NEWS At long last the monorail, The Stranger's pet project for the past decade and the greatest civic blunder ever to reach voters five separate times, is dead. Praise be. Of course, The Stranger can't simply retreat and lick its wounds—it needs to go down shrieking like a spoiled child who didn't get the pretty train he wanted for Christmas. But that doesn't mean you have to read the tripe—provided, as usual, by ERICA C. BARNETT, JOSH FEIT, and DAN SAVAGE—since you've no doubt read it many, many times already.
SHORT FEATURE Our Worst EnemyOnce upon a time The Stranger merely ruined careers. Now they are attempting to ruin a life. To wit: CIENNA MADRID, a wonderful writer with a strong future ahead of her, has been assigned to partake in all the events Stranger writers are either too scared or too lazy to report on. This week's mission, a Dungeon & Dragons convention, is fairly tame, but what sort of sordid events will the paper send innocent Ms. Madrid to in the future? Given The Stranger's unrelenting nastiness, we should all be extremely concerned.
FEATURE Tortured LogicHow fitting that a paper known for its... shall we say, obscene tolerance for obscenity, is willing to publish this piece by ELI SANDERS condemning the government's reasonable interrogation methods for War on Terror detainees. What's more, Mr. Sanders has the gall to then criticize the same government for cracking down on irredeemable filth. Priorities, thou art severely twisted.