You guys, I appreciate the effort here, but this is basically the most innocuous Mudede post of all time. For your outrageification, I present Mudede’s greatest hits:
8. The time he compared the town of Enumclaw to an anus:
If we see the volcano, Mt Rainier, as the geological equivalent to the organ that got the horse its name (Big Dick), then we must see the town of Enumclaw as an anus. It is the final point of the urban body.
7. His rules on <a href=”crying:
Nothing is bad enough, worthy enough for a young (or old) man (and I only speak for men) to cry about.
6. The time he said that pregnant women are unattractive:
Sex with a pregnant women is not right or wrong but dishonest. It’s an act that is close to pity. One does it because one is trying to be nice, and not being honest about how much their partner’s body has changed.
5. Everything to do with dogs:
If a human animal puts his/her asshole directly on the floor of a grocery store, he/she will be arrested.
4. The time he killed a horse:
I returned four days later to find a horrible sight in Dandy’s section of the stable.
3. Everything to do with Amanda Knox:
She is a hole that only knows how to be a hole.
2. The time he said that Lawrence Fishburne’s daughter became a prostitute because she wants to have sex with her dad:
We can begin to suspect that the daughter wanted sex from the father but was denied—this block meant that she could never be like her mother, a woman who fucked the absolute master.
1. The time when he said that Steven Curtis Chapman’s son ran over his sister because she was Chinese:
The other Chinese girls in this wholesome family better keep on eye on their American “brother.”
Also, you guys totally skewered Seattle with your awesome rain jokes (except you forgot coffee! And flannel! And Bill Gates—what a nerd!), but what’s a “waterbrain”? Is that a hydrocephalus reference? Is hydrocephalus caused by a rainy climate? Is disdain for the middle class a symptom of hydrocephalus? I’m not following. But as for your speculation that Mudede “is either doing some elaborate satire” that you don’t get, or he’s “some sort of weird hybrid of Marie Antoinette and a class-destructing communist.” Yes. Yes on both counts. Congratulations.
You also the forgot the one where he claimed his daughter was a victim of racism, never allowed the teacher to respond to the charges, then dropped the whole story and ran as far from his stinking pile of race baiting shit as he could.
If he hates white people so much, why dd he marry one?
Sure, when you put his greatest hits together like this I actually love Charles. These are some hilarious one-liners.
@53: A better question would be, why did she marry him?
If he just wants to bait people for his own amusement, that’s one thing, but he has actually hurt some people along the way.
The comments on Mr. Mudede’s posts are way better than the posts themselves. He generates comments and website hits which equates to advertising revenue. Pure capitalism keeps this commie around.
Please! More Mudede! He should have a 24 hour hotline. He is frequently the only author worth reading in the Stranger.
I’m a big Charles fan. I love his writing–especially his features in the stranger. I find his ideas refreshing–even when I don’t agree with them. Everybody else can keep on playing it safe.
@1: Yes
Canuck, you have become one of my very favourite commenters. Thank you!
@15: Yep
@32: Exactly this.
“…he makes me think more than any other Stranger writer.”
Yeah, and Moe was the smartest of the Three Stooges. Ain’t exactly high praise.
if someone chucked a handful of poop at a line of stranger writers Charles would be the last one I would consider diving across the room & taking poo-in-the-face for. Just sayin’
@62, Is there any Stranger writer for whom you would take a steamer in the face?
@62, you are even more obtuse and confusing than charles mudede
that’s a pretty good list Lindy, but any rundown of Charles’ greatest misses is soooo very incomplete without this charmer:
http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/09/from…
@63, Circular reference error. That was for @61. I should hope nobody would be willing to receive a poo in the face to protect a Stranger writer, or most other people for that matter.
@63 ok, you want it in plain terms? Charles isn’t on my fucking team & never will be
I think that Gawker tantrum was one of the biggest gifts to Herrn C. Mudede. (Or burdens, in his mind.)
I’ve always enjoyed Mudede’s strange trails.
@59 I *heart* you too, Irena! (And good to know there is yet another slogger who appreciates any delicious man candy I dredge up from the depths of the internets… 🙂
I’m not a Mudede fan, generally, but he’s right about the pregnant ladies.
He is totally NOT right about pregnant ladies! I mean, geez, the preggers women have bigger boobs! Now I know that a lotsa boyz like them jugs!
People still read Gawker?
“Viva Mudede” — could someone make stickers? I want one!
@48
I know, can you imagine?
@70: Damn right.
I wouldn’t phuck a preggers chick with Mudede’s dick.
My theory is that Charles Mudede and Will in Seattle are just the same person. Discuss.
@69 and @75: Hopefully you won’t breed then. Because some pregger women have absolutely phenomenal orgasms and it would be a crime to deny them those orgasms.
My favorite Charles Mudede posts are the ones where I don’t realize it’s Mudede at first. Like, there will be an innocuous introduction, then a photo, then it takes a hard left turn into Mudedeville. I don’t feel properly Mudede’d if I don’t get that moment of “Hey, wait a minute … MUDEDE!”
@78, I like to think you shake a tiny fist at the heavens at those moments while somewhere, far away, in his secret volcano lair, Chas Mudede rubs his hands together and cackles morosely. I’m not sure how exactly you cackle morosely, but that seems like one of those things they ought to teach you when and if you become a card carrying communist. Or Wobbly. Or whatever. MOROSE CACKLING.