We all know that there are empty beds in Seattle's homeless shelters every night. The habitually drunken and stoned don't want to abide by the rules of the establishment. I, for one, am tired of being accosted several times a day by someone who has shit his pants, or wants a quarter to buy his smack, or has shit/vomited all over the bus during the Free Ride Zone.

What has happened to our society? Enough is enough!

So this is what I suggest: Just kill them. A few death squads, composed primarily of off-duty police and other volunteers, armed with silenced .22 pistols, can don ski masks--and in a few hours, load up dump trucks and provide feed for fish, soap plants, or animal shelters.

Between 3:00 and 5:00 a.m. would be best. I guarantee an immediate improvement in the atmosphere of our fair city. Repeat as needed.

In your hearts, you know I'm right.