"It's a sno-cone, not your Klansman hood, grampa."

But Sitting On Your Lap Only Bought One!

I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

I'll spend your social security any way I goddamn please, smartass.
Now shut the hell up & give me that sno cone.

"I said I need health care reform now!...I recognize a static kill when I see one"

Grandpa, turn up your hearing aid. I said "I am cold" not "I'm Al Qaeda"!

Change my diaper or the snowcone gets it.

"Gramps, I cannot tell a lie. Especially at gunpoint. Yes, it was me who's been stealing your pee bottle every day.

And yes, I've been pouring your pee on top of your daily sno-cone.

And yes, I've seen you consume each sno-cone with incredible relish.

And yes, I've heard you say that they taste like that arcane French liqueur you once sampled in that cathouse outside of Reno.

And yes, the sno-cone I proffer herewith is infused with the same tincture you hold so highly.

And yes, it is my understanding that the late Prime Minister of India, Morarji Desai, drank his own urine every day and lived to be over 99!

Cuz I love ya, Gramps, and I want you to still be around when I'm old and grey.

So, how about the usual: a dash of chocolate sprinkles on top for ya, today?"

(BANG!)

"But Gramps! You were only halfway there!"

This is not the New Yorker, so put down your gun, grampa.

"Strauss & Howe warned me this might happen!"

"But Mister Cheny! I thought we were friends!"

I didn't know you were in a wheelchair.

fuck YOU old man!

Christ... what an asshole.

Father Benington, this role-playing is going too far. First the wig and the dress, then the ice-cream cone, a wheel-chair, and now a squirt-gun. I have no idea where you're going with this fantasy. Please do this with one of the other altar boys.

Supply-Side Economics in practice.