Think about it: You can visit a drafty, moldy library and read some stupid book about Cleopatra -- or you can watch this show, which actually improves on history by adding robots, skimpy outfits, and ass-burning laser beams. According to Cleopatra 2525, the 25th century has both its high and low points: The low points include the entire human race being forced underground by a bunch of mutant bungholes and their evil killer robots; while the high spots involve everybody knowing kung fu and having really hot bodies, as well as clothes that accentuate both the cleavage and the bulge.
Two of the sexier freedom fighters, Hel (the hottie leader who receives communications through an implant in her jaw) and Sarge (the hottie combat expert who loves kicking robots right in the bucket of nuts), are fighting a particularly nasty cyborg when they stumble on an old cryogenics lab where they find Cleopatra (a 20th-century stripper -- YEAH!!!) frozen like a bag of peas. See, back in 2001, Cleopatra had lapsed into a coma during a cosmetic boob job (again, YEAH!!!), so the plastic surgeon decided the best course of action would be to turn her into a juicy Popsicle for a few centuries. (Okay... that sounds like something a plastic surgeon would do....)
Using tried scientific and homoerotic methods, the two warriors rouse Cleopatra from her centuries-long nap, and in exchange for reviving her, she helps them kill robots while teaching the finer points of dressing well and, of course, performing lap dances. Together they are the ultimate fighting team: dedicated to reclaiming the surface for the human race, destroying the invading mutants, and humping the occasional handsome robot (Well, I mean, c'mon... sistahs in the future need a little somethin' somethin' just like you and me!).
Okay. So maybe this Cleopatra has scant little to do with the actual Cleopatra who lived around 5 B.C. and was married to Richard Burton. HOWEVER! Perhaps this series will spawn a whole new slew of terrific and sexy "historical figures in the future" shows. Like maybe Abraham Lincoln EXTREME!!, wherein old Abe is transported to a modern day beach where he's a buff lifeguard. And maybe he can walk around without a shirt, ride skateboards, and engage in other "extreme" sports. And he can say things like, "If this was four score and seven years ago, I'd bust a cap in your ass, yo!"
Or picture this: Susan B. Anthony in the 23rd Century!. In the future, men have been replaced by talking monkeys -- but they're still dicks! Therefore, it's up to the young, hot great-great-great-granddaughter of Susan B. Anthony to rescue womankind from the clutches of these macho, horny apes, and restore their right to vote! See, folks? History can be fun! (Stay tuned for even more fun shows, like Wyatt Earp: Space Cowboy and Lizzie Borden and Her Anti-Gravity Ax.)
