I had to catch my breath when I saw your authentic SS uniform on Halloween night. Your Totenkopf and Schirmmütze gave it away. It wasn't goth. It wasn't fetishwear. It was real, and it was in a gay-friendly club on Capitol Hill in the year 2009. You didn't wear a swastika—you are a closet Nazi. You wanted to fly under the radar so that only those who understood could see. And be frightened. You quietly snarled that it was "political commentary." I responded that your SS uniform was louder than whatever political statement you wanted to make. Only hours later did it occur to me that fascism actually WAS your political statement. After your friend made an anti-Semitic comment, I reported you to the person working the door. She told me she's Jewish and was offended by your "costume" but let you in because you "were so polite."

I should have made more of a scene. I should have gotten you kicked out. I should have had a better comeback for you than "Du bist ein Idiot!" You are so lacking in eigene Eier, you have to glorify a sad, fucked-up history that you do not understand. If we meet again, I will stop at nothing to have you and your hate physically removed from the vicinity. And if said staff cannot be bothered, I will kick your *SS back into your Nazi closet all by my dirndl-wearin', gothic-lovin', PFLAG-joinin' self!