Everybody is attacking National Review‘s Kevin D. Williamson for the line in his latest essay about Mitt Romney that accuses Obama of being unmanly because he’s only sired two daughters, whereas Romney has fathered a flock of burly boys. And there is a lot to attack in this line: “Professor Obama? Two daughters. May as well give the guy a cardigan. And fallopian tubes.” But I’m totally enamored with this passage where Williamson encourages Romney to get his swagger on. It’s like the dopey little white kid in a boarding school who only listened to gangsta rap is now all grown up and writing editorials:
If he hadn’t given away so much money to his church, charities, and grandkids, Mitt Romney would have more money than Jay-Z.
It is time for Mitt Romney to get in touch with his inner rich guy.
Some Occupy Wall Street types, believing it to be the height of wit, have begun to spell Romney’s name “Rmoney.” But Romney can do better than that — put it in all caps: R-MONEY. Jay-Z can keep his puny little lowercase letters and the Maybach: R-MONEY doesn’t own a flashy car with rims, R-MONEY does billion-dollar deals with Keystone Automotive and Delphi. You want to make it rain? R-MONEY is going to make it storm, like biblical. Rappers boast about their fat stacks: R-MONEY’s fat stacks live in a beachfront house of their own in the Hamptons, and the bricks in that house are made from tightly bound hundred-dollar bills. You have a ton of money? R-MONEY has 200 metric tons of money if he decides to keep it in cash.
One day, Williamson is going to look back on this piece and feel an overwhelming wave of embarrassment. That wave of embarrassment will be totally earned.