CYCLOPS CENTRAL: Move over, Belltown Billiards -- this week all the baby celebs are wining and dining at the Cyclops Cafe! Spotted Fri 11/5 was hotty-hot Q13 weatherstud Jim Castillo, looking VERY buff in a tighty-tight T-shirt. (On the Q13 website JC lists "working out" among his hobbies!) A nosy fellow diner notes, "JC's 'pec-tacularness' was matched only by that of his male companion!" Who says they don't serve six-packs at the Cyclops? ··· Stopping by the 'clops for a spot of brunch Sun 11/7 was Pearl Jam bassist/ freaky dude Jeff Ament -- and on his arm was "something brunette, wispy, and female" (NOT Heidi Wills). Later, the glamorous pair popped into the Meridian for a matinee. ··· On Sun 11/7 Mo had a tasty political discussion at the Cyclops with bass-playing punk activist Krist Novoselic -- seems Krist voted against I-695! I know!

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THE GAYEST GUY ON TV -- no, NOT Tony Ventrella! -- was in town last week: none other than fag-o-riffic interior designer Christopher Lowell of the Discovery Channel! "Señor Mike" sighted Christopher Thurs 11/4 at the preview for the Seattle Antiquities Show, where the splashy TV personality was guest of honor... or is it Queen for a Day? Mike notes, "Christopher looked dapper in his slimming black suit and deep dark tan, and was surrounded by a veritable hen party of drooling gals, all chatting merrily about do-it-yourself interior design!" Sadly, La Lowell broke some of his groupies' hearts when he left early -- c'mon, he needs his beauty rest!

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WHO INVITED YOU? What the hell was straitlaced City Attorney Mark Sidran doing in Pioneer Square... and in a BAR!? Shutting it down, maybe? Nope -- he was trying to slime his way into the Tues 11/3 victory party for perky city council nymph Heidi Wills! Just minutes after Darth Sidran showed up -- uninvited! -- at the Merchants' Cafe, there was a widdle teeny accident. OOPS! Somebody spilled almost an entire pitcher of beer down his snooty Armani suit! The city attorney was ALL WET -- and he stumbled out onto the mean streets of Pioneer Square muttering to himself and stinkin' like a brewery! Sounds like an arrestable offense to me! ··· Meantime, I hear lovable Mayor Schell had such a good time at Heidi's party, he tripped going out the door and nearly fell on his can!

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POOR RON! He was just doin' his civic duty Sat 11/6 as a celebrity caller at Gay Bingo, but Q13 reporter Ron Corning got roasted by trampy drag queen Chocha Fresca! Ron -- looking "quite nice in well-worn jeans and a crisp Oxford shirt" -- got raked over the coals in front of 500 people! C'mon, Chocha: Ron's a sensitive flower! His college major was RELIGION, for Pete's sake! ··· Ronnie -- always a good sport -- recovered nicely, thank goodness. Why, the very next day, Sun 11/7, RC was spotted strolling on N 45th in Wallingford, where one admirer was heartbroken to witness the Q13 Qtie sharing some "PDAs" -- Public Displays of Affection, oh yes -- with his significant other (NOT his Mom, duh!). ··· With a little luck, The Stranger just might get handsome Ron to make a special guest appearance at our Arena of Brains benefit, Thurs 11/18 at the Crocodile! The Stranger would NEVER embarrass a nice TV newsman like Ronnie by making him, oh, say, RAP... or would we?

Kisses! shirley@thestranger.com