The week kicks off with a fascinatingly garish child support case from fascinatingly garish Los Angeles. Today the Los Angeles Times reported on the 33-page settlement request filed by Lisa Bonder Kerkorian, former wife of billionaire Kirk Kerkorian, asking for a record-breaking $320,000 a month in child support for the pair's three-year-old daughter. For those out of the billionaire loop, Kirk Kerkorian, 84, is the self-made casino mogul worth an estimated $6.4 billion. For those out of the washed-up tennis player loop, Lisa Bonder Kerkorian, 36, is a former tennis player who once ranked seventh on the pro circuit. And for those out of the high-society infant loop, their daughter is the little girl who, according to her mother's court filing, requires more than a quarter-million dollars a month to live, including $144,000 for travel, $14,000 for parties and play dates, $7,000 for charity, $1,400 for laundry and cleaning, $1,000 for toys, videos, and books, and $436 for the care of her pet bunny. "In all our discussions, the word 'needs' never meant basic needs," says Lisa Kerkorian, "but what was required to maintain [our daughter] with all the things and benefits befitting the daughter of Kirk Kerkorian." The money-grubbing ex-Mrs. Kerkorian shouldn't worry too much: Even if her inflated request is rejected, a prenuptial pact guarantees her a still record-breaking $35,000 a month in child support.
TUESDAY, JANUARY 15
Speaking of marriage gone wrong, today the Telegraph U.K. told the beguiling tale of the elderly English newlyweds whose first anniversary was irrevocably ruined by an argument, a pillow, and a sand-filled sock. Here's the story: To celebrate their first anniversary, Frederick Doughty, 71, and his newish wife, Valerie, 72, made a weekend getaway to Portsmouth. Things quickly turned snippy as a breakfast-time argument, in which Mr. Doughty claimed that no one could make better scrambled eggs than his first wife, simmered throughout the day. At dinner, Mr. Doughty drank two lemon vodkas and Mrs. Doughty two glasses of sherry--and in the evening, all Hell broke loose. While discussing going outside to view the sunset, the tipsy oldsters got into "a little row" over the size of one of Mr. Doughty's daughters. Unable to contain himself, Mr. Doughty picked up a sand-filled sock--used as a doorstop in the couple's home, which Doughty claims he packed "by mistake"--and struck Mrs. Doughty, knocking her to the bed, then suffocating her with a pillow. "It was a silly argument that got out of hand," Mr. Doughty told Portsmouth authorities, confessing that he'd "murdered the dearest thing in [his] life in a fit of temper." (When asked by the hotel manager if there was anything he needed while waiting for police, Doughty replied, "Arsenic.") Despite his well-documented remorse, Mr. Doughty has pleaded not guilty in his ongoing murder trial.
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 16
Today brought news of the most historically unfortunate mistake since the German chancellor accidentally extinguished the memorial flame during a ceremony at the Israeli Holocaust monument back in November 2000. Today's gargantuan gaffe comes from Lauderhill, Florida, where a plaque intended to honor actor James Earl Jones at a Florida celebration of the life of Martin Luther King Jr. instead paid tribute to James Earl Ray, the man who assassinated Dr. King in 1968. Reuters provided the grisly details: Over a background of stamps featuring famous black Americans (including King), the erroneous plaque read, "Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive." "We were very upset," said Gerald Wilcox, the city employee who ordered the plaque. Wilcox says the plaque's manufacturer, Texas-based Merit Industries, received clear instructions that the message was for James Earl Jones, the Tony Award-winning actor, not James Earl Ray, the visionary-killing sicko. "We in no way meant any disrespect," said Herbert Miller, owner of Merit Industries, who has characterized the flub as "a typographical error." May the Lord have mercy on his soul.
THURSDAY, JANUARY 17
Hot on the heels of Tuesday's sand-filled sock slaying comes another tale of marriage gone wrong, this one from Bochum, Germany, where a murder trial full of devil worship, vampirism, and good old-fashioned killing has captured the hearts and minds of the nation. Today the U.K. daily This Is London offered details of the case of Manuela and Daniel Ruda, 23 and 26 respectively, charged with murdering Frank Haagen, 33, after luring him back to their home, placing him on a coffin before an altar of skulls, and striking him 66 times with a machete and once with a hammer. (For extra kicks, the couple collected Haagen's blood in a bowl, carved a six-point star in his stomach, and stubbed out numerous cigarettes on his back before drinking his blood and making love in a silk-lined coffin.) In her first day at trial, an unrepentant Manuela Ruda, draped in chains with an upside-down cross drawn on the bald half of her head, bragged of her bloodthirsty, devil-worshipping exploits, summing up with the words every daddy longs to hear his little girl say: "For the last two and a half years I have had Satan in my soul." The couple has made no effort to deny involvement in the killing--a smart move, considering that police found the victim's decomposing corpse in the Rudas' apartment, along with a small arsenal of axes, knives, and machetes, and a "death list" with names of future victims. According to the Rudas themselves, they believed their sacrificial rituals would foster their reincarnation as immortal vampires. But forget immortality--50 bucks says Manuela and Daniel Ruda stage sensational Goth suicides, either in jail or at home, before the end of the year. (And 50 more bucks says Manuela Ruda becomes a campfire-tale fixture of Lizzie Borden proportions by the end of the century.)
FRIDAY, JANUARY 18
What the world needs now is love sweet love. But what the world got today was a hideous Seattle P-I story about a 42-year-old Tacoma woman arrested for allegedly treating her elderly mother so badly that "the 81-year-old was found with dead flies embedded in her skin and rats scurrying around the garbage pile that was her bed." (Thanks to the P-I's Candace Heckman for that high-octane phrasing.) Police rescuers discovered Marie Hilda Bobo on Monday, after her daughter and legal guardian, Margaret Bobo, called 911 to report than her mother had fallen. The elderly woman was found lying on the floor, her skin encrusted with feces, her malnourished, dehydrated body weighing 88 pounds. Three days later, daughter Margaret Bobo was arrested and charged with criminal mistreatment, abandonment, and unlawful imprisonment--all felonies. The elder Bobo remains in Tacoma General Hospital in satisfactory condition, the younger Bobo remains in a Tacoma jail in lieu of $100,000 bail.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 19
Today marked the 29th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and to celebrate, Kansas doctor George Tiller offered free abortions at his Wichita clinic. For the record, Last Days is in full support of a woman's right to choose. But Dr. Tiller's is easily the creepiest promotional offer we've seen since Les Schwab Tires' annual beef giveaway.
SUNDAY, JANUARY 20
Tonight brought the 59th annual Golden Globe awardzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Hey everybody: The Stranger's got its big fat Valentine's Day issue coming up, which means it's time for you to start sending in your big, mushy valentines. Keep 'em short and sweet (under 30 words), and e-mail 'em to love@thestranger.com before January 30.
