Dear Christopher,

I’ve let you down, obviously. You gave me the new Dave Eggers novel months ago so I could review it. Then I missed your deadline, the publication date, the reading. You had to let another writer review it. I understand. It’s my own fault.

I had planned to write a rejoinder to all the insufferable Eggers haters out there still clinging to late-’90s resentments, unwilling to admit that he was and is a fantastically talented writer, over and above his superliterary pursuits (which I also admire). I’ve wanted to write this piece for years. Unfortunately, to do so would’ve meant reading the book, and I just don’t have time right now. I read the first few pages (intriguing!), and carried it with me everywhere, uncontinued, for months. The edges are so brown and flappy—it looks like I’ve read it a dozen times. But that’s no consolation. Reading is hard to budget with movies (I particularly liked Old Joy), music (the new Sloan is surprisingly good), and social life. I barely have time for Anthony Lane every fortnight. I’ll get to the Eggers, I promise. It’s not going anywhere; it’s a book. What, if you’ll forgive my paraphrase, is the rush?

Contritely,

Sean

P.S. I know this isn’t the time, but what are your plans for the new Martin Amis?

Sean Nelson has worked at The Stranger on and off since 1996. He is currently Editor-at-Large. His past job titles included: Assistant Editor, Associate Editor, Film Editor, Copy Editor, Web Editor, Slog...