a. birch steen: just a qwick [sic] note letting you know that do [sic] to size constrants [sic] you're [sic] colum [sic] will now be printed in a smaller font size. this might make it harder to reed [sic], but if yule [sic] refer to you're [sic] contract with us, yule [sic] notis [sic] that we are only bownd [sic] to publish you're [sic] colum [sic], not make it reedable [sic]. thanx [sic], Dan Savage.

Mr. Savage: Thank you for your note, but unfortunately you are wrong, both in your spelling (which is really quite atrocious) and content. If you were also to refer to our contract, you would notice that a) this column's font size is required to be no less than 5.5 points, and b) any changes to that established size must first be agreed to by me. This is in the contract you yourself signed, I remind you, and since said contract is binding for a duration of five years, your continual attempts to remove my column from the pages of The Stranger (or to make it unreadable) constitute a break in that agreement. Need I remind you, Mr. Savage, that your competitor, the Seattle Weekly, has already offered to run my column (in a larger format, and with a substantial pay increase attached) if/when The Stranger chooses to stop running it? I suspect that your constant hostility to my Critical Overview merely stems from both your own inflated ego and the fact that, according to The Stranger's own data, my column has now surpassed yours in popularity among your readers. For shame, Mr. Savage. For shame. Sincerely, A. Birch Steen