FRAT BOY McCAUGHEY (it rhymes!): Anne wrote to clarify that the "frat boys" spotted with R.E.M.'s Peter Buck at the Hurricane Cafe were perennial Seattle rocker Scott "Septuplet" McCaughey and novelist Mark Lindquist -- hardly frat material! Anne scoffs, "You gotta get some new sources!" Sweetheart, I'd be nothing without unreliable sources!

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GASTOWN GASBAG: Duffy was TRYING to enjoy a nice dinner at Vancouver, B.C.'s Water Street Cafe Sun 1/30 -- but actor John Heard was making life miserable for everyone! She reports, "First he leers at us like a total psycho, then waddles around the cafe with his shoes off, demanding they change the music from Billie Holiday to Annie Lennox. He hit on the waitress a million times and bitched about his salad. He was loud and obnoxious, and every other word was 'actor,' 'the theater,' or 'movie.'" Duffy adds, "If Mr. Heard reads this, all I have to say to him is, 'Shut the fuck up, you insufferable ass!'"

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WHERE WAS NEIL? At the base of the Space Needle, Mike spotted aged music legend David "I sired Melissa Etheridge's child" Crosby Mon 1/31 talking to a valet. The chubby, cheerful Dale Chihuly of Rock was with his wife, asking where Fantasia was playing. 路路路 Around the same time, R sighted Mr. Stills and Mr. Nash coming out of a movie at Meridian 16 (The Hurricane, maybe?).

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SHOPPING! Ramtha disciple Linda Evans was back in town Sat 2/5... SHOPPING! AGAIN! This time the old blonde didn't bring freaky-fresh psychic JZ Knight, though -- she was arm-in-arm with country music diva Reba McEntire! 路路路 Thurs 2/3 at an unnamed granola emporium, a confused gent needed help purchasing an array of "natural" items for the sultry Morrissey. His list included peppermint oil and rice milk, but most interesting were two homeopathic remedies: argentum nitricum -- recommended for "apprehension and stage fright with agitation" -- and arenicum album, for "diarrhea with frequent and burning stools." Which has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the following story. REALLY.

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A NIGHT TO REMEMBER: I got a sweet note from Jeff, who waited on Morrissey's gang at Elephant & Castle -- and he wants to set the record straight! First, of course they recognized Morrissey! DUH! Jeff was totally nervous and crushed-out, but waitered like a pro. The band's reported "free nachos," along with loads of veggie food, were bought and paid for -- though Jeff contributed a round of drinks -- and the boys left "a spiffy little tip." The band hung out, played billiards, and came back later in the week. Best of all, Jeff sez, "My bf and I had a nice chat with Mr. Morrissey ALL BY OURSELVES -- and we even snagged spots on the Paramount guest list. All in all, an experience I'll never forget... and by the way? I'd do him, too!"

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CONDOLENCES to those mourning Craig & Paul, Monte & Colleen, Ryan & Abigail, Stanford, Deborah, and too many others lost on Flight 261. Seattle won't be the same without them.

shirley@thestranger.com