For Valentine’s Day, we carefully selected the movies that will make your evening go smoothly and charm your sweetheart. Voilà! Choose the option that best fits your relationship:
—women are evil witches at SIFF
—a movie about a really old lady who dates a suicidal 20 year old
—torture porn à la 1968
—2 hours of almost classy pimps and coke and Elvis Presley
—arguments about economics and abortion
—a dude trying to bury his child at Auschwitz
Read on for all of the movies our critics recommend this weekend—including Say Anything, which will maybe work if you just can’t be categorized into the neat little boxes above. Also, the reviews stink—but committed Blue Steel fans might want to see Zoolander No. 2. If you need even more options, check out our complete movie times listings.
