- Seattle Municipal Archives / Stranger Flickr
From this morning’s mail:
Fuck You, Bike to Work Day People!
I bike to work every day. Sure, I do it because it’s my only source of exercise but mostly because we only have one car and my husband works in the south end. So we’re doing our part to be green and shit, right? Right. So on Bike to Work Day, I stop at the Dexter and Fremont ‘Commute Stop’ to share in the love with my fellow brethren and pick up my swag. But what do I get when I go up to the booth? Nothing. Not a glance. And you want to know why? I’m gonna tell you why. Because I don’t look like I’ve been dipped head-to-toe in Spandex. Because I’m
not wearing bike shorts with a pillow strapped to my ass. My commute is 2.4 MILES and I refuse to dress up like radioactive Playmobile doll for 15 minutes. I can bike up Dexter in my Capri pants and ballet flats just as good as the rest of you motherfuckers. So you know what, Bike to Work People? You can keep your fucking socks and plastic bottles and annoying blinking lights. You can admire my ass in my NON-PADDED jeans when I pass your fat one going up Dexter, my Pashmina scarf flying in your face.
I have a very short bike commute, too, and I sometimes do it in high heels. Solidarity, sister! You don’t want a plastic bag full of crappy bike swag anyway. Every day is Bike to Work day!
it’s rude and uncouth to wave and say good morning when i come face to face with people in my neighborhood and to think it’s strange that there’s never any reciprocation? hmm. i didn’t know that. thanks!
@47- I’m very happy for everyone out there doing what they’re doing (except brakeless fixies), but I don’t want to have to say hi to every person I ride by.
let me elaborate: i’m not trying to stop them on their way and force them to interact. i’m not trying to have a conversation. i’m acknowledging them. i don’t stop moving either. it’s just a gesture, like giving someone the little wave when they let you into traffic.
what is so offensive about that?
@51- Do they know you? Do you know them? I ride past a few hundred people every morning. Am I supposed to say hi to all of them? Do you say hi to every person you walk by downtown?
i’m not IN DOWNTOWN!! i’m on a residential street in the middle of fucking nowhere! the cyclist(s) and I are the only ones around! they look right at me and i smile and say good morning!
and somehow to you i’m the one being the dick. i give up.
@53- Did they let you in traffic? No, you were walking one way, they were riding another, and you forced them to pay attention to you in a really passive-aggressive way.
attention everyone: acknowledging that other people exist is passive aggressive. pass it on!
@39: It’s weird, isn’t it? I always carry a patch kit, a pump, tools and a first aid kit with me, and I always, always offer to help people who are stuck on the side of the road. I can’t tell you how many of other people’s flat tires I’ve fixed, how many band aids I’ve given out, or the time I gave a woman with a potassium deficiency my Bumble Bar, even though I was hungry and 20 very hilly, very hot miles from home.
But the times I’ve been bleeding on the side of the road, or fixing my own flat tire? Sometimes people ask if they can help, but most don’t. I’ve always thought it was because I was a fat woman. Most cyclists are men, and it seems like they take personal offense to my existence. Except when I’m fixing their fucking tires.
personally, i like to wear little red shoe booties over my heels when i ride.
How about we stop fighting each other and focus on eliminating the real problem: roller bladers and long boarders
EVERYBODY knows that if you don’t wear padded spandex shorts and shirts with red flashy logos, clip-on shoes, blinking lights, aerodynamic helmet and shades, whilst riding on your $10k Trek you’re a loser. It’s the law. Darn hippies.
You can bike to work in a gorilla suit for all I fucking care.
No no! Please don’t discourage people from wearing spandex! I love it.
@ 57, that’s just dwight. He’s made snide comments about the people he encounters on the street before, so it’s clear that he thinks he’s too important to be inconvenienced by things like friendly greetings.
As to your original question, I would guess that your bicyclist neighbors are similarly afflicted. Is your neighborhood the kind of new development populated by ambitious professionals? Anywhere you go, those people are rude to anyone who is not part of their circle, or anyone they are not being forced to deal with. I wouldn’t take it personally.
No, no. Leave the public displays of group association to motorcyclists and pre-wedgie VW bus drivers – you know, the professionals.
You amateurs, especially those of you on wobbly two-wheelers, could get yourselves hurt trying to wave and pedal at the same time.
When I was a student, I was too cool for spandex togs and proudly wore jeans on my 7 mile bike commute. Then I’d sit smelly in class in my wet shirt with the crotch ripped out of my jeans. But now that I have a big people job with a dress code I am forced to don the spandex and change into business casual in the locker room.
Up until this point I was under the impression that my commute uniform made me look like a tool, but apparently I look “elite”– sweet!
thanks matt! dwight somehow got the impression that i jump up and down on the crowded city sidewalk yelling “pay attention to ME!!” at bicyclists who are trying to not get hit by trucks, then chasing them down and forcing them to interact when my tender feelings get hurt. i must not have made myself clear.
as for the neighborhood, it’s mixed – condos and older, modest houses as well as multimillion dollar ones. lots of woods and trails. it’s very hilly out here. i’m not sure if the cyclists live in the neighborhood or if they make cougar mountain state park a destination by car and then do the hills on bikes or what.
the only thing i really wanted to point out was that in my experience, cyclists are the one segment of “traffic” (foot/wheel/otherwise) that i see out here who are consistently rude to runners/walkers. maybe to each other too, based on some comments here. i simply wanted to get some feedback on why that is. i guess i have my answer.
@ dwight moody
Let me guess… You played Francis in _Stripes_, right? The guy who always demanded everyone call him ‘Psycho’?
“You look at me or say Hi, I kill ya.”
lol….
@dwight moody
sorry, YOU are the one that doesn’t get it. @22 is the only one that does.
I bike commute and I don’t care if people wear spandex or not but the line-up of 20 commuter nerds riding up the Dexter Hill at a painfully slow 2 mph every weekday morning makes me laugh everytime.
I feel like I’ve been left out of bike-to-work day too – it’s my day off. I’ll be biking the usual 30min commute tomorrow, but to zero fanfare.
And I don’t get the spandex crowd. You changing your pants in the men’s room when you get there? Fuck that, just buy a comfortable seat. Oh, but then you won’t be hardcore.
Hell, yeah.
What’s with the costumes? Is it not possible to get on a bike and ride without half an hour of preparation.
Also, the rule is not thus: the more I spend=the better “athlete” I am.
I have never encountered a “road cyclist” in spandex that I haven’t been able to pass up-hill in my jeans/shirt/$200 fixie. I HAVE been giving SO MUCH SHIT by them though. “real cyclists” are the ones who can ride up a hill without breaking a sweat. They’re not douche bags who have $5,000 to spend on equipment nobody needs unless they’re IN Tour de france. JEALOUS MUCH?! 🙂
The whole spandex-Nazi scene is so “Stuff White People Like” it makes me wanna puke.
Good lord. After reading @73, I don’t want to know what judgements people pass on me on my road bike and spandex. I don’t wear it for you, i wear it for me.
@ 73, what’s with the passive-aggressive smiley face? If you’re going to talk smack, do it like a man, okay?
Bicyclists wearing spandex is weird to me, because if you have a Vespa, you’re inundated with constant warnings to wear full-head helmets and armored clothing at all times. Apparently a 35 mph scooter requires full armor, but someone going 25 mph on a bicycle can get by wearing clothing a micron thick.
71 – no bike seat is comfortable. No matter how fancy-shmancy, no matter how expensive or how many holes it has in it, it is never going to be “comfortable.”
78 – Comfortable in relative terms. I’ve got an 11″ wide Cloud-9 seat, and while it’s no la-z-boy, it was cheap and is most decidedly not UNcomfortable.
She’s angry probably because she knows the spandex-wearing bikers are really just SUV /Hummer driving eco-wannabees who like to pretend they sympathize with the hard working little people who look down their snooty little noses at everyone *not them*.
@68- I don’t remember that character for Stripes. I haven’t seen that movie in a couple decades. But I liked it.
@60- AMEN. Man, rollerbladers on bike paths are annoying, but longboarders flailing down a sidewalk have got to be the most dangerous unmotorized vehicle on earth. And they never say hi to me.
@68- I don’t remember that character for Stripes. I haven’t seen that movie in a couple decades. But I liked it. Anyway, I don’t have a problem with people saying hi, just people expecting a response.
@69- I’ve been bike commuting for the vast majority of the last decade and a half, which is most of the time I’ve been out of college. I completely understand how great cycling is. That wasn’t the OP’s point AT ALL.
This is probably dead but –
Here’s my beef: One of the purposes of Bike to Work Day is to get people who DON’T usually ride to work to try it, yes? In that case, the organizers/volunteers at those commute stops SHOULD be jumping up and down like a goddamn kangaroo when they see someone pull up in street clothes, saying ‘YAAAAYY! You biked to work! Wasn’t it great? Thanks for trying it! BTW here’s some stuff to make it easier next time!’ and hand them a water bottle. I’m all for supporting those who bike everyday, but if anyone who isn’t on Team Unitard is made to feel like they don’t belong, then, guess what, they won’t do it anymore. Bike to Work Day should be inclusive, not elitist, IMHO.
@83 Come now, don’t be logical.
Ugh, Capri Pants.
It must be tough to ride with that enormous chip on your shoulder. Perhaps you should try pulling some of those specials shorts over your head to pad your shoulders….
Ever hear of Occam’s Razor?
Some volunteers are at a busy booth on a busy day, with many many people trying to get service in a very very small space. They don’t respond to you INSTANTANEOUSLY. Is it because:
a) they’re BUSY and run off their feet, and will get to you the second they deal with the 8 other people who got there before you;
b) they’re BUSY and distracted by the 5 other tasks they have to do in addition to serving people;
c) they actually have the time to notice what the hell you’re wearing, let alone harbor some bizarre prejudice.
I’m going to go with A or B, since they actually make sense.
Signed, Someone Who Has Recently Volunteered At A Public Information Booth, and promises she had no time whatsoever to notice or care what anyone was wearing.
spandex clad dildo’s in clown suits, wont say hello but always give unsolicited advice about proper gear ratio to use, why do you ride a brooks leather saddle, why the pannier bags,you ride in street clothes ??? but when the light turns green they clip in & speed off looking back at me & my 40lb bike like they just won a medal & the yellow jersey. the next one to overtake me with out a “passing on your left”
‘ is gonna get a big snotty nose bullet fired at them. what a bunch of self rightous TOOLS. if you ride with ear plugs in you’re an even bigger FUCK HEAD !
@dwight moody – Seek help. You’re not well.
Wear whatever you want. Go at the speed you want. And let me do the same.
OTOH, I love the people who bash Lycra-wearing cyclists, or gloat about passing them. Funny, you haven’t passed me; I’m sure I would remember.
And about the Lycra? I don’t love it, but hot day + 50 mile roundtrip commute + NO chafing is reason enough for me.
Wow… I guess I’m just secure enough to not really care what s/he is wearing or riding. I just dig people cycling. As for SWAG, I suppose my take is I didn’t have it when I showed up, how am I diminished if I ride away without it. The microcosm of cyclists (roadie, fixie, trail, unicycle) is representative of the greater society to which we all belong. Some are nice, some are not, some have an agenda, some don’t & there’s everything in-between. I just can’t get my panties in a twist over any of this, too blissed out from my commute… me