Dear Mr. Savage,
I am the “Bud Bundy,” “secret communiss,” “douchebag”or so called by your readers of the Nov 28 Youth Pastor Watch. I never heard of you until someone sent me a link to your blog featuring my face. I do wonder what inspired you to add me to the lineup (care to share?). As most of your readers concluded there is guilt-by-association implied. I laughed out loud at some of the comments… people never surprise me. After reviewing your blog I was reminded why I do what I do. I don’t know who hurt you in the past that made you feel empowered to only report evil things youth pastors do, but I forgive you for adding my face to your lineup. I hope you will keep watching what God does in my life and see that not every pastor is a homophobic, narrow-minded, right-wing freak. I love to help my gay friends learn about the life transforming love of Jesus for all sinners. I am happy to admit I am wrong, when I am. I also criticize my right-wing representatives when they drop the ball.
Maybe sometime you will pause long enough to listen and hear people for who they are rather than the box you assume they fit in. Though I have never been a sex offender I am a sinner like those other pastors and I need God’s forgiveness for my sin too. Have you ever counted how many times you have sinned against God? You may consider thinking about the consequences for your actions and repenting when you see the error of your ways. All I request is that you add a line in your “We Regret These Errors” article and apologize for implying that my conduct is as evil as the other men simply because I’m a youth pastor. I am not holding my breath but like I said people never surprise me.
Your fellow human,
Jonathan
Dear Jonathan,
I started including the odd—as in “occasional,” not “strange”—item about a youth pastor who did something right, or did something praiseworthy, or did something neutral, to offer some balance. You and a handful of other good, upstanding, decent youth pastors have appeared in YPW precisely so that all the posts aren’t “only… evil things youth pastors do.” Typically a “good” youth pastor makes it in because a story about him turned up on the same day as a story about a bad youth pastor. You’re not the first “good,” or neutral, youth pastor item to appear in YPW.
I started these YPW posts to make the point that, despite what you hear from religious folks, the simple fact that someone is publicly religious is no guarantee that he or she is a good, safe, trustworthy person. As a non-religious person myself, I get tired of being told that there is no morality without religion; it seems to me that there is tons of immorality out there with religion, from rapist youth pastors to jihadists flying airplanes into buildings. People have complained that my YPW posts weren’t fair: some youth pastors are good people! So… I started nodding toward that, toward the good ones, by watching good ones like you. There was no implication that your actions were evil. In fact, you’re in there to exonerate, by proxy, all your fellow “good” youth pastors everywhere.
No one dropped a church on my head when I was a child. But as a gay man I get sick of being lectured about morality by people who can’t seem to keep their co-religionists from raping kids. Funnily enough, I settled on youth pastors because I didn’t want the flow of posts to overwhelm the blog. When I was posting items about pastors—youth and otherwise—there was just too many stories. Focusing on youth pastors was meant to show a little restraint.
Finally, I’m sorry about the personal insults in the comments thread. Commenters on blogs can be real assholes. I get it in the teeth from ’em all the freakin’ time.
All the best,
Dan
P.S. Not homophobic? That’s terrific! Tell me: is my relationship—14 years with the same guy, one adopted kid (adopted at birth, 10 now, thriving)—a sin? Is it something that I need to repent for? Do you support marriage rights for your fellow human beings who happen to be gay? (Civil marriage rights, not religious marriage rites?) And do you support the right of same-sex couples to adopt children?
The other thing to note is that of COURSE the mainstream media thrives on conflict. Which means the reasonable, sensible, conciliatory voices of Christianity aren’t going to be heard. Becuase what’s more boring than a TV program where everyone agrees on decent behaviour towards each other?
i’m don’t really care one way or another about dan’s posts — but i think dan is being a little disingenuous to pretend he doesn’t think it makes the “good” or “neutral” youth pastor look bad. that kind of reminds me of slimy politics, like that stupid fox news guy asking, “what’s wrong with the obama the magic…” song. you feign ignorance because perhaps technically you are correct, even though the meaning of your words/actions are clear. since so many christians have made dan feel bad, dan doesn’t seem to feel bad about return the gesture to some other christian.
the problem is, that christian might be a “good” or “neutral” one, not deserving of that treatment (i have no idea if that particular guy falls into that category or not). and that is a little unfair. just like the comment about asking why christians let the bigots be their figureheads. well, they don’t. you can choose what group you belong to, and if you are not a member of that group, you have no say, no control, and no voice in their actions and proclamation. even if you are loosely associated, let’s say, you occasionally went to catholic church with your family, what power have you over what the pope says? would you want a picture taken of your entering church used to promote this or that agenda? it’s another case of holding a person accountable for something they may not represent, and likely have no control over.
finally, gay couples have the same rights as straight couples, and it’s about time we started recognizing them.