GOOD MANNERS! He won't win an award for "Best Hairdo" or "Most Obsequious Businessman," but dashing gazillionaire Bill Gates won the hearts of the National League of Junior Cotillions. (It's not a drag queen organization, but damn, it should be!) Last week they enthroned Bill at the tippy-top of their "Ten Best-Mannered People of 1999" list! And my, he's in good company: Tom Hanks, Wayne Gretzky, Celine Dion -- wait! Aw... you're pulling my leg, aren't you? Ha! Ha!
* * *
BAAAAAD MANNERS! On stormy Tues 11/30, the governor's wife, Mona Lee Locke, was about as far away from the riff-raff as one can get. She was hanging out at an unnamed store in (sniff) University Village, where I'm told she purchased several lovely ceramic fortune cookies. But leave it to stingy Mona to ASK FOR A DISCOUNT because she was buying more than one! Geez, Mona, how many ceramic fortune cookies do you need, anyway? ··· Incidentally, I hear that several years ago, our state's First Lady signed up for the bridal registry at a certain fancy-pants store -- and it wasn't until a full year and a half after her wedding that Mrs. Locke returned their gifts! "We had so many gifts, it's taken us this long to get through them!" Mona whined. I know, dear, it's tough.
* * *
WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY, and what happened to Ron? I see that the co-hosts have been selected for KCPQ 13's Mornings Live on Q, set to debut in January... and Ron Corning's not one of them! Petite dynamo (she kickboxes!) Christine Chen will be sharing the duties with Sam Shane, one of Q13 news director Todd Mokhtari's buds from the old days in Sacramento. According to television expert Wm.™ Steven Humphrey, compared to the rest of the Q13 Q-ties, Sam is a bit "long in the tooth."
* * *
IN YOUR FACE!! So I was visiting my super-duper hairdresser, Michael, at his new digs in a hoity-toity little retail complex in Madison Valley. Anyway, the teeny parking lot is bustling with fancy Saabs, Beemers, and SUVs all squeezed in and jockeying for position -- but yours truly, in her humble Saturn, scores the last space in the lot! Oops -- the red Volvo station wagon behind me is out of luck. Or maybe not! Herr Volvo shamelessly double-parks behind a shiny new Ford Expedition, and the driver pops out. It's distinguished Aleve pitchman Tom Skerritt! The parking-deprived Skerritt frantically trotted into the Arosa cafe -- where, Michael tells me, they make "the best mochas! Yum!"
* * *
A SUPPOSEDLY FUCKING HILARIOUS RADIO SHOW -- locally produced -- just sent me a press release. It's Shaken, Not Stirred, hosted by Johnny Seattle and Scotty Crane. Seems these smart-asses took advantage of the wasteland known as KQBZ "The Buzz" 100.7, nabbing a Sat 9 pm slot there. It's disappointing to see there are no girls in the cast except Scotty's mom and a (yawn) prostitute. Though Scotty -- who I recognize from Ballard's hot and heavy metal scene -- kind of looks like a girl, so it might be okay. I haven't yet heard Shaken, but I'll report back when I do.
Happy Birthday to me!