Remember that Weezer concert? You were sitting in section 122 and I was right in front of you. You spent the entire Tenacious D set talking shit; screaming "Go back to the movies!" and other shit like that. Well, guess what, asshole? I like Tenacious D. So when you, your buddies, and your girlfriends went up to get snacks, I hocked a loogie right onto your seat. And everybody else around us laughed and clapped, because they all agreed with me that you were an asshole. When you got back, one of you dumbshits sat right down in my fuckin' spit! I can't believe you didn't notice it! So if you or one of your friends noticed that they had a wet ass, I'm the reason why.

P.S. Fuck you and the fucking "Sweater Song." You both fucking suck.