I hate the American flag, and I shouldn't have to see it this much. It makes me want to kill. Listen, the size of your American flag is directly proportional to how big of an asshole you are. The American flag is a symbol of all our biggest jerks, and the worst of our history. All these "Peace Is Patriotic" pushovers--fuck them; peace is not fucking patriotic. Patriotism is the cause of every war in the history of mankind that wasn't fought over religion. And can you really blame half the world for hating America? Look at the assholes representing us! That includes you with your flag, you piece of shit.

I remember, about three days after 9/11, this auto dealership put up a flag that must have been 50 feet long. Coming home one night, I saw that flag burning, and it was the best thing I ever saw in my life. So you know what I'm doing now? I got me a big 'ol black marker, and I'm crossing out the flags. On your businesses, your cars, your homes. So to all the shitty little flags, let it be known: I'm coming for you.