Yesterday, the Republican Jewish Coalition held a summit in DC and invited a bunch of the candidates to come make their cases. They surely expected a little pandering, awkwardness, and confusion. But they probably weren’t prepared for Trump to declare himself the “winner” of the event, which was not a contest, or for Carson to reveal his theory about a Star of David hidden on U.S. currency.
Of course, none of the candidates are actually Jewish themselves, but for a few minutes on Thursday, they did their best to be Jew-adjacent. As Rick Santorum boasted, he even met a Jew once.
Trump’s rhetoric was probably the strangest, because he is a brilliant sociopath and a master of acquiring and exploiting attention. He informed the assembled crowd that Jews are known for their haggling, and for controlling politicians.
Ho ho! Good one, Trumpy. The crowd laughed at his little joke there, but later booed when he said that Jerusalem might not be the capitol of Israel. (Israel says it is, most of the world says it isn’t, and it’s a huge point of contention.) He also shrugged about whether Israel really wants peace. “I don’t know that Israel has a commitment to make a deal,” he said. Later someone heckled him from the front row and Trump called him a “wise guy.” No word on whether the spectator had any frankincense.
Trump later tweeted that he “totally won” the summit, because a lot of people clapped for him. Who knows where he got that idea. It sounds like something a parent tells their talentless child after a school play.
Mike Huckabee (he’s still running! Really!) was a fun speaker too. Remember, a few months ago he said that Obama’s Iran deal would “take the Israelis and march them to the door of the oven,” ack.
On Thursday, he affirmed Jerusalem at the capitol of Israel, and reminded the crowd that “Judaism is the foundation of everything I believe as an Evangelical.” Of course, sure it is, but he might not want to remind people of that fact. Huckabee identifies as a Christian Zionist, and believes in a Bible prophecy that Jews need to gather in Israel in order for the world to end. Sounds like fun.
Ben Carson, who recently said that the Holocaust could have been prevented if the Jews had more guns, told the crowd that there’s a Star of David on the back of the one dollar bill, which is proof that Jews are important to America. Well … okay. There are some five-pointed stars assembled in a circle and you could draw some lines across them to form a six-pointed star. I’m just surprised he didn’t bring up the pyramid.
Carson also refused to make eye contact during his speech, pronounced Hamas as “hummus,” and explained that “the world is complicated.” Real presidential material! To be fair, maybe he was just unprepared — Carson was originally planning on snubbing the event because he had “other things to do.”
The rest of the idiot candidates fumbled their way through as best they could. Rubio promised to support Israel; Kasich’s mother once told him that Jews are loyal; and Jim Gilmore (who?) used Schindler’s List as an applause line.
Only eleven more months of this to go!
