Yes, your boss is a prick. And I certainly agree that your cubemate's voice sounds like a fork on a chalkboard. And you'll hear no argument from me regarding your laughable, paltry wage. However, regardless of how much your job sucks, I can name a job that sucks 50 times more--the Counter Terrorism Unit (CTU) on the Fox hit show 24 (Mondays, 9 pm).

While I'm certain CTU offers a nice benefits package, competitive pay, and the thrill of working in a top-secret government environment, there are numerous downsides as well. Namely, THE TORTURE ROOM. Does your workplace have an official room used specifically for extracting information via any means necessary--including shocking your naughty bits? (Your employer's office doesn't count.) At CTU, it doesn't take much to find yourself strapped to a chair in the torture room. Recently, a CTU systems analyst was merely suspected of helping the enemy, and zing! She's whisked off to the torture room where she's repeatedly shocked in the neck with a Taser. Makes you think twice about lifting staplers and sticky notes, doesn't it?

And it's not just employees who find themselves holding the shit end of the electrified stick. In an early episode from this season, the secretary of defense had his own son carted off to the torture room where the young man was forced to wear headphones and listen to ear-piercing noise (maybe Hootie and the Blowfish). And while a torture room can ruin any working environment, CTU also boasts a number of other negative perks, such as: (1) Crappy doctors who don't know how to administer a sedative, (2) vindictive and possibly treasonous workmates, (3) power-hungry and/or drunk management that changes every 25 seconds, and (4) a really bad vending machine that serves spoiled egg salad sandwiches! I'm tellin' ya, it's like working in a freakin' gulag!

Horrible though it may be, CTU is still the reason I'm in LOVE with this season of 24. While previous installments have been hit and miss (with Jack's daughter Kim getting her foot caught in an animal trap being a definite "miss"), this season is not only firing on all cylinders, it has bypassed The Simpsons as the most subversive show on network TV.

Unlike other shows that portray government agencies as pure-hearted institutions of red, white, and blue values, 24 has turned into a sly indictment of the war on terrorism--where it's virtually impossible to separate the good guys from the bad. While the terrorists are portrayed in a bloodthirsty fashion, killing anyone who gets in their way (including family members), the American heroes are busy torturing their own friends and family (both mentally and physically), playing backstabbing power games, and making immoral choices--all to protect their twisted version of Democracy. Plus the president is a real dick! (Remind you of anybody?)

Anyway, if you're looking for a new and exciting career, CTU does have its advantages--such as working with the absolutely DREAMY Tony Almeida (Carlos Bernard)--and who knows? Maybe you're the type of person who likes the occasional electrocuted nipple. (E-mail me if you are! I could use a person like you in my organization.)