WILDLY THRILLING Underpants snack.
  • WILDLY THRILLING Underpants snack.

Americans have enjoyed a vast yet mostly silent history with edible underwear. It was invented in 1975, a time of thrusting bodies and glossily lacquered perms and mountains of cocaine. Back then, the original brand, Candy Pants, was rumored to gross $150,000 per month, probably because the panties managed to embody a fantasy so witty and perverse and delightfully bizarre that everyone everywhere utterly bought into it. Still, it's hard to find much information online about the garment apart from the obvious: the wisecracks, the multiple and clearly bullshit stories ending in death-by-suffocation, and the fact that National Edible Underwear Day is fast approaching.

This year, why not surprise your mom with a pair. Several local sex-toy emporiums offer them in a range of styles, each as wildly thrilling as one could ever hope. In Capitol Hill...