SORRY, THAT'S NOT ALLOWED! Drowning Mona was just letting out at Pacific Place Cinemas, and the staff nearly peed themselves when a naughty couple tried to sneak into a neighboring theater WITHOUT PAYING! Oh, they think they're so big, just because they're Hollywood's hottest couple -- Edward Norton and Salma Hayek! The two hopped next door long enough for Eddie to see the trailer for his new movie, Keeping the Faith (also starring hottie Ben Stiller). Consensus is that Salma's "very do-able!" -- sure, but can she act? The sexy señorita's up for a Golden Raspberry Award for Worst Supporting Actress, for her misdeeds in 1999's Dogma, as well as Wild Wild West. We'll know if she won come March 26.
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STRING CHEESE FOR MORGAN: Spotted backstage at the String Cheese Incident/Tiny Universe show, Sat 3/11 at the Paramount: heavy-hitting actor Morgan Freeman! Friendly Freeman insisted folks call him Morgan. Morg (I call him Morg) was down from Vancouver, where he's shooting suspense thriller Along Came a Spider with director Lee Tamahori (Once Were Warriors, etc.), whom Morg brought south for the party. Scuttlebutt has it that Morg's son was among the musicians -- but nope! Alfonso Freeman's a chip off the old block -- an actor with credits in Shawshank Redemption (starring Morg) and Seven (ditto). So maybe Al's in Spider, too?
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BUFFY DUST-UP: Seems NO ONE wants to believe that Sarah Michelle Gellar was spotted in Vegas making kissy-face with Freddie Prinze Jr., as a reader claims. One jealous gal insists that Prinze is Jennifer Love Hewitt's property -- getcher paws off, Buffy! Fortunately, the Buffy/Freddie gossip from eonline.com's Ted Casablanca agrees with mine (and Ted's gossip is top shelf!). He even links Hewitt with Wilmer Valderrama, of That '70s Show. The main point of contention is that Buffy was said to be "tall," which she ain't. She's 5'3", and 58 1/2 lbs., as is Ms. Hewitt.
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SOMEBODY'S LAUGHING, and it's not Ken Schram! He denies up and down that he has EVER gotten his fabulous freak on at Capitol Hill's most outrageous nightspot, as reported last week. Ken gasps demurely, "Oh, my! Have on occasion considered going to the Vogue. Alas, never been there. Were I to go, appearing with three younger brunette gals certainly has appeal. The midnight hour does indeed leave me looking as worn out as I look on TV, which -- as you know -- is pretty damn worn out! It's one of the reasons I rarely venture out after 9 pm!! Though I may have to chance it -- if Monte's pole dance can be counted on for a repeat performance!" C'mon Ken, who am I supposed to believe, my devoted readers or a respected KOMO newsman WITH EVERYTHING TO LOSE?! I rest my case.
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MEANWHILE, IN FREMONT: Q13's cutest couple, icy blonde anchor Leslie Miller and sports hunk Dan Devone indulged their sweet teeth at Simply Desserts! As Dan chowed the Orange Pumpkin Cake (what the hell color is it s'posed to be?), Les nibbled at her Lemon Sour Cheesecake. (Ouch! That metaphor... so perfect... I think I'm gonna... CRY!)