It's a question that's rarely asked directly in my social circles. It's unusual to even hear someone ask for a ruling about a third person. My friends and I operate on the belief that determining whether someone you're hot for usually fucks boys or girls is less important than determining whether or not they wish to fuck you.
Moving in this kind of social atmosphere spoils me, and it seems almost rude for someone to ask point-blank. And people who aren't trying to get into my pants, but still want to check my sexual ID, always seem to be firmly and self-righteously tacked at one end or the other of the Kinsey scale. To them, it's a test question, and it's supposed to be multiple choice, not essay.
I don't like test questions. Maybe that's why I dropped out of college, or maybe it's because, in the classic Lesbian Until Graduation style, I was too busy fucking other women to go to class. But conveniently enough, I didn't graduate, and I still sleep with women.
Okay, so I'm not straight. Now what? Well, I did call myself a lesbian for some years. But I wasn't always a very good lesbian, because I still fooled around with boys sometimes. Sort of the lesbian version of a married guy who occasionally sucks dick in the park at night.
I avoided the word bisexual as long as possible because, let's face it, it is the Rodney Dangerfield of sexual orientations. It gets no respect. I'm not bisexual, I used to say to myself, because I just fuck around with boys. I don't have relationships with them. Then I became partners with a FTM man. Whoops. Yeah, well, but he's transsexual. It's not like being with a regular, non-tranny guy. And then I fell in love with a regular, non-tranny guy. And I was out of acceptable rationalizations. So I made peace with bisexual, because it's the least inaccurate of the available terms.
But I've realized in the last few years that I'm not operating on the Kinsey scale. Here's my real orientation: BDSM. I would not go to bed with anyone who wasn't kinky. I don't care much about the configuration of your genitals, I just care about how many clothespins I can attach to them. Is there a box I can check for that?
