So says "Steele," creator of the website www.seattlesucks.com, a seven-month-old anti-Seattle website. Steele (whose name is a false moniker--and a ridiculous one at that) wanted to provide a forum for Seattle residents who disdain the Emerald City. Steele's website offers a fascinating glimpse into the id of our city's residents. We are a city of whiners, it seems, and many of us wish we lived elsewhere.
A relatively simple site, seattlesucks.com's chief component is its message forum, where Seattle's unhappy citizens can spew their venom. And spew they do, tackling everything from traffic to the weather to the local media, typing out rabid messages that tear down our city with glee. Messages range from the marginally witty ("PCC is overpriced pseudo-organic hippie trail mix for the yuppie set. Its primary customers are the SUV-driving- soccer-mom-do-gooders who feel bad about driving a gas-guzzler so they figure a bag of oats and some organic corn will make up for it."--JFRY), to the outright inane ("The Stranger rocks! It's better reporting than you generally get from the Times or the P-I."--SeattleLance), but most share a common message: Fuck this place. A sampling:
"Putting in sidewalks in Greenwood apparently is such an ordeal that the city can't manage to do that, so it's hard to imagine them constructing a rail system, like, oh, I don't know, Portland has done and SF and even LA. No, I think if we get the sidewalks in, that'll be a miracle."--Mandy
"The wannabe hipsters of Cap. Hill are a joke. They look like NYers (actually hip) did 5 years ago. They are clueless."--TreesAreGay
"Seattle has a lot of history. Some good and some bad. Of course this is 'seattlesucks.com' so I will go with the bad...."--Michael Presley
Why so much disdain for Seattle? The chief complaint, usually from residents who have come here from elsewhere, is that Seattle is not a real city. It is too small, and there's not enough to do. That's not all, of course. At seattlesucks.com you can read complaints about horrendous traffic, idiotic drivers, arcane liquor laws, polite-yet-standoffish-residents, Seahawks Stadium (and the team that resides there), Safeco Field (ditto), Sound Transit, the Monorail, Tim Eyman, the Seattle Times, the Seattle P-I, Seattle Weekly, The Stranger (SeattleLance notwithstanding), KOMO 4, KING 5, KIRO 7, Q-13, rainfall, lack of sun, lack of snow, hipsters, poseurs, the music scene, women, men, SUV drivers, bicyclists--the list goes on and on. And while many of these complaints can be tossed at a number of different cities (what city doesn't have lame local TV news?), the sheer nastiness on display at seattlesucks.com is fairly spectacular. Indeed, a large number of people hate, hate, hate Seattle--and it is real hate, not love/hate (Jean Godden please take note).
"I kind of like to think of it as a pro-Seattle site," Steele claims, half joking. His reasoning: Criticism is necessary, especially now that Seattle has squandered its chance to become a world-class city (if it ever had one). "I feel like we missed our chance to become great," Steele says. "In the '90s there was so much money and media attention and we wasted it. Now it's gone. Seattle is over." A lifelong resident, Steele now looks at the city and sees what many of us do: humiliation. The dot-com debacle ended, Boeing vacated, the Mariners imploded--our once-promising hamlet has been spanked down. And it was out of this humiliation that seattlesucks.com was born.
Steele's website is still young and relatively undiscovered; it was mentioned in a Los Angeles Times story bashing Seattle, but our boosterish daily papers have ignored seattlesucks.com. Currently the site is hampered by much flaming within a small group of regular visitors, along with the expected childish rants often associated with web boards. (One moron, who posts under the name "Mikey," complains ad nauseam that Seattle women are ugly and cold, apparently because he can't get laid.) But with over 3,000 posted messages, the kernel is there for an engaging, entertaining, and enlightening public forum.