THURSDAY MAY 2


John Grade

(SCULPTURE) There's a kind of sculpture that has an inflated sense of its own permanence, or a kind of fake monumentality, as if that whole ars longa, vita brevis thing had to be proved time and time again. There's nothing wrong with this, except that it results in a lot of work that feels like a stuffy relative who has no idea how stuffy he is. What makes Grade so good is that he's as interested in decay and its possibilities as he is in immortality (his last show featured sculpture that involved the participation of termites in its own destruction), which gives his work human scale and duration as well as the chill of death. Would-be Goths take note. (Opening reception tonight, 6-8 pm, Davidson Galleries, 313 Occidental Ave S, 624-7684.) EMILY HALL


FRIDAY MAY 3


Belles Bloom, A Spring Ballet

(CABARET SPECTACLE) It's like going over to the home of your cousins--slightly older girls for whom you had strange feelings you couldn't yet articulate--and they put on a performance in their bedroom, something that disturbs and titillates, something that springs from the pure female id. That's the enticing Rollvulvas. Their choreographic spectacles--including an erotic duet for a she-boar and a donkey, a nocturne for batlike insects, and Aqua-Vulva (the mutant offspring of Busby Berkeley and Mrs. Peel)--are accompanied by the lurid tales of Richard LeFebvre, the glorious design of Curtis Taylor, and two superb live musicians, one of them in lederhosen. (The Jewel Box Theater at the Rendezvous Tavern, 2320 Second Ave, 441-5823. $13 day of show, $11 in advance. Thurs-Sat at 9 pm.) BRET FETZER


SATURDAY MAY 4


George Clinton & Parliament/Funkadelic

(MUSIC) "I wish Clinton were the president."

"What, you want Bill Clinton to be the president?"

"No, fool, I mean George Clinton." Indeed, George Clinton should be our president. But that is another matter for another day (or dimension). What's important is George Clinton is coming to town. The performance he gave 10 years ago during Bumbershoot at what is now the KeyArena is legendary. I doubt this EMP performance will measure up, but George Clinton is bound to raise the roof off the mother. (EMP Sky Church, 770-2702, 8 pm, $30.) CHARLES MUDEDE


SUNDAY MAY 5


Spider-Man

(MOVIE) Elsewhere in this issue, Stranger News Editor Josh Feit argues that the upcoming Spider-Man movie will be too shiny-bright, too summer-blockbuster, and too goody-goody to do the source material justice. (See page 27.) The demands of the summer blockbuster genre will obliterate everything compelling about the character of Spider-Man, Feit grouses. But Feit overlooks one significant aspect of Spider-Man, the new movie starring Tobey Maguire that opens this week: Tobey Maguire's stomach. Ask anyone who has seen the trailer and they'll tell you that the brief glimpse of Maguire's naked torso--with his newly acquired abs--has made Spider-Man the must-see film of the summer for... well, for me. To hell with the comic-book version of Peter Parker and all of his namby-pamby "existential dilemmas." Red-blooded American fags (and our female heterosexual pals) will be piling into movie theaters to ogle the best-looking man in tights to grace the silver screen since Mikhail Baryshnikov in White Nights. (Opens Fri May 3 at various theaters.) DAN SAVAGE


MONDAY MAY 6


The Catheters

(MUSIC) Every time I hear the Catheters ream a cynical fist up punk's ass, it makes me wanna blacken the eyes of all the ugly, scarred souls they describe. The recklessly violent streak in the band's dark aggression is their shining star, burning a bright rage that only intensifies the louder you turn it up. This is excellent punch-holes-though-the-plaster rock 'n' roll, whether or not you plan on enduring the physical bruises. (Graceland, 109 Eastlake Ave E, $10.) JENNIFER MAERZ


TUESDAY MAY 7


The Frontier Room

(RESTAURANT OPENING) Before it closed last year, the beloved Frontier Room was a greasy spoon and crusty dive where one could find solace and integrity on a stretch of Belltown overrun with yuppies and their pink drinks. It will always be missed. But tonight, the new Frontier Room gets a facelift and is reborn as a restaurant, bar, and takeout window (yay!) serving Southern cuisine and Louisiana barbeque. Chef and Louisiana native Paul Michael's specialties include pulled pork sandwiches, baby back and St. Louis ribs, smoked organic chicken, sweet potatoes, cole slaw, corn bread, cobblers, and Louisiana bread pudding. I can't wait to try it all--meats cooked in pits and slow-roasted anything have never let me down. (2203 First Ave at Blanchard, 956-RIBS.) MIN LIAO


WEDNESDAY MAY 8


Henry Louis Gates Jr.

(READING) Every time Henry Louis Gates, Jr. comes to Seattle I recommend him because he is famous and intelligent, and never gets tangled up in the kind of ridiculous controversies that dog his friend/colleague Cornel West. Gates seems to spend most of his time actually writing books, doing new research, and pursuing scholarly and journalistic things. Tonight, Gates presents and discusses an obscure 19th-century manuscript called The Bondwoman's Narrative, which he bought for cheap at an auction some years ago. Even if the subject is a bit dry, just remember that Gates is a superstar. (Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600, 7:30 pm, free.) CHARLES MUDEDE