Columns Dec 9, 2010 at 4:00 am

Sixy Jackoffpot


WORD needs to talk to him and find out what the tattoo means to him. He could have been in prison, lots of guys get racist tats in jail just so they can have the skinheads protect them. They don't necessarily believe all that bullshit, but they need someone to look after them. Also many people get tattoos and don't know what exactly they mean, most of the guys with spiderwebs weren't actually in jail and don't even know that is where that tat started. Ask him what it means to him!
Dan, we have gone and 'liked' Colleen and her cats just because we are so damned GGG in our columnist/readers relationship.
why is an 88 better than a 69? cuz you get "ate" twice! ;)
This column made me itchy. Augh.

I must say I have never heard of your fetish. But I am sure there are women out there who would be happy to oblige. I, for one, have a sort of obsession with picking dead skin or scabs and such spots off of myself and others. I really enjoy grooming others if they will let me. I sometimes have to remember to keep my hands to myself and not pick at people who would not be ok with it. So I just wanted to let you know that there is hope of finding someone to fulfill your fetish. Perhaps there are some people who enjoy the same sort of things on Best of luck! ^^
I am a married "picker" who luckily found a guy who tolerates me picking at his skin before and during sex. Skin will find his lady somewhere.

I want you to know that there are women out there who would want to help you out with your fetish.I, for one, love to pick at dead skin and scabs and things. I really enjoy grooming others and myself. Though I get no sexual pleasure from it. I would not be turned off if someone else did. So don't give up hope. And perhaps there are some people on who are into the same thing.
Hey Dan, we want you to create a new cocktail called 'sex by surprise'!

I am amazed at the number of chicks who are into the grooming/picking/SKIN thing...I mean, I wasn't altogether skeeved out, but it did strike me as very bizarre. I do get the whole 'primates do grooming' but I figured there was no way that guy would have any luck, much less sooo many gals popping up in the comments volunteering. I learn something new every day!
Picking is a very common compulsion in people who have OCD (which is, itself, not uncommon). SKIN is not doomed to a life of solitude or unfulfillment.
I feel like asking for votes isn't really giving the others a fair chance. Internationally syndicated columnist brings his entire readership to bear on a contest and nearly doubles the total number of votes in the process?

Then again, for all the awesome work you've done, being able to rig some lame ass cat food competition is perhaps a concession you deserve.

SKIN moisturize!

WORD You admittedly are in an open relationship, and because this is a NSA relationship, DTMFA because he may really be a POS. You are not committed to this guy; there are plenty 8",9", 10" cocks out there that would just love to get a Great BJ from you, then pound your tight white collar ass like there is no tomorrow, Hell I would and I'm not even gay.

Dominant and Submissive are terms that we use to describe our roles in the realm of BDSM, Clearly as individuals we define what they are. One might call themselves a submissive while another might not. All our experience are unique and subjective: So in the realm of BDSM our roles are varied as we are all sexual individuals!

As for CGT and all the comments Pro and Con I have to say that sometimes we just can't go there. I Love to eat ASS and Pussy and I consider myself a DOM and some would argue that D/s wouldn't do that "submissive" act, I do. I had an incident where I was going to go down on my Drop Dead Gorgeous Piece of Ass, 20year old female fuck-buddy. She didn't have a chance to freshen up since she was just getting off from work. Needless to say I got one whiff of all day working without the benefit of baby wipes, a soapy paper hand towel or a shower and I made a hasty retreat(I know that I'm not the only one that this has happened too). I just didn't go there even though she insisted and thought that she was "Fresh", My Nose knew better. SO after she took a Shower I still couldn't going there. In fact it was this day that I Learned even a Drop Dead Gorgeous Hot Piece of Ass can smell just like an Ugly Funky Santorum Piece of ASS!!EEWWWWWWWWUGGGHHH!. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THERE!
CGT: There are like 10,000 varieties of vibrating dildo like things for sale. Plus all sorts of warming gels and scented lubes and even stuff that glows in the dark. I am sure that at least one combination is the right size/shape/color to give a nice peritoneal massage (or more). And the giver can have a good 6-10 inches or whatever she needs, between her and the actual target of her affections. And yeah, use pillows.

The SKIN guy should take better care of himself, presumably his skin disorder is treatable to the point he is not an oozing wound, unless he wants to be. Its much easier to find a sex partner who is into grooming in general, and a good scalp massage would still get SKIN off, I am sure. He could probably find a good oil or similar treatment that would even burn a little/ tingle as it was rubbed into his scalp, sort of simulating the sensation of picking. His fetish may be very specific, but he can probably "scratch the itch" at least indirectly, in a more general way.
So today, of all days, I read the column while eating lunch. Gross, but hilarious.
My ex-stepdad used to LOVE peeling other people's skin after a sunburn. Perhaps your scab picker fetish could best be indulged by another guy? Close your eyes, you won't be able to tell a man's fingers from a woman's fingers.
collen k has 0ver 14,000 likes, wow some other kitty only has 114
@CGT you dont need to directly put your face into the hole. maybe for starters, a handjob would do good, and if that isnt secure enough, try a rubber glove...
WORD's side piece my just be an ex-con. I don't know anything really about prison life and I understand it's different from place to place but, still, I heard it can help, if you are white, male and in prison, to have racist tattoos.

If it is a racism thing, it's pretty telling that he chose something nebulous like 88 instead of,say, a much less ambiguous swastika or lightning bolt SS.

There are 88 keys on a piano.
Maybe if he found a dominatrix, someone paid to indulge and understand fetishes, instead of an escort, he might have a better chance of getting to enjoy his fantasy.
I don't think eating smelly ass is required to be GGG or submissive. I consider myself kind of submissive, but more in the desire to have someone else in control (power play) than the desire to have someone force me to do unpleasant things. I'd rim a clean ass if requested (only if he/she reciprocated though). Speaking of ass, any suggestions for bringing up rimming with a new partner? My experience has been that most straight guys are eager for anal intercourse (yah!), but what's a good way to ask for a rim job considering some might be as grossed out by rimming as I am by SKIN's fetish? I wonder what percentage of people are into rimming...just thinking about it... *sigh*
@42 I would totally be willing and excited to gurgle some cum, but am horrified at the thought of skin picking (one of my biggest irrational fears). If we joined forces, together our sexual superpowers would be unstoppable!
Skin needs to find a girl with dermatillomania. It's an OCD disorder that involves compulsive picking. She wouldn't be squeamish about picking his skin, because she picks her own all the time. She might even be fascinated.
I love picking skin and scabs, and I'm a hot 23 year year old girl. Mostly focused on picking my own, but I also enjoy picking others. I beg beg beg my boyfriend to let me pick his pimples which he indulges on rare occasion -- he complains about it hurting and scarring. but there is hope for your mr. kinky scalp picker!
Butt, butt, butt, isn't it absolutely fabulust that Savage makes a better than decent living from us following along about all this sh-t!
Here's some hope for SKIN. I'm a woman, and I really love (in a mostly nonsexual way) picking at scabs and skin blemishes. I was lucky enough to find a husband who tolerates this, but if theres one girl out there like that there is probably more than one.
I know a gal who likes picking skin... of course, you'd have to deal with the narcolepsy, schizophrenia and addictions issues, but she'd pick your scalp while you jacked off...
@CGT: Bring up the topic of weight loss? (Something non-confrontational like, "hey, what do you think of that 'Biggest Loser' tv show?") Butt shaving? Switch to a more fruit-based diet for scent improvement?

@SKIN: Based on the comments looks like his situation isn't hopeless (heck, I like to pick skin too, just not in a sexual way). I'm going to assume he doesn't want to "fix" his scalp condition, but for anyone else with a similar problem (and for whom dandruff shampoo fails), if you're not shampooing your scalp twice with regular shampoo, try that. It's shockingly effective.
Letterman mentioned Rick Santorum tonight,
so I googled "santorum" and sure enough,
Dan's still #1! LMAO
There are two different ways of looking at the dom/sub dynamic (actually, probably more, and they can blend together). I don't know if these have common names, because I haven't really seen this talked about very much in BDSM books... let me know if anyone has.

The first is that the dom is the one in charge because the dom likes things how he (or she, etc.) wants and the sub likes to please his dom. In thus framework, it's not the acts that matter, it's about serving and pleasing and taking care of someone's wishes. In this framework, it's not the sub who's really in control, though there can still be hard limits in play.

The second is more common in specific scene play and has to do with specific roles or archetypes, where the 'sub' might be the one being beaten, fucked, whipped, or giving oral sex -- even if it's exactly what the sub wants and the dom is doing it to please the sub!

This is where the seemingly contradictory idea of 'topping from the bottom' comes from: dom in sense 1, but sub in sense 2. Sounds like the LW. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you communicate to your partner, "I like to play sub roles in these specific ways and I like to choose and be in charge of what I do." (Note that this is very different from "I'll serve you in any way up to hard limits X and Y," which is sub in sense 1.)

For some people, pegging someone's ass (regardless of cleanliness) would ruin their sub fantasies, because they see the act as a dominant one (sense 2), whereas for others, it's pleasing their partner by doing what they are told and thus submitting (sense 1).
88 is probably a reference to Dale Earnhardt.
@81 - Someone, please, open up an establishment called the "No Holds Bar". lol
I just don't see where scalp picking is a fetish too far, especially when men in baby diapers isn't. Is it just because I compulsively groom my husband (pop zits, remove hair, get his "ear flakes", hell I've even been known to get boogers off his nose). It's not a sexual turn on for either of us, but if he said it got him off, it wouldn't bother me. Would I think it's a little strange? Yes. Would I indulge him? Most definately.
Colleen K and her Pussy for the WIN!!
@ 12 and 111

Maybe that's my problem. I'm a bio major with OCD.

/end sarcasm.

Seriously how is this so nasty?
I've found some of these "open relationships" to be anything but, and I wonder if the "amazing boyfriend" in the allegedly "open relationship" is even aware WORD is getting pounded regularly by a tattooed eight-inch schlong.
what about anal bleaching for the big dude. i really know nothing on the subject. its just a stupid suggestion
A long shot is that he's a big fan of NHL hockey player, Eric Lindros, who wore the number 88. If you're in the Philly area, who knows.
WORD. I feel like this guy knows alot more than he is saying. He's unsure about the 88, but busts out the "RAHOWA" like it's just common lingo used in chit-chat. I call bullshit.
Damn! Who would have thought "88" could have so many different meanings? I think of myself as an aware, well read, reasonably bright guy, and I had no idea. (But I love suggestion it could refer to his length AND girth....)
I have to agree, though, that he has to find out. How can he suck a guy's dick while wondering if he's a bigot? It seems easy enough to ask, "Hey, what's the tat? You into NASCAR...?"
And finally, I don't understand the comments about class. Just because this guy is turned on by a blue-collar dude doesn't mean he has no respect for him, or the class as a whole. Let it go, people, it's probably just a fetish.
Oh, and I LOVE the pic of the two dogs. Joe Newton is the best!
There once was a man from up-state
Who had a tattoo "eighty-eight."
He allowed his friend, Tim
Pick at his skin,
But only after his ass Tim ate.
"I love picking skin and scabs, and I'm a hot 23 year year old girl. Mostly focused on picking my own, but I also enjoy picking others. I beg beg beg my boyfriend to let me pick his pimples which he indulges on rare occasion -- he complains about it hurting and scarring. but there is hope for your mr. kinky scalp picker!"

#124, We must also be twins. I'm a 23 year old female as well, and I would love to be hooked up with this guy!!! On the other hand, I would be too disgusted to perform anilingus on a man ...however, I do enjoy having it done to me!
To SKIN: I'm a young woman who loves to pick dry skin/scabs off of other people. It's not at all a sexual thing. It's more like a slightly obsessive compulsive habit that relaxes me. But I just wanted to reassure you that there are girls that would enjoy it. Just start by enticing them with a nice sunburn to peel...

I wonder if SKIN might get some pleasure from having a girl just brush his scalp really hard with a stiff-bristled brush, or comb it with a hard, fine-toothed comb (like a metal pet comb).
A friend of mine used to work with a really, heavy guy. His stench was so bad, each time he left the room, they would spray Febreze. One night, they were discussing life and sex. He was telling the staff how he has a girlfriend. Oddly enough, he said, she used nose plugs whenever she went down on him. Yum.
A friend of mine used to work with a really, really heavy man. He smelled terrible - so bad that whenever he left a room, they would spray Febreze. One night, they were all talking about stuff. He told them he has a girlfriend. None of them could believe it but then he told them, "Funny thing, whenever she goes down on me, she wears nose plugs." Yum.
The Hitler tats guy reminds me of a Moroccan dude I once had a NSA thing with. We would occasionally go out to coffee or something before/after, and on one such outing, it suddenly came out that his older sister was not allowed to leave the house without him. I thought he was kidding, so I laughed and (because I have a younger brother), I said, "Hahaha, as though my brother could tell me what to do..." He seriously responded that his family was actually very progressive in that, if his sister were to leave the house without permission, and if she were to be raped, for instance, his family would only disown her -- not KILL her -- for dishonoring the family. I stood up and left without a word. I never talked to that guy again.

I'm just guessing, but if the tattoo said, "Kill Fags!" WORD probably wouldn't have had to ask, and he likely would've walked out, too. For whatever that's worth...
OMG-- just cant fathom the anal freaky shit--- god either buck the fuck up and do it or buck up and be honest--wow that was hard to figure out
The tattoo may not even have any racist meanings behind it. 88 is my favorite number, not because it has anything to do with white supremacy. In fact, I had no idea of that meaning until reading this article. I just like it because you get 8 twice. Don't make assumptions, just ask the guy.
I totally agree with the idea that SKIN should refrain from explaining his likes as a sexual kink, at least at the beginning. We girls sometimes get frightened by some ideas if they are framed like that. Well, guys do too.

I love the video on YouTube in which Dan talks about kinks and he says we should not talk about our kinks like "I have cancer, and these are my tumors" but "it's Christmas morning, and these are YOUR presents. These are the fun sexy fucking things you get to do with me. What are the fun sexy things I get to do with you"

Tell them that it gives you pleasure without mentioning it's sexual at first. As you might have seen already if you read the comments, MOST girls like grooming I think, and many times are afraid to ask, or teach their boyfriends to put up with it. You may find your kink can be totally mainstream!!

Most girls don't mind picking their boyfriends. And none mind them jerking off. Just use the right frame for it and enjoy!!
I totally agree with the idea that SKIN should refrain from explaining his likes as a sexual kink, at least at the beginning. We girls sometimes get frightened by some ideas if they are framed like that. Well, guys do too.

I love the video on YouTube in which Dan talks about kinks and he says we should not talk about our kinks like "I have cancer, and these are my tumors" but "it's Christmas morning, and these are YOUR presents. These are the fun sexy fucking things you get to do with me. What are the fun sexy things I get to do with you"

Tell them that it gives you pleasure without mentioning it's sexual at first. As you might have seen already if you read the comments, MOST girls like grooming I think, and many times are afraid to ask, or teach their boyfriends to put up with it. You may find your kink can be totally mainstream!!

Most girls don't mind picking their boyfriends. And none mind them jerking off. Just use the right frame for it and enjoy!!
@155 -- "Most girls don't mind picking their boyfriends. And none mind them jerking off. Just use the right frame for it and enjoy!!"

Now, you know there are plenty of ladies that do mind. HandJOB. Just one more inconvenient thing to do. We women hate giving pleasure.
All CGT needs to do is get him into the bathtub and give him the soapy finger a few times - after that, he'll be unscented for at least an hour. If the tub is big enough, she can rim him in the tub & soapy-finger him anytime she wants.

I know SKIN's woman, but unfortunately she just turned 16. My daughter has enjoyed this since she was very little and still does.

This means that there are others.

I am of the camp that loves picking skin- my own and others. I remember being like 5 years old- the big thing to do was to cover your hand in glue, let it dry and pick it off. We all loved doing it. I know tons of women who still love to pick- pick their fingers, scalps, sunburns, etc. I just told my husband the other day that the best Christmas gift would be to give himself a sunburn so that I could pick the dead skin in a few weeks. I was kidding of course. Kinda. So, SKIN, not gross at all! Fun!
I get the overly musky ass-smell. Sorry.
wow I cannot believe that there are so many different ways to see the 88 thing. I had to read it again and WORD did mention that there are paramilitarty (sp) items in his NSA home. I would definately ask not just about the tat but the other stuff too, but more importantly, I would trust my gut. If it feels yukie it most likely is.
Another female here (attractive, successful, smart) who would love to engage in some scalp picking. Give me some tweezers, Q-Tips, and some hydrogen peroxide and I'll get all up in that stuff. I'm happily married, and my husband submits (he's usually a sub anyway) when he can. I also love zit picking and pubic tweezing- they are deceptively long!-I can do it for hours on myself, but hubby draws the line on his own pubes. Do I have OCD? Eh, who cares. I'm a fully functional adult comfortable in my own skin. :)
Dan shows again his one-sided political submission. WORD is having great NSA sex with a guy he is into. WHO THE FUCK CARES what the guy's personal political views are!

If WORD was an unabashed meat-lover and WORD's hot fuck buddy was a vegan, Dan would have not problem. But because WORD's sex partner might be on the far right, Dan has a problem...

Dan Savage shows his true colors and they aren't pretty!!!
@166 cute analogy, but it falls apart when you consider that white supremacy is an anti-human philosophy. Would most people want to fuck a murderer? Hell no.
I wonder what the other cat ladies on the site are thinking.
I'm actually inclined to believe that SKIN's letter is genuine simply because I can't believe anyone could make such a thing up. The mind just doesn't go there.
Dan, come on. WORD, Dan should've said, "ask don't assume." Period. "ASK."

Then, if you get an answer you wouldn't prefer, ask yourself how much it really matters in your extra relationship. Dan's mores in that venue may not match yours and Dan's mores are his for an extra, not yours. Ask yourself.

My query is whether it really is an extra if you're asking Dan for advice on whether it matters. Sounds like it's competing for primacy which is fn ridiculous if he's playing as you described.
I kinda wish I could find the Scab Kinkster. We're the same age, and he might be less critical of my Dermatillomania than my last boyfriend. My picking is due to nerves, but I would be happy to pick his skin and let him pick mine... whatever the reason!

Regarding the scab kinkster - I thoroughly enjoy picking the scabs off my scalp. I do so all the time, and while I don't derive any sexual satisfaction from it, it's something that I would understand in a partner and be willing to do for them. It's just satisfying! It taps into some kind of primal, grooming urge.
So... keep asking women! There's bound to be other pickers!
Dan, you continue to ROCK!
@141: I had never heard the term "RAHOWA" before reading this post, but I looked it up and now know it's a white supremacist term for "racial holy war," and now you know it too. Knowing the term doesn't mean anything.

@167: Some people think being a liberal (or conservative) is an "anti-human philosophy," which is just another way of saying "philosophy I'm strongly opposed to."
I wouldn't want to fuck a republican, but a group of conservative dumbnuts is not analogous to a group that supports the killing of niggers, spics, and kikes.

You're not convincing me.
175, thanks for the info-as it's 5 a.m, I'd have been too tired to look it up. ITA w/the 2nd half of your post also: I'm EXTREMELY pro-choice & have {@ times in my life when I wasn't too picky ie, 19-21}, been fucking some guy who was anti-choice. It was sort of thing I'd find out later-like, knowing a guy well enough to have his cock inside me, but not knowing him well enough to talk about politics, lol. {I'm being slightly facetious, but not much}. It seems to me that not too many comments on that letter feel, as I do, that any deal-breaking opinions or beliefs an NSA lover doesn't share, are relevant & particular to each individual. For one thing, IF the tattoo is racist (& there seem to be a few alternative possibilities for the "88", as illustrated by savvy commenters this wk), it's not like Mr. 88 is spewing racist rhetoric @ the top of his lungs-on the contrary! WORD isn't even sure. They're not being seen in public together, meeting each other's families or friends-none of that-it's all NSA. WORD, if I've fucked pro-lifers, you can fuck this dude.
My BF is the smelly type too, and here's a solution: Offer to shower together first. Its super sexy, and allows you to get into all those crevices with a bar of sop before you have to spend any time there. Also, it seems like you are offering something a bit kinky, which is a way better way of going about it than telling him "you smell".
@165 (LOSE-LOSE): I want to be The Incredible Hulk!!
I'd like to register as someone with a minor skin fetish (for my own and others), and would totally pick the scalp of the man I love. Not you, #2, sorry.

WORD cares, that's who.
Oddly enough, this is the second time in two days I heard that an 88 tattoo stands for Heil Hitler (did our letter writer watch the same L&O ep?). I managed to go 27 years without knowing this though, so while there is a change he's a white supremest, he could also be completely ignorant of the 'meaning'. Face it. Those numbers can stand for anything, from the year of his prom, to a specific football victory or even his IQ.
@177: There is... a significant difference between "philosophy I disagree with" and "philosophy I find fundamentally abhorrent". I see a big difference between goinking a Republican, however far-right-wing, and goinking someone who thinks killing Jews is a spiffy idea. Or a difference between goinking a (normal, sane) pro-lifer and goinking the kind of person who bombs abortion clinics. Or, for that matter, on the other side, between goinking an avid and active environmentalist or animal-rights activist and goinking the kind of person who blows up "enemies of Mother Earth" or labs that work with animals.

But, yeah, find out if Mr. 88 actually *is* a racist nutjob before ya dump him. The most...neutral way to do that might be to just ask "So, what's with the tattoo?"--less potentially offensive than other available approaches...
The scab guy might want to date women who give facials and do skin care for a living. They might be less grossed out by it and I have several friends who are aesthetisians who all joke about being "monkeys". We all like to pick at scabs and pimples. It's gross and not sexual but I don't think any of us would be revolted. The bonus of someone trained is that she could help without causing tissue damage or a really-serious-you-might-actually-die infection like MRSA. (hope he doesnt mind if she wears gloves or douses him with tea tree oil or whatever afterwards),
SKIN should try dating a nurse, specifically a Burns nurse. If there's anyone who doesn't mind picking off other people's scabs, its them.
I always felt like receiving oral/rimming was not a submissive act, but giving is.
THe "88" tattoo is for Dale Earnhart, the NASCAR guy. Not Hitler.
OMG,skin can't find a %paid* escort to pick his scalp??? In *this* economy??? Sounds like pretty safe sex to me. If he's offering enough money I'm sure there are plenty of women in financial need who would indulge him.
At least one person mentioned the hot tub and another mentioned taking a shower first.

How about eating @#!*% IN the shower? Probably also a real hot place for pegging if that is on the menu....
If WORD is so worried about the 88, why doesn't he just ask the guy? But really if it is a NSA relationship why is WORD worried? Would it be any different if WORD meant the guy weekly at a bath house? It seems to me that he is going beyond the NSA rules, if he is worried about wants on the his body or in his apartment. I had a few NSA's. I never got to think about what were on their bodies or in their apartments. We did the deed and departed. It was great.
I'd pick scabs off of a guy's head. Why not? I have some pretty rare kinks myself.
White supremacists don't like queers either. Personally I'd be afraid I was banging someone who was going to go nuts one day from the double life and kill me for leading him astray.

As for the "jail" excuse... OMG as if. It's not expensive to get those covered in something else once you're out. If he didn't want a big ass 88 on his body if he was really against that he would have covered that shit up by now. As for the various sports excuses? Another please. it's such common knowledge what the 88 is for that no one would want such a potential mixup. And if it was for sports, for real, there would be something else like a car or basketball or whatever. Not just an 88.

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