Tony Romo back in the good old days when his name was still synonymous with failure.

Nothing like a massive Tony Romo&ndashshaped speed bump on the Seahawks’ Insufferable Journey to Rewinnining the Super Bowl™ to make you not want to read about the Seahawks. Yeah, I see you out there in internet land, not wanting to read the words that you’re reading. Thinking about clicking away, scrolling down, avoiding the pain. That’s so like you, user of the internet.

Don’t be like you.

Click on the jump and read about the Seahawks even though they lost 30-23 to the Dallas Cowboys. Do it. Dooooo it.

The Seahawks are weird. Generally, this is good: Weird football means doing yoga and being positive and looking for undervalued diamond-in-the-rough assets and giving them a chance to become superstars. Seahawks weirdness means Pete Carroll, Richard Sherman, and Russell Wilson. But sometimes being weird isn’t great. Like how our team’s offense yesterday featured almost exclusively weird plays and personnel packages all game long despite having success doing normal things.

Second and 8. Tie game. Fourth quarter. Whole playbook is available. The Seahawks brought Cornell product Bryan Walters on a pre-snap motion across to the short side of the field, pumped to him once, and then threw to him five yards behind the line of scrimmage with one blocker against three potential tacklers. It went like this:


(gif via @Jose8BS)

I don’t want to engage in post-loss hyperbole, but that is the terriblest. Why not just run the ball with Marshawn Lynch, or throw to him, or do anything other than this play? This play misdirected the defense to a fifth-string receiver, and then threw the ball to him anyways. The Seahawks wasted downs on Cornell grads today like Cornell grads wasting their breath explaining that Cornell wasn’t their safety school. Look, someone had to go to Cornell. It’s fine, stop telling me about the merit of going to a semi-public Ivy League school. This hypothetical conversation sucks as much as a triple-option pass to Bryan Walters on 2nd and 8.

Other thoughts from an annoying week of weird football:

• What if there were no holding? I mean, the rules to football, like all games, are just made up. So why have holding? Let people hold! More holding! Two men grappling with one another in manly combat should be legal. Am I saying this because the Seahawks offensive line could use every advantage it can get, and the Seahawks pass rush can’t get to the passer anyway? Stop asking me questions, and start questioning the notion of holding. It’s a weird penalty if you choose to not take it as a given!

• Very stupid football thought of the week: Tony Romo reminds me of Tony Roma’s, which sells ribs. Ribs are delicious.

• Not-so-stupid football thought of the week: Tony Romo reminds me of Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers, whose career renaissance last year looks a lot like Romo’s resurgence this year.

• Russell Wilson was terrible this week. Hopefully he won’t be next week. That would be unfortunate! Fortunately, he’s been very good for most of his career, so he probably will be better next week.

• Hopefully Doug Baldwin doesn’t read this, because I fear his wrath, but the Seahawks receiving corp is looking like a big question mark. Baldwin is an invaluable safety valve option, Jermaine Kearse is a solid deep threat, and the depth behind them is fine. But Percy Harvin is being used primarily as a decoy and running option and the team clearly misses Golden Tate’s sure hands. The team drafted two wide receivers this year, Paul Richardson and Kevin Norwood, and neither one has featured prominently. It would be nice to see what they can do soon, because drops and a lack of separation have been killing this offense.

• In the other football, the Sounders were also terrible this weekend, so that was fun! Fortunately the LA Galaxy were no better, leaving MLS’s top two teams, who happen to play their final two games against each other, locked in battle for the league’s best record. Fun times ahead! (Note: Times will likely not be fun, based on the two teams’ current level of play, but they will be interesting.)

• Losing to the Cowboys is stupid, but not because of their fans. Despite Dallas’s run in the ’90s and the whole awful America’s Team shtick, the team has actually suffered through a pretty brutal two decades. What’s stupid is that we all have to suffer through a week of “the NFL is better when the Cowboys are good” columns. So stupid. So, so stupid.

The Seahawks are on the road in St. Louis next weekend, in what is suddenly looking like a must-win. Boy, it would be nice if they win, or we’re all going to start being sufferable far sooner than any of us could have hoped.