Omigod, omigod, it's here! Super Bowl Sunday! Seahawks! Lombardi Trophy Fever! And since Slog has been your number one source for Super Bowl coverage for almost half a century, you'll want to check back here throughout the game to vent your frustration, celebrate the triumphs, and read our expert sports analysis.

3:10 PM: America the Beautiful! Sung by a queen? That's not our national anthem! What the fuck?

3:17 PM: As my ex-in-laws loudly cheered to the sight of the Seahawks running out onto the field, my daughter leaned over and whispered in my ear "Go Eagles." I love you Katie!

3:26 PM: And in case you're a little ticked that at The Stranger for assigning an Eagle's fan to live Slog the Seahawks' Super Bowl, well, it could've been worse:

Football fans get really touchy when you condemn their whole way of life.
— Dave Segal (@editaurus) February 2, 2014

3:33 PM: Wow. All I can say is wow. A safety off the opening snap. Can't ask for a better start to the game. Two points for the 12th man, even in New Jersey.

3:42 PM: First he destroys marriage, now football. Why does Dan hate America?

Sending good luck vibes to my #SeahawksBoyfriend, Steve Hauschka! #SuperBowl pic.twitter.com/m5iBUpq2P3
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) February 2, 2014

3:46 PM: Field goal! Dan's boyfriend comes through! 5-0, Seahawks!

4:07: Dan's boyfriend kicks another field goal! I guess 8-0 is a great start for the Seahawks, but considering events, they gotta be disappointed that they didn't come out of those drives with more points. Seahawks are dominating, sure, but they better score some touchdowns.

4:12 PM: Interception Seahawks! Not sure I've seen such a lopsided start to a Super Bowl.

4:16 PM: End of first quarter: Seahawks 8, Broncos 0, with the Seahawks driving after an interception. But the rest of the stats are tremendously more lopsided: 148-11 in total yards, 11:41 to 3:19 in time of possession.

4:23 PM: Touchdown Seahawks, and people are setting off fireworks in Bothell. (Or assault rifles. It's that kinda neighborhood.) 15-0 Seahawks.

4:31 PM: In case you're ready to switch the channel from this one-sided game, Cash Cab is on KOMO-4, Northwest Backroads is on KING-5, and Pets TV is on KIRO-7. So you've got choices.

4:33 PM: I share your joy, Dan.

The team that happens to be located in the city I happened to relocate to 20 yrs ago for non-football-related reasons is ahead! #SuperBowl
— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) February 3, 2014

4:38 PM: Pick six! 22-0 Seahawks. Not having an emotional stake in this game, I have to say that it's getting kinda boring.

4:41 PM: America is sad. Fuck America.

America is rooting for the #Broncos. #SB48 https://t.co/7JzwM7WfZ5 pic.twitter.com/Pe5Uu6KAYX
— Bill Murphy (@billmurphy) February 3, 2014

4:58 PM: Yes, it was a pretty dominant first half for the Seahawks, 22-0. But keep in mind that their offense has only scored 1 touchdown. So as an Eagles fan, long accustomed to disappointment, I've just got to warn that this game isn't over.

5:02 PM: Kelly O's halftime recommendation:

This is what you do at halftime, instead of watching those lukewarm green peppers play pic.twitter.com/F73MCgxasG
— Kelly O (@drunkoftheweek) February 3, 2014

5:29 PM: An ex-in-law took my ex-mother-in-law to Holy Mass last night. He says he's never seen so many Seahawks-clad Catholics praying against the Denver Broncos. Looks like it's working!

5:31 PM: Percy Harvin just earned his paycheck. Kickoff return for a touchdown to open the second half. 29-0 Seahawks.

5:40 PM: Remember, Seahawks fans, empathy is what makes us human:

HIS TEARS NOURISH MY BLACK HEART RT @tannercurtis: Saddest photo of the #SuperBowl just moved from @gettyimages pic.twitter.com/LoalKKaAa5
— Rock Strongo (@bighatfunny) February 3, 2014

5:47 PM: So, how was the half time show? I missed it because I was watching Pastor Mark Driscoll's Resurgence Halftime Show instead.

5:52 PM: If you're bored, over on PBS Creates, America's Test Kitchen is showing you how to make a great carrot layer cake.

5:57 PM: YATO

5:59 PM: Honda commercial fail:

Dear Bruce Willis, I am watching the game alone. Thanks for making me feel like crap. #SuperBowl
— Baratunde (@baratunde) February 3, 2014

6:02 PM: Broncos forget how to tackle. 35-0 Seahawks. Meanwhile over on KWPX, Monk emotionally shaken after an earthquake strikes the city.

6:08 PM: I couldn't have said it better myself:

I'm not really into the Seahawks, but I'm very happy for @PaulGAllen. He really needed this. #SuperBowl
— David Goldstein (@GoldyHA) February 3, 2014

6:11 PM: Bronco's touchdown: 36-8 after the the two-point conversion. I'm smelling comeback.

6:13 PM: From Stranger NFL analyst Charles Mudede:

The Seahawks consulted a witch doctor. All of my African brothers and sisters know what I'm saying.
— Charles Mudede (@mudede) February 3, 2014

6:26 PM: Another touchdown. Seahawks 43, Broncos 8. Coming up next on A Chef's Life on PBS Creates: "Chef Vivian Howard and her husband go to Maple View Dairy and discuss buttermilk with the dairy's manager, then the couple tries to shoot their twins' Christmas card picture, and later Vivian's nieces and nephews attempt to make buttermilk."

6:34 PM: Too soon?

this is a rough day for all Phillip Seymour Hoffman fans from Denver. #toosoon #SuperBowl
— Loren Tarquinio (@LorenTarquinio) February 3, 2014

6:39 PM: Actually, other than on the scoreboard, the Broncos are still in this game:

Manning has #SuperBowl record for completions, 33. Also is most meaningless record in SuperBowl history.
— Art Thiel (@Art_Thiel) February 3, 2014

6:56 PM: Seahawks win the Super Bowl, 43-8!

Thanks Seahawks! Off to loot those shoes I've had my eye on....
— David Schmader (@davidschmader) February 3, 2014

7:05 PM: And on to the post-game open thread!