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This story’s everywhere today, so why not here, too?: The UK Sun on the baby-faced 13-year-old British boy who’s a new father.

Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend [15-year-old] Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne.

Full story here.

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...

61 replies on “Sperm Is Weird”

  1. Thanks, lily@20.

    I agree with those who think Alfie’s parents should ask for a paternity test for Maisie. I hit puberty early (9) but was 6’0″ by the time I was Alfie’s age.

  2. @ Fnarf,

    Yes, but when I was fifteen, I had sex because I was horny. I was assuming that was the motivation behind most teenage sex…and then I looked at the prepubescent father and went “eww, ick”. Would any normal 15 year old think “Ooo, la la” when they look at Alfie? At that age I was hot for River Phoenix, not second graders.

  4. That photo is pretty creepy, she totally looks like the mother of both of them. I suppose since he was 12 and she was 14 when the had sex, maybe she hit puberty in the past year. Maybe they were both little really young looking kids messing around with each other, not really thinking of what was going to happen, then she just grew half a foot taller over the course of a year. Usually around 14/15 is when kids have their growth spurt. It’s still weird, but it makes her seem less like a molester.

  6. That gal should be arrested for pedophilia. Look at them! She’s huge! Seriously, we all know gals mature faster than males! Eew! Can you imagine them in bed!? EEW!

  7. She might also be huge because she just had a child and probably gained a fair amount of weight whilst pregnant. (I am also betting she probably didn’t have the most attentive pre-natal care nor the most healthful diet)

    What is really sad is how exploited these kids are by the fundies and how they were likley neglected to one degree or another by their parents and society prior to this whole situation.

  8. Sad! Sad! They were on the news last night, poor boy did not know what really happened. They’re living with her family, and he is going to be a “stay at home dad” of sorts. Not the future I want for my 13 and 10 year old kids.

  11. this has nothing to do with the kid im sure itll be fine but chit those parents should have never been having sex blame there parents ….stupid

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