Most bands born before the ’80s became suck in that decade. Mike Nipper asks, what if John Bonham hadn’t drank three bottles of vodka and then drowned in his own vomit on September 25, 1980? Would Zeppelin, too, have met the Suck of the 80s?

Grant Brissey covered everything from hard news and technology, to music, film, and visual arts during his time working for The Stranger. Grant's work has also appeared at Geekwire, and in Billboard,...