put "gay for pay" on the Kill It With Fire list? That phrase gives me a MAJOR LMB.

Well, shit, Mr. Ven, I didn't invent the term.

DUDE. I'm a clothed female in Minneapolis and that sounds awesome! Message me?

Oh crap, this is old. Damnit.

Straight gal here. It's the world's oldest cliché that straight guys are into two women, right? In part because, being into women's lady bits, they get twice as many bits to ogle/watch rub together, etc.

Hence I never understood anyone's surprise that straight women might feel the same way about two guys. For me, this is fantasy numero uno.

Never heard of lesbians wanting to watch two guys, however, and unclear as to why that might be, BUT I have the feeling absolutely anybody of any persuasion would be open to watching Dan and Terry ...

Mr Rhone - It's a good job you didn't.