I told you he (probably) would be, and now it’s confirmed. Marshawn Lynch will be playing for the Seattle Seahawks in 2015.

Why is this happening?

Because Lynch is getting paid a lot of money. Twelve million guaranteed in a market where old running backs are paid like men whose job is to run fast but also have been hit in the legs thousands of times by larger men. Lynch is not like other men like this though, so that’s good. Also, this deal only guarantees Lynch is around for one more year, which is also good at this point in Lynch’s career. Basically the Seahawks now have a framework in place to give Lynch a bunch of money until he stops playing well, at which point he can retire. A rare late-career win-win contract for a non-quarterback in the NFL.

Also, Lynch got to clear the air after the Super Bowl play-calling debacle in a meeting that included head coach Pete Carroll, boy wizard John Schneider, local art fair operator Paul Allen, and Lynch’s agent. That is a House of Cards-level amount of power in one room. I assume they mostly talked about binge-watching House of Cards. What a meh season, am I right, guys?

So Beastmode is back, and everything is great again just so long as everyone agrees to never replay the end of last year’s Super Bowl. Deal? Deal.

In other Seahawks news, oft-injured tight end Zach Miller is gone, suggesting that the Seahawks will be players in the tight-end free-agency market (as I doubt they’re going to plan on going ride-or-die on Luke “Dubstep” Willson). Also, Jermaine Kearse was tendered a contract, suggesting he’ll be back next year for the Jermaine Kearse rolley-coster-receiving experience. Yay, I mean boo, I mean yay!

Please draft some receiving options, guys. Please. Please please please.

And finally, more seats at CenturyLink!

It’s now slightly less impossible to see a Seahawks game in the flesh. Exciting!