I bet you thought “Ben Carson says God helped Joseph build pyramids for the Egyptians” was the craziest Carson-related news you’d hear this week. Nope! Turns out he totally made up a whole story about getting a scholarship to West Point.
Clue number 1 is the fact that West Point doesn’t offer scholarships. Well, that’s kind of a tipoff.
And then there’s another story that might not be what elitist scientists refer to as “true”: that he was a violent kid who calmed down after he found Jesus. But all of the people who knew him back then said that he was never that interesting. Is Ben Carson really running for president, or is he making that up too?
Alas, it probably doesn’t matter that he’s crazy about pyramids/lying about West Point.
None of Carson’s crazy claims change the reason people are supporting him: evangelical fervor. Carson pretty much owns the Jesus-freak vote — exactly the sort of people who would be like “oh, yeah, those pyramids were totally a gift from God,” since they can’t bear the thought that actual African people were capable of such feats.
(Egyptian officials remain tight-lipped on the subject of their massive granaries, which probably means they’re still hoarding all the grain for themselves. It’s time we elected a president who’ll march our troops into Africa and take it!)
The good news is that while white Evangelicals make up half of Republican primary voters, they probably won’t be able to carry him much further than that. And I doubt that he even wants them to. His so-called “campaign” is really just a book tour, and he has no interest in policies or issues. He barely even has an economic plan, and why would you if your only goal is to impress Fox News viewers with your Bible power?
When asked about Cuban immigration policies, for example, Ben basically said “Iunno” and then thew up a little Bible-talk: “Even Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, said, ‘A multitude of counselors is safety,'” Carson said.
Nice one. Remember when someone asked George W. Bush who his favorite philosopher was, and he said “Jesus”? These guys know who their audience is, what they want to hear, and which lies won’t bother them one bit.
Most conventional wisdom has it that Carson will drop out eventually and then write a book or get a show about how shitty the liberal media is. And yeah, having to see Ben pop up on cable TV shows whenever you visit your grandparents’ house is unappealing. But at least he’s not operating on people’s brains anymore — God knows what sort of theories he had about storing grain in his patients’ skulls.
