THURSDAY 5/11

Welcome, FCS North

(LIVE MUSIC) We hate to say we told you so… oh, who are we kidding? We LOVE to say we told you so, and this show is a perfect chance to do just that. Welcome and FCS North, both members of the elite cadre of local bands known as the Excellent Interviewees (think of it as kind of like Playboy Bunnies, but without the funny ear-thingies), are playing together at the Crocodile tonight and the show promises to drop your jaw. Welcome are gaining momentum after the release of their phenomenal Sun as Night Light (RX Remedy), and FCS North boast a drummer who’s as quick and sharp as a drum machine, but hits harder and with personality. If it sounds like an odd couple, don’t worry: Good music always makes itself at home. ERIN FRANZMAN

Crocodile, 2200 Second Ave, 441-5611, 9 pm, $6.

Pizzazz!

(TALENT SHOW) It’s finally here, The Stranger‘s first annual city-wide talent show, hosted by our own David Schmader, and with a special guest appearance by Miss Dina Martina. Don’t miss a minute of the action as Seattle’s most talented citizens — or at least those sober enough to make it to the audition — work it out onstage for our panel of judges (including Q-13’s Leslie Miller, Fastback Kim Warnick, and a real live court judge), and a crack at a fabulous grand prize. It’ll be just like Star Search, if Star Search had ever pitted a tuba player in a bunny suit against a transsexual Elvis impersonator. JASON PAGANO

Consolidated Works, 410 Terry Ave N, 381-3218, 7 pm, $10.

Jet Lag

(PERFORMANCE ART) It’s easy to be burned by acclaimed performance art out of New York — sometimes the work is so hip and “inside” it fails to be about anything — but Jet Lag looks promising. Created by innovative troupe the Builders Association in collaboration with award-winning architectural firm Diller + Scofidio, Jet Lag investigates two true stories: one about a fictionalized, round-the-world yacht trip, and another about a woman trying to maintain custody of her grandson by making 167 consecutive flights between NYC and Amsterdam, while never leaving the airports. If the Builders Association rises to the challenge of the material, this could really be something; if it doesn’t, well, the design looks spectacularly pretty. BRET FETZER

On the Boards, 100 W Roy St, 217-9888. Thurs-Sun May 11-14, 8 pm, $18 (Thurs, Sun), $20 (Fri, Sat).

FRIDAY 5/12

Watusi

(THEATER) Seattle writer (and former Stranger editor) S. P. Miskowski’s last play, La Valse, turned the story of Camille Claudel, her brother Paul, and Auguste Rodin into narrative origami, folding in on itself with deft delight, without losing sight of the characters as passionate human beings. Watusi follows Marty, a 13-year-old girl living in the suburbs of 1965 Decatur, GA, as she tries to live with her boozy parents and wanton sisters. Expect more than the usual Southern family drama — Miskowski is smart, incisive, and unsentimental; it’s no surprise that half the theaters in town have produced her work. BRET FETZER

Richard Hugo House, 1634 11th Ave, 781-0022. Thurs-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 7 pm, through June 4, $12.50.

SATURDAY 5/13

Million Mom March

(DEMONSTRATION) Depending on who your mother is, you’re thinking one of two things right now: (1) Awww… this sounds like the sweetest, most heartwarming pre-Mother’s Day event EVER; or (2) A bunch of moms assembled in one spot? What a fucking nightmare! Well, shove your shitty childhoods aside for just one afternoon! Seattle’s dedicated moms will be the first group out of many other planned Million Mom Marches (or “national demonstrations”) to raise awareness about gun violence and rally Congress and the public for gun control legislation. Show the rest of the country how dedicated you are to strict gun laws… and be on your best behavior! You weren’t raised by wolves! MIN LIAO

Seattle Center, 1-3 pm, followed by a march to Westlake Center, free. Call 888-989-MOMS or visit www.millionmommarch.com for details.

Sean Vale

(ART) The buzz of fluorescent lights, the low hum of an electric typewriter, and 18 small white panels. This is Sean Vale‘s “type,” an installation as much about looking at minimalist art as it is about the art itself. It’s like watching static snow on television, and beginning to discern patterns and cycles in it. On close observation in the white-noise environment, you realize that each of Vale’s panels is utterly different from the next. One has a grid etched over the surface, another has an extra length of wood attached, another has a piece of tarlatan embedded in the paint. The longer you look, the more manifest the variations, the more lovely the austerity. EMILY HALL

Pound Gallery, 1216 10th Ave, 323-0557. Open Sat noon-4 pm, Sun noon-3 pm, or by appointment. Through May 28.

SUNDAY 5/14

The Trial

(FILM) Orson Welles directed this irreverent, stark, black-and-white treatment of Kafka’s classic novel in 1962. In the intervening years, its star has risen from the doldrums of dismissal to the heights of adulation, where it belongs. Anthony Perkins is the perfect Joseph K., a gangly scarecrow of sexual frustration, verbal tics, and thwarted innocence. Jeanne Moreau and Romy Schneider play the women who tempt and taunt him, and Welles himself plays the corpulent Advocate, a steaming morass of double-talk and sweaty flesh. Skies are slate grey, paranoia lurks around every vertiginous corner, and massive halls are crammed full of innumerable proletarian clerks droning away at unnamed tasks. Did I mention it’s hilarious? A sparkling new print attends this re-release — a nice counterweight to the hundreds of crappy public domain videotapes in circulation. Do not miss this unsung classic. SEAN NELSON

Varsity, 4329 University Way NE, 632-3131, Fri-Tues May 12-16 at (Sat-Sun 2), 4:30, 7, 9:30 pm, $7.50.

MONDAY 5/15

International Children’s Festival

(FESTIVAL) More and more of you suddenly have small creatures in your homes, similar yet strangely unlike yourself, with constant, perverse, insatiable cravings. Divert the little fiends with what is truly the most international festival of live performance in town. Forget Bumbershoot; the Children’s Festival features work from almost every continent — dance from Rwanda, the Philippines, the Lakota Nation, and Seattle; stunning puppetry from Japan, Vietnam, and Germany; music from Mali, Morocco, Israel, and India; theater from Seattle, Germany, Chile, and Denmark; and an inflatable labyrinth from England. The only reason it’s a children’s festival is because only children have the imaginative bandwidth to take it all in. BRET FETZER

Seattle Center and other venues, 684-7346. Performance dates, times, and prices vary. Mon-Sat May 15-20 only.

TUESDAY 5/16

The Lifestyle

(FILM) This film shows what no Hollywood feature would dare: average Americans having sex. Not a pretty sight (they’re not attractive; they’re not in their 20s; they’re not HWP), but it sure is fun. Welcome to the world of swingers, those over-40 empty-nesters who discreetly hold mixers in order to swap partners. Like any subculture, they have their own conventions and their own crazy rules (female bisexuals are g-r-r-r-eat, but male bisexuals would be asked to leave). If you’ve ever wondered what happens to folks who place ads in The Stranger‘s Alternatives personals, this is the film for you. GILLIAN G. GAAR

Grand Illusion, NE 50th St & University Way NE, 523-3935, Fri-Thurs May 12-18 at (Sat-Sun 3), 5, 7, 9 pm, $4.50/$7.

Shifting Ground

(ART) I kinda dissed its curation in my review of long ago, but you really should get out to the Henry and see this show, subtitled Transformed Views of the American Landscape, which traces the submerged and overt politics of American landscape art through a couple centuries’ worth of art-making. If you’d like to know more about this once-sleepy, now crucial genre of visual art (and you’d be surprised how important that is: A co-worker was recently asked by a potential date who her favorite landscape artist was, and knew if she answered Ansel Adams or Georgia O’Keefe she’d be consigned to the realm of the dateless) you couldn’t ask for a better brush-up than to check out this show. ERIC FREDERICKSEN

Henry Art Gallery, 15th Ave NE at NE 41st St, 543-2280, www.henryart.org. Tues-Wed & Fri-Sun 11 am-5 pm, Thurs 11 am-8 pm, closed Mon. Through Aug 20. $5.

WEDNESDAY 5/17

Kathryn Harrison

(READING) “Shocking” memoirist Kathryn Harrison has been in the papers for her dark side, and her new novel, The Binding Chair; or, a Visit from the Foot Emancipation Society, won’t bring her any sweetness and light. Complex as a dust web, The Binding Chair is set in late 19th century Shanghai, and follows two very atypical female characters: a Chinese ex-prostitute who cannot walk on her own, and her rebellious niece. Absorbing, creepy, and fastidiously rendered, Harrison’s novel is the perfect wintry antidote to expectations of spring. TRACI VOGEL

University Book Store, 4326 University Way NE, 634-3400, 7 pm, free.