Also, sometimes things run through your head when you're having sex. Sometimes random things, especially stressful things. If there's something she had pressing, she blew your mind but the alternative of her stopping the ramp up until work was taken care of would've also inspired a rant.
@3,5 "She thinks I'm overreacting and blames it on me being premenstrual."
I don't think it necessarily rules out it being a "serious fratboy shitty move", but the fact that it was one lesbian partner talking to another who was excusing the lack of containment of her rage, makes it somewhat more likely that this was a placating joke that failed.
To quote Dan in a previous slog letter "don't be a lesbian about it." Forgive this one time and apologize to her and set a post-coital timer for an agreed upon amount of time till regular activities can commence.
What sort of resolution are you looking for? If you want her to not do it again, you might just want to suggest a rule that you have a certain amount of personal time for cuddling, etc. after sex. But if you are just looking for her to admit she's wrong, then by all means get mad and make her defensive. Because that always works out well.
Maybe when you were fucking her while thinking about somebody else, yes - guys do it all the time, she was also thinking about someone or something else.
Just don't ever tell your wife that you sometimes think of other women while having sex with her because if she is like most women she will totally freak out and probably divorce you.
After a hook-up, once it's over you have to respect the other person's right to get the fuck on with whatever they want to. Sending a text isn't any more or less masturbatory than the sex itself; so by me, it's all good.
Rules do not apply to couples/first-time-fuckers etc.
As it was an "impromptu" session, her partner could very well have been thinking of work before you approached her unexpectedly. And, even if the sex were terrific, and she was satisfied, she might have been anxious to send the text before she got sleepy and her brain turned to mush - something that would have been more likely to happen if there had been a preset post-sex cuddle time. Sheesh.
.... Just cannot believe you actually wrote to an advice columnist about this..... Are you sure you don't have PMS? I mean, the fact you are actually holding a grudge over a one time post-coital text message? Just communicate and move on with your life.
For me, the elephant in the room is the phone. What the hell is it doing there to start with? I know I am in the minority, but I don't care. What emergencies could there be and how likely are they? Call the police, the fire department, ambulance or taxi. Leave me a message and I'll get it when I get up.
@26. I have occasionally left it on the side table as a backup for my alarm if I am catching an early flight, but that is it. Shagging on the couch may mean the phone is near by I suppose. Personally I wouldn't answer the damn thing - let alone text - if I am busy or just post busy.
Not a criticism (maybe), merely an observation.
Also, sometimes things run through your head when you're having sex. Sometimes random things, especially stressful things. If there's something she had pressing, she blew your mind but the alternative of her stopping the ramp up until work was taken care of would've also inspired a rant.
Get over it.
I don't think it necessarily rules out it being a "serious fratboy shitty move", but the fact that it was one lesbian partner talking to another who was excusing the lack of containment of her rage, makes it somewhat more likely that this was a placating joke that failed.
Just don't ever tell your wife that you sometimes think of other women while having sex with her because if she is like most women she will totally freak out and probably divorce you.
After a hook-up, once it's over you have to respect the other person's right to get the fuck on with whatever they want to. Sending a text isn't any more or less masturbatory than the sex itself; so by me, it's all good.
Rules do not apply to couples/first-time-fuckers etc.
Makes me wonder if they're still together.
Fury That Could Not Be Contained, thy name is Lesbian.
@25: You've never, ever, left a phone on the nightstand? Maybe they were humping on the couch?