Dear Paul,
God, I fucking hate open letters. Some asshole writes something, addresses you in the first person, tosses it up somewhere, and you’re somehow obligated to drop whatever you’re doing and respond. I’ve made it a policy never to take the bait, Paul, because responding to one asshole’s open letter means getting open letters from two dozen other assholes.
And fuck that, right?
But I’m writing you an open letter, Paul, because I’m an asshole, I guess. And because there’s something I’ve wanted to say to you for 20 years, and I didn’t run into you the one time I went to Seahawks game, and the thing I’ve been wanting to say to your face all these years is suddenly relevant.
You really fucked up the Seattle Commons. But here’s the good news, Paul: You have a chance to redeem yourself.