78 replies on “And where do the Republicans say true Americans live?”

  1. 52

    Did you read 37?
    What better indication of having ‘risen again’ than having obliging Northerners pouring their hard earned money into your state, for FREE!

  2. @54, hmm, tough one. How about having a standard of living somewhat above that of the Third World? Mississippi and Alabama, northern Florida, most of Georgia and Tennessee and South Carolina are fucking toilets, with literacy rates and per-capita incomes and educational levels and cultural attainments that are a national embarrassment. So, yeah: enjoy your welfare states and your poverty and your declining influence on American life. Celebrate those long-ago glory days. Tote that barge. We’ve got a world to live in, and we don’t need you.

  3. I think we need to put the Confederate Flag on the penny, so that I can enjoy crushing it every time I get a souvenir penny at a tourist site.

    Hey, just a thought.

    And then when someone is being racist, we can throw pennies at them.

  5. 55
    gee, Steve, I suspect you haven’t seen much of the South.

    Southern states are gaining population relative to the rest of the nation.
    Someone must think it has a nice enough standard of living.

    Perhaps being cooped up in a failing welfare state hellhole like Seattle gives you a distorted perspective.
    There are places where the bus system works and the snow is cleared in a few hours and people aren’t afraid to walk the city streets at night.
    (people around here call Seattle the New Orleans of the NorthWest)

    Enjoy your Seattle ‘lifestyle’, Steve.
    Lounge over your PI and sip a Starbucks.

    Just hope the last rat scurrying out of Seattle remembers to flush that human crapper.

  6. 56

    Will, perhaps you could tattoo a Confederate Flag on your balls.

    Then you could crush them every time you sit down to pee and get them stuck under the toilet seat, you spastic bitch.

    Hey, just a thought.

    And then, when someone is being a racist, you could moon them.

  7. @58, Alabama’s rate of growth due to migration is much lower than Washington’s. It picked up in the ’90s, after many decades of massive population loss. Alabamans do, however, like people in most Third World nations, breed like rabbits, which has made up for the difference. In the 2000s, Alabama is estimated to have grown by 4.8%; Washington by 21.1%.

    “Lifestyle” in this case has nothing to do with coffee drinks and everything to do with average life expectancy (Alabama ranks 48th among the states, Washington 13th, more than four years longer), GDP per head (Alabama ranks 44th, Washington 17th — more than $10,000 more per person) and infant mortality rate (Alabama 5th-highest, Washington 39th-highest, almost half).

    Health index: Alabama 41st, Washington 13th.

    Lest you think I’m cherry-picking these two states to skew the data, let me just tell you that the healthiest states are Vermont and New Hampshire; the least healthy are Louisiana and Mississippi. The Deep South as a group comes out worst in just about every conceivable measure. Washington is well above-average.

    But you feel free to make your ill-informed (and ill-formed, too, but that goes back to the difference in state literacy rates, I imagine) criticisms, instead of working to make your state a more worthwhile place to live.

    There are some people in Alabama who are looking to the future, creating jobs and improving people’s lives, but they’re not the sort who celebrate the ugliest parts of their disastrous history.

  8. “Most Southern states recognize Confederate Memorial Day as a legal holiday. Some celebrate it on the June birthday of Confederate President Jefferson Davis, but Texas and Arkansas observe it on Jan. 19, the federal holiday for slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr.”

    WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  9. Speaking of Alabama, as I see it, EARTH is the Alabama of the Universe. If there is any intelligent life beyond our planet, I’m positive they advise each other not to even bother stopping here, even if they are short of fuel and need to gas up.

  10. 60
    You dwell too much on statistics, you pasty bloated fishfaced pompous ass.
    You might consider more how you live your life and less how long you may cling to it.
    You’re average trailer park redneck whitetrash Alabamian does more actual living in a year than you will eke out in your miserable measured 75.9 years.

  15. In 1860 Alabama had a white population of 525,000.
    About 120,000 would fight in the Civil War, about a fourth of them would die.

    They were fighting for Alabama.
    Alabama did not regret or begrudge the price then.
    It does not now.

    To put it in perspective, it would be as if America enlisted 67,000,000 to fight in Iraq and almost 17 million died.

    It would be as if Washington State with 6.5 million sent 1,500,000 off to war and 375,000 never came home.

    Would one and a half million Washingtonians fight for their state?

    Would they risk, and a fourth give, their lives for Washington State?

    Or would they cling to their alloted 75.9 years greedily.

    Seattle Liberals have nothing to teach Alabamians about quality of life.

  16. @68
    No, but you might learn a thing or two about the quality of arguments. None of your bullshit statistics speak to the points made by the people you think you’re refuting.

  17. I’m pretty sure a fourth of Washingtonians would not fight and die for the ownership of human beings. You got me there.

    I’m also pretty sure we never had widespread outbreaks of pellagra here, either. Y’all got that under control nowadays?

    Lynyrd Skynyrd sucks donkey dick, by the way. The Allman Brothers were OK in places, though, when Duane was still alive.

  18. @70: Not to be defending dumbasses who wanna wave the Confederate flag around and talk about their “heritage” out of pure mean-spirited ignorance, but let’s be fair: Southerners today no more personally defended slavery through force of arms than modern Washingtonians personally killed the Nez Perce. People have some fucked-up ideas about which parts of their cultural heritage to take pride in, but there’s plenty of stupid to go around in that regard. I don’t hear a lot of politicians, when they give one of those boilerplate speeches on Memorial Day about our brave generations of fighting men, ever make an exception for the Indian Wars or the Spanish-American War or the Philippine-American War or any of a host of other highly questionable conflicts engaged in by our nation. No, they spread the honor around to all the soldiers who fought when asked regardless of the reasons for war or the outcome. If there’s blame to be parceled out, good taste demands it rest on the shoulders of the leaders who called them to fight.

    Also, Southerners get tired of getting picked on by snotty Northerners, especially when it really boils down to “we’re better than you because you’re poor.” That shit is fucking obnoxious. So maybe tone down the patronizing tone a bit. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t go off on Mexicans for coming from a place where poverty is rampant, and yet that’s what you’re doing to Southerners. So damn straight they get upset about it. They have a point.

  20. It’s true the Emancipation Proclamation only freed slaves in states that were in rebellion. If you owned a slave in Washington DC you could rest assured that that slave was still your property. Lincoln was a poet who used the Constitution as his muse, he could only free slaves in states that were in rebellion, to free slaves in states that weren’t would have been unconstitutional.

    As for Robert E. Lee, read “Grant Speaks,” it sure helps to take Lee down a few pegs. What an asshole.

    As for a meditation on slavery I really liked “The Confessions of Nat Turner.” It made me think how our nation was born in kink. I mean think about it, you know, just close your eyes and take a few deep breaths and think about how fucking sexy it would be to own people. People you could have absolute control over. You could fuck anyone, do anything. Knowing what we know about what bankers will do once the regulations are called off, just what do you think white guys who think they own the world wouldn’t do to a pretty young black thing? So, you know, you got this plantation, and it’s really making money on the cotton thing, but you got people to take care of that, what you’re really into is the permanent sex holiday you seem to have been born into. So you have the guy who owns the plantation down the river up for dinner on a Thursday night. Oh, yeah! You both know, with that glint in your eye, that wry smile, fuck yeah! It’s kinky nation! And yes, yes, we’ll all jump on our horses and fight to bloody gory death to preserve “our way of life.” l

  22. 69
    That’s the point.
    A batch of cold census statistics are an incredibly lame basis for pride in state and region.
    That may be what motivates Northwesterners but it lacks any soul or vitality.
    Which kind of describes Seattle.

  23. @ 75: I’ll keep my fresh salmon, clam strips and geoduck, and you can keep your catfish and squirrel stew, and lets just call it even.

  24. @ 75: I’ll keep my fresh salmon, clam strips and geoduck, and you can keep your catfish and squirrel stew, and lets just call it even.

  25. The “soul or vitality” of the south is 100% down to the descendants of those African slaves. White people in the south have neither. At least, the ones who celebrate the Confederacy don’t. Your antebellum plantation culture is entirely bogus: false, deliberately misleading, and worthless.

    If you want to talk about Southern folkways, food and music, let’s get it on, but if you want to bring out the Confederate Battle Flag and start spouting nonsense, you’re going to lose the argument. Just like last time.

  26. If it’s not a racial thing, why do they celebrate it as an alternatie to MLK Day? Why not as an alternative to President’s Day or the 4th of July? Those are political holidays, so you’d be making a protest political statement. But MLK Day is all about that great man’s triumph and sacrifice in pursuit of racial equality. When you recongnize Confederate Day in lieu of MLK Day, you automatically have made a racial (and racist) statement.

  27. Hey Chicago Fan and the rest of you, read your history and quit being an idiots. The American Civil war was not a civil war or a rebellion because the south had no desire to take over the Federal Government. The southern states wanted to LEAVE the “union” and had the constitutional right to do so. The “union” supported the unfair trade practices of the northern states and along with waning cotton production the southern economy was in very poor shape. They felt they had to leave the union to take back control of their destiny. Further more, the south did NOT want a war. Davis pleaded with Lincoln to let the south succeed peacefully. The idiot Lincoln was going to unconstitutionally force the south to remain in the union, hence the term “war of northern aggression.” The failure of the federal government created the environment which lead to the South’s desire to succeed and the federal government was not able to correct the situation. And, accompanied by Lincoln’s poor decisions so many thousands of Americans needlessly died. And by the way, I guess you think the colonial states’ little rebellion was a fucking stupid thing to do.

  28. Typical Seattle claptrap: a whole gang of self-aggrandizing idiots spewing big pronouncements, unalterably convinced that everybody everywhere else actually gives a shit about your opinion of them. Sad, feckless little men so isolated from the rest of American society that you’ve overcompensated for your provincialism by convincing yourselves that your cloistered attitudes constitute sophistication and enlightenment. It would be sad…if it weren’t so fuckin’ funny!

    -Stevenj

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