@97 right. Poor conservatives, just wanting to be left alone with your opinions! That would be fine, if conservatives weren't so damn preoccupied with how everyone wants to live their lives. If conservatives would just let other people marry and adopt and be in charge of their own uteruses and fuck other consenting adults in peace, maybe us crazy lefties wouldn't be all up in arms about conservatives.

@97

Conservatives can have their opinions. I think discussions ought to be somewhat less personal, buuuuut....people are still entitled to disagree with you.

I know i am preaching to the choir. You DID say Planned Parenthood doesn't serve JUST heterosexuals, but why'd you make it a straight/queer issue? When its totally not!

Not hello heterosexuals!

Hello EVERYBODY!

Becuase PP serves men and womens' reproductive health needs (okay, yes, the latter MUCH better than the former) it really is everyone who needs to call.

Additionally, the same folks that drum up anti-abortion debates are waiting only to move on to anti-queer legislation too.

And last, as queer folk, we all know exposing yourself to the risk of pregnancy/reproduction/breeding says nothing about your orientation/gender identity.

Im just sayin'. We can't afford to dichotomize ourselves. Especially not know/like this.

[full disclosure, I'm a dyke. I used to work for Planned Parenthood. Until the economy crashed and they laid me off]

ok. choir-preaching done.

For LW2: Dan has offered that opinion many times - that the less-amorous partner should have sex anyway, in a minimal-participation way. But I feel like the LW should be warned: having sex when you don't feel like it (not one time, of course, but as an expectation) is the fastest way to turn desire into revulsion. Sex ix not a duty. And I still can't see why anyone would want to have sex with someone who isn't into it. Maybe it's just me, but I couldn't enjoying knowing my partner was just waiting for me to get off so he could get some sleep.

I was listening to a talk by Gloria Steinem last night, and she made a fascinating point: Planned Parenthood is arguably the most trusted organization in the country, serving about 25% of the US population.

So sign, donate, and get to work!

Dan, you are in a position of fascinating power and influence and I truly admire what you have done with it. I just signed the petition and have been refreshing every few minutes just watching the numbers climb. It's magnificent. Thank you for all you do.

@7: Supporting Wisconsin is great, but she said she was in the Pacific Northwest. On a practical basis, she'd be better off visiting UDub, Washington State, Oregon, or Oregon State. (Not Gonzaga.) No one should have to get on a plane to hook up. Good idea otherwise.

I usually agree with Dan, but I've got to side with the people taking issue with his advice to FEEBLE. The whole "loving assist" thing IS good advice - for people who aren't whiny, selfish assholes. If this was a frequently sort of thing, because of differing schedules and such, it would make sense. If his girlfriend never offered to make up for it in any way, and this was again frequent, that would make sense. But instead, she has to get up early, nicely tells him that they'll have great sex tomorrow instead, and he is STILL a whiny douchebag? Does he even read Dan? Because if he did, he should be well acquainted with the number of people writing in to say their partner never wants to have sex, is always tired, never makes it up and so on. I think giving someone a raincheck for the next 24 hours IS being GGG. This guy needs a serious dose of reality, and if he doesn't knock it the fuck off he's probably going to annoy a pretty awesome sounding girlfriend out of his life, and be cursed by rule of karmic GGG to forever afterwards only have girlfriends that have low sex drives and are always too tired.

While I'm of very similar sentiments on the question of access to healthcare (heck, I'm all for a single-payer public health system), there are some holes in these arguments, and sadly, I think we need to figure out how to address them:

if you don't pay for them to get healthy/stay healthy, they can't work for you, and your company suffers.

Not in the age of outsourcing (or, for cheap labor, in-sourcing)...and besides, we now have a structural unemployment problem (yes, we do - it's been building for a while, the Bush credit bubble just hid it), so this isn't gonna fly.

If you don't pay for them to stay healthy, we get epidemics that spread to rich people and make YOU SICK.

Sadly, in the age of anti-vaccine flat-earthers of the extreme liberal variety, this is a hollow threat. Until we run out of herd effect immunity and it's demonstrable that 'free' public health vaccination programs don't work, the old school communicable diseases aren't going to be persuasive.

Nowadays, the differences you're talking about are picking between those who die much younger of non-communicable medical problems (look at Brewer's AZ "death panels" in re: Medicaid transplant patients).

When poor people can't pay for things (like healthcare, other bills because of healthcare bills) they commit crime out of necessity.

I think the more persuasive view is that when poor people (which ought to be understood to be the bottom 3 quintiles) become utterly disenfranchised and no longer get to enjoy the benefits of our country, they start to get radicalized - look at Al Shabab here and look at what's happening in Northern Africa right now. At the moment, the 'haves' believe they can simply shrug off and shed the 'have-nots' in our society - that they can hide in their private gated bubble (see the massive GOP push to crush the public sector and funnel public dollars into 'privatized' government). And in this age of globalization, the linkage between all parts of our communtiy/society is much much weaker than in the last progressive era, so they have a better shot at getting away with it. Nobody remembers the anarchist bombings and other radicalization in this country between the Gilded Age and the New Deal, but I fear it will take a return to that level of anger in the broader population.

The best we can hope for is that enough people who otherwise don't seem to care - friends and family of those who fall prey to an early death or severe disability - will wise up when they see what happens to their friends and neighbors and how differently people live. There will be solid support for a Public Health Care system as soon as >50% of the public no longer has access to health care. In some sense, I am encouraged to recall that it was the same set of semi-privileged haves who lead the way in the 40s and 50s in building the political pressure and attitudes that gave us the "60s".

The libertarian fundamentalists think such a collapse of access will drive costs down - it won't - it will result in a political realignment. I continue to believe the same will happen with regard to women's choice when the reality of the world under the radicals starts to become apparent. They will be the victims of their own successes.

From Madison, WI. Thanks, Dan! I was beginning to think you had forgotten about us! We miss you and thank you for your support! Power to the People!

@114

Good point, cysts_are_icky. I have endometriosis, which causes cysts, pain (during sex and just in general) and if untreated, will make it difficult/impossible for me to have babies. My long-term care for this chronic condition? Birth control pills.

I think Dan's advice to FEEBLE is fine - the key statement being "GGG demands a little something of both of you". Good luck to both in negotiating GGG in future and for him to be thinking about it early in the relationship - because it will get worse! However, I don't think labelling him is helpful.

I'm also feeling that he has (over)reacted to what perhaps he is sensing is a change in the NRE dynamic (in her), that he has not reached himself. But he should listen to his feelings about it & talk it over with her outside the moment - better now than when he's trapped with kids.

Coupled with being told to masturbate (and we don't know how that was done). Now I know that that so-helpful suggestion is a red-rag as far as I'm concerned, sounding much like an ideologically convenient fob-off: "Oh it's fine to only have sex when I want it, because masturbation is a solution". Yes, spookily enough I'm aware I can - I've probably done so more times in a year than some low-libido folks have had sexual thoughts in a lifetime, and do it terribly well. But it has very little to do with what I want from partnered sex, and is not in any way a "solution" to an extended mismatch in desire or a substitute for mutual GGG.

And yes #68, mediocre sex can be very good for a relationship, because it paves the way for spectacular loving sex when both are on the same page. Kids and life can cause you to reconsider the idealistic beliefs about what sex "should" be like that we inherit from the mags. For me, the fact that DW is GGG is fantastically meaningful because it implies that she is willing to lift a finger for what's important (to me).

@105 Aurora: It's really only a solution if you are otherwise closely matched sexually. Then, you both will be having sex sometimes to make the other one happy. I did this for an ex who also did not hesitate to do it for me, and it worked great, but if it's always one partner having sex for the other, not so good.

BEWARE- MRS. ROBINSON LOOKS LIKE A FAKE, MEAN LETTER

This is to alert all of you that the Mrs. Robinson piece in this column seems fake, possibly in a very mean and calculated way.
At first I thought it’s nothing but a college dude who wants to get nude pics of his buddies so that he can post them, but the more I think about it I believe it is an attempt to smear an entire family here.

There are too many details here that may lead to the “suspects involved”. Twin daughters, remarry while they were four, they are now in college. And even the location. And all those questions about how hard it to find one a younger lover…. Come on, if she really is that attractive then younger men hit her all the time. And if she asks her friend to join her and her husband then asking strangers is even easier.

Possible suspects: The first wife, an angry neighbor, the twin girls getting back at their step mom, someone getting back at the twin girls telling them their father and step mom are fucking their classmates.

Another possibility is that Dan changed the family situation in order not to out the “real” one. In that case my guess is that it could be the son getting a hit from telling the “very attractive” step mom that if she only wants he will be there for her.

And if the details were indeed changed in order not to expose the real or imagined family then a huge disservice was done to families who may fit the fake description.

One way or the other- the lawyer was absolutely right!

"I'm a 24-year-old...for the past six months...We have amazing sex...after a week of no sex..."

I'm guessing this was the first time this (meaning a whole week of disinterest) has happened between you two, which, given your age and your situation, might be a little alarming. It was a tiny bit unfair of Dan to characterize you as whining about having to wait 24 hours for awesome sex. You already had been waiting for a week, probably the first time in that relationship that things had gone that cool for that long.

That said, you didn't handle it very gracefully. It's possible that when you said "this was difficult for [you]", that you meant that you were beginning to feel more than a little rejected, and wondering what had suddenly changed between you. But the way you put it in writing came across as if you thought you were owed something. You reinforced this idea with your next sentence. You may or my not not have said it that way to her, but you pretty clearly said it that way to Dan and all the commenters who have been raking you over the coals.

While Dan's take on being giving with an assist is all to the good, I suspect that if you try to show this column to her next time this comes up, as if it were a referee call, it isn't going to go over very well.

This will happen again. Life gets in the way sometimes. If you are feeling loved and accepted in other ways, don't take a week off to mean the love is gone. That doesn't count unless and until it starts happening with great regularity, or there are other signs she's lost interest. And don't go around feeling entitled. That is not going to make her feel anything but imposed on.

What is this "married olds" shit? 41 years old is NOT OLD!!!

CHANGED MY MIND, MRS ROBINSON IS INDEED REAL

Along with posting @119 I also emailed Dan to alert him of what I believed to be a malicious letter. I got his response shortly after assuring me he talked to the lady, family details were changed, and he even got her pictures proving she is indeed “very attractive”.

Then I saw posting #120, presumably written by the lady herself. I wrote her, she wrote back, and she even sent a picture to prove that she is indeed attractive. She’s gorgeous. And no, I’m not sharing because she threatened to sue me if I do. Besides, I promised her to delete that email and I already did.

She assured me that if she was in her 70’s now then she would have gladly do the hokey pokey with me some 30 years ago, but unfortunately has no interest in balding middle age guys like myself.
She likes them young, and I’m sure she will get them.

I wished her the best and am extremely envious at all the lucky dudes.

123 - *Them*? The original letter is singular throughout from beginning to end. She's fantasized about being with a younger man and is looking for an encounter NSA; she and her husband had the threesome.

Does it matter? I've never been nonmonogamous and can't really tell, but instinct suggests that something done at least with the original intent of its being One Time Only might well be beyond the boundaries of what might be acceptable as a Regular Feature.

But, whatever happens, I hope that, after the phase of this particular fantasy has played out, she and her husband both regard the time with increased insight and are pleased it occurred.

@120, Since you're here (what a pleasant surprise), would you care to elaborate a little about how everyone felt after the threesome with your friend? I found it unusual that you didn't mind your husband having sex with your friend. Did that incident give you some insight into how to avoid jealousy?

For once I have to agree with hunter (125). I leaped to the conclusion (100) that FEEBLE was hot and denied all week but he did indeed NOT make his case (or at least Dan didn't have room to print that part). I also agree everyone has the right to say no one night- GGG be damned. But that means I get it every OTHER night, right?

@126- While you do have a valid point I should mention that my "stamp of approval" @123 was first emailed to Mrs. R herself, and was only published after I got her "stamp of approval". She even wrote that it's "perfect".

Glad I didn't delete that email, only the previous one with the picture. I really did!

Mrs. Robinson, @129/130, can I just say, wow. You and your husband have a great attitude towards sex and marriage and life. Very inspiring!

Mrs Robinson (129/130), I'll second your claim that "you never know where you'll end ten years in the future". Indeed you don't, and one of the nicest things in life is precisely being able to build up the confidence necessary to do some of the things you dream about. Because they don't come easy, even for men, and even if they've been fantasizing about that -- you're never prepared for the 'full reality' of everything (in real life, everything has shades, smells, angles and causes feelings that never occur in your fantasies). Going S-L-O-W-L-Y is always good advice for everybody involved, plus it gives you time to enjoy and savor all the little details of every stage -- all the flavors and smells and touches -- that you hadn't realized would also be there (including the negative ones, which you can then learn to avoid).

What's the hurry? Baby steps will take you where you want to go, too.

Just wanted to say thank you to those who recommended OK cupid...I have found someone who is in an open relationship and we're having coffee.

OMG, mark this day down....I agree with both Professor and Hunter! I think FEEBLE was putting on too much pressure...24 hours is a fine window for still being GGG. There are sometimes (albiet rare) that I am simply not in the mood. And this includes all sexual activity, even lending a helping hand. If pressured, I feel obligated, and resentful. If being non-horny was a normal state for the ltter writer (or me), I would say, yeah, buck up and offer to help. But since its not, a "rain check" within 24 hours is certainly reasonable, and I would rather wait a DAY to have a willing partner, then an obligatory one.

And Mrs. Robinson...I prefer men my own age, as staed above, but KUDOS to you for knowing what you want, and going for it! Sounds like you guys have one hell of a sex life together. I don't get jealous of watching my hubby with other women either, I think its actually pretty hot. Why should I be jealous, right? He pays my bills, and he is coming home with me at the end of the night! Plus, I am the one who taught him how to eat the kitty, lol!! So I kinda get a kick out of showing that off.

138, no, not really....just implying they might need some life experience. I liked younger men when I was younger as well. Until I got older, and sampled the pleasures a more seasoned veteran in the sheets could give me. Now I prefer guys my own age. Funny how that works.

But thanks for the insult though! Speaking of insecurities...

I think that Dan is being a bit of a prankster here. I do not think that he would go against his lawyers advice, and rish a huge and costly law suit. I'd be willing to bet that this is a set up for future columns and perhaps an article.
To those of you responding to that email addy, Think twice, as you might find yourself in the Stranger!!

FEEBLE has NO clue about intimacy (a general good requirement in an actual dating/live-in/LTR.) Wah, poor him, it was "difficult" for him? I wonder how difficult it is for her to live with a guy whose definition of GGG is the 24/7 expectation that she service him, regardless of fatigue. He might want to be grateful she 'put out' at all, with that shitty attitude. I predict a long bitter life of singledom and little pleasurable sex for him.

I also love it when staunch conservies get their manpanties wadded if their Viagra might be at-risk. Apparently, many men don't know [that] they can get good-quality condoms and dental dams at PP (hell, so many men in Dallas don't know what those are...are they in that 50% of men who are HPV-infected?) They also have no clue that PP might one day be providing their own health care (when their pensions get ransacked by their former employers, for instance), providing them with exams and cancer screenings, in addition to diabetes screenings...you know, all those medical check ups they need in order to even get their keepitup pills in the first place.

And yes, sex over 40 is fucking amazing, mainly because men my age who don't give a shit about esoteric bullshit are abundant. The odds of finding a younger guy who doesn't want (a)stereotypical Barbie or (b)a notch on his belt buckle in the "bag a Cougar" contest, are slim. I'm sure younger dudes exist who simply want a true NSA for the sake of having one (or plenty), but that's a rarity.

Dan, I just wanted to thank you for posting that link for Planned Parenthood donation. I live in the UK, and when I was 17 I got pregnant through my own stupidity, I was lucky enough that our own NHS was there to help me out and pick up the pieces.

Again, when I had a miscarriage aged 22, as a result of a rare condition, they were there to help, and give me follow up care. All this just comes out of the National Insurance I pay - other than that it didn't cost me a penny.

If I go back on the pill, they'll provide that for me for free again.

It makes me mad that I and everyone else has this easy access to care in our country (even though it's far from perfect at times!), but that the US Senate wants to take any help at all away from women desperately in need. As I'm not a US citizen I can't easily make my voice heard, but being able to donate means that I feel like a done something, which has helped ease the ball of anger a little!

Dan, I just wanted to thank you for posting that link for Planned Parenthood donation. I live in the UK, and when I was 17 I got pregnant through my own stupidity, I was lucky enough that our own NHS was there to help me out and pick up the pieces.

Again, when I had a miscarriage aged 22, as a result of a rare condition, they were there to help, and give me follow up care. All this just comes out of the National Insurance I pay - other than that it didn't cost me a penny.

If I go back on the pill, they'll provide that for me for free again.

It makes me mad that I and everyone else has this easy access to care in our country (even though it's far from perfect at times!), but that the US Senate wants to take any help at all away from women desperately in need. As I'm not a US citizen I can't easily make my voice heard, but being able to donate means that I feel like a done something, which has helped ease the ball of anger a little!

Regarding benjamin - have at it - I had me a young one - if it's sex they are usually willing. And what they lack in expertise they usually make up for in enthusiasm.

As far as Planned Parenthood - when are those A##H****s gonna let women control their own bodies. As a vetern of Women's Liberation of the 70's - why are we still having to fight this fight!!

I support Planned Parenthood and am extremely pro-choice, and I wish that bill had not been enacted. But I have to point out that saying "my body, my choice" leaves out a crucial bit: "my body, my choice, their money."

There's a huge problem with the cost of medical care in this country, and the federal government is not the only body responsible. It's a very expensive, intricate dance between insurance companies and medical providers. The fact that health care providers are allowed to bill on two tiers: an astronomical one to insurance companies (keeping insurance rates high), and a lower tier for people without insurance.

To Mrs R,
I will take you at your word, and will not email you. I'm old enough to be your dad, and my wife, of 38 years, well, lets just say she is not as "liberated" as you and your hubby are. Good luck to you!

@145: The US Senate doesn't want to take the help away; it's the US House of Representatives. In case you're not up on the nuances of American politics, the House is currently crazy right-wing but the Senate isn't, and both houses need to pass a bill, so there's no way in the world this bill will ever pass. It's political theater.

If I were in am exclusive relationship and I went an entire week without PIV sex, without a good reason, I think I would end the relationship. This has never happened to me and it would suggest to me a serious problem. Is this really normal for some people?

Getting turned down over and over seven days in a row does not seem like a healthy relationship: something's wrong there. She's either not attracted to him or they have severely mismatched sex drives.

Feel free to call me names and insult me, as many of the comments did to FEEBLE for being the high-sex-drive partner, but do people really just deal with this kind of sexual rejection in a relationship? It's supposed to be normal?

@1154: True, the text is ambiguous. We don't know what actually happened and it's a little better if she didn't decline him for the previous seven days (though I would still be worried and upset if my partner didn't want sex right away after a week apart).

But if she did decline him for the previous week, this is hardly a routine denial-of-services situation: how many of those are described as dating an amazing GGG girl and having amazing sex? To me, that's the interesting part.

@143 (mamatat), it seems to me you didn't really read FEEBLE's letter; he is implying almost none of the assumptions you so richly make about their life together. Hunter, the Prof and badgirl are right that he didn't make a case (no long-term denial implied), but neither has he claimed that he 'always want to be serviced 24/7'. That's your assumption, as likely to be wrong as right.

Even worse than conservatives who worry about Viagra prescriptions are people who project their worst-case scenario on other people's plea for help. Those who are so trigger-happy they see bad people doing bad things to others everywhere.

Life is not that simple.

For more straight-to-the-point advice, check out www.bulletmouth.com.

For more straight-to-the-point advice, check out www.bulletmouth.com.

I know that this response is to something waaay earlier in the thread, but I wanted to mention that birth control pills are used for more than preventing pregnancy. I have dysmenorrhea, so my doctor prescribed be birth control pills to ease the pain every month. Previously, I was incapacitated by cramps two or three days a month and had week-long, very heavy periods on a twenty-three day cycle (which led to me becoming anemic from the time I hit puberty) but now I'm functional all month long except on rare occasions. Without the pill, I'd be in some serious trouble, health-wise.

And it isn't just me. Many of my friends at college have done the same thing for the same problem.

I agree that pregnancy is a major health event, but sometimes people want to play the blame game. That's why I wanted to point out that these services are necessary in other cases.

@147

Planned Parenthood gets about $350 million a year from the federal government. That is not very much, actually. The government spends a fuckton more on bullshit like the war on drugs and god knows whatever ridiculous pork congress finances (like bridges to nowhere). The whole "oh it's MY money going to something that has nothing to do with me, BAAAAAD!" argument gets stupider with every telling. Do you actually know where all of your tax money goes? No. No one does. Whine about something that is actually wasteful.

"Which one of us needs to be GGG in this scenario, should it happen again?"

I'm surprised no one picked up on the obvious tone of the last sentence in the tool's post. This kid is just looking for some drama and wanting to have a "tit-for-tat" type situation where he drags up every tiny little thing that he "did" for the other person in his "relationship" so he can he is "right." He isn't ready to be in a relationship with a real person because he is too busy turning the women who have the misfortune to be with him into "mummy" or rather, in America, "mommy."

What #122 said. Geez, I'm planning to be getting action when I'm twice that age. Twice.

I'm a 38 year old woman and recently had the pleasure of a 20 year old man. WOW!!!! They are eager to please, open to suggestion and they want to learn. One of the best nights of my life. We are seeing each other on a regular basis and we actually have things in common. Go ahead call me Mrs. Robinson, but I'm having great sex and educating a young man on how to truly pleasure a woman.

@163 - Glad you found one who is eager to please and open to suggestion. Good for you, enjoy many more "best nights." What makes think your sweetie is representative of young men in general, rather than being a particularly open-minded young gentleman?

"This isn't just an attack on American women."

As a man I say, so what if it was just that? Citizens face social realities and those social realities almost inevitably become political realities. The community of a state should give a shit about political realities, not the least of which being abortion services. The political reality of abortion is it has happened for millenia, and when services were unavailable and where services are currently unavailable, the numbers of abortions do not decrease. Rather, hospitals have to set up whole additional wards to deal with all the sepsis, bleeding and death that back-alley abortion entails. Don't be apart of a society if you are not going to give a shit about political realities. And please don't participate if all you care about it is a personal conception of the good that precludes the common liberal and republican (in the theoretical not colloquial sense) principles of an American society.

As a canadian, however, I can't do a damn thing but sit and watch.

Thanks for lousing up this week's column with Planned Parenthood propaganda. I'd like to know why MBMC does not have health insurance. If she makes too much to qualify for Medicaid, has she looked into other options?

No matter what you think about PP, the federal government has got to start cutting off private organizations and people living off the tax payer. We can't afford it anymore and we are already leaving our children a mountain of public debt and a bleak future. I wish the feds would fund dog and cat shelters and spay and neuter programs to end the millions of healthy animals euthanized each year, but again, no money.

Surely PP, like PBS, could raise all of the money they need from individuals. Also, I look forward to those in favor of PP federal funding to support stopping it once the healthcare law is passed and we're all supposed to be covered.

On Wisconsin, I'm sick of this being twisted as anti-union. It is attempting to reform "public" unions whose pension and other benefits are bankrupting state and local governments. I'm in the private sector and pay 20% of my health care premiums (in addition to co-pays and deductibles) and I have no pension at all, except a 401K that my employer pays nothing into. So I don't want to hear crybabies who are being asked to partially pay for the pension and benefits they will receive (sometimes after just 20 years of service).

FDR was against public employee unions and rightly so. Unions were needed in the era of greedy industrialists who abused labor. If your elected government is your employer you don't need a union.

I’m with Aurora, you missed the mark, Dan.
This guy wasn’t expecting a GGG girl, we was expecting a love doll. It was soooo difficult for him to wait one day. And he still got what he wanted! And oh, having to get himself off was soooo unfulfilling.
In a relationship, you are owed a healthy over all sex life, but you are not owed sex every time you’re in the mood. Maybe she was having a hard week, maybe she was sick. When I got pregnant, my sex drive dropped like a stone, and it’s still not all the way back up. Sex was painful, and I was tired. My husband pressured me all the time for sex. At first I was happy to help him out when I wasn’t in the mood, but after a few weeks of being constantly pressured, I became resentful, which dropped my sex drive even further. After a month of this, I was NEVER in the mood, because I no longer associated sex with fun, it was just something I did as a duty. It took me months of telling him that he would get more if he asked for less before he chilled out a bit. Then it was a few more months of no pressure (not no sex, but him waiting for me to initiate) before I was able to reset my mental wiring and see sex as a no pressure thing anymore. Now I even initiate hand jobs, blow jobs, etc when I’m not in the mood for full sex, and happily help him out when I’m not- but it’s because he never pressures me; I get to do it of my own accord.
Constantly pressuring someone to have sex or even “help you out” when they’re not just sleepy, but also not at all turned on… well, it isn’t rape but it isn’t good either. And if it continues, it’s a good way to foster resentment and never get laid by them willingly again.

Hahaha @ 171....

You are right....ever been to a swing club? Tons of hot women there. The guys? Ummmm, not so much....I guess they all have money or something.

Reminds me of the old joke....anyone can get laid anytime they want really. All that you need to do is lower your standards.

Oh Lord, checked out Ashley and the men on there are not worth the time. pretty poor pickings. better luck on campus somewhere.

@170 "it isn’t rape but it isn’t good either."

Exactly! If we stopped focusing so much on that one line between consensual and nonconsensual sex, maybe we could start fixing some of the BAD ( but consensual) sex that is out there. Just say no to BAD SEX!

Hey this is Lourdes the homely girl. Thanks so much for all your sweet comments, you guys! You cheered me up. #35: Yes, that's exactly my point: Pretty much by definition, people, whether attractive or unattractive, are attracted to attractive people and not attracted to unattractive people. Tautological but true. But I also appreciate the point made made by several other posters that attractiveness is not %100 fixed and predetermined. There is wiggle room in there. Thanks again to all you wiggly folks out there for reminding me!

To MRSB, to Dan, and to all others involved in a scenario like MRSB describes: I want to tell you how to do it right, because this is just what happened to me:

MRSB should become friends with a young WOMAN, around the age of the kind of guy she wants to lay. When you are having a private conversation with this woman friend, after you're confident you can trust her judgment, you can mention that you want to have an affair with a guy her age. She will know at least one hot guy who will jump at the chance to enjoy such an exciting relationship.

In my case, the wonderful older lady was in her fifties and I was just past 30 when a girl I was dating asked me if I would like to meet an older woman for NSA sex. It turned out to be one of the best experiences since time began.

I just gave $50 to planned Parenthood. come on, peeps: it's important!

@177

That's the most circuitous route to a cock ever suggested.

@GymGoth - you are DOUCHE BAG.

Planned Parenthood provides essential services. The House & legislators nationwide are campaigning to eliminate essential health services for women.

Planned Parenthood is subsidized for people who can't afford health care. We subsidize health care for our legislators, who can afford it. We subsidize health care for corporations, through immense biz tax breaks. We subsidize warfare to the tune of billions & billions for zero payoff. We JUST SUBSIDIZED CONTRACEPTIVES FOR HORSES.

The fact is, we fund what we value. Women's healthcare is not up for bargaining. Taking away the healthcare services for people who need when it literally cost 1/10 of a penny by each taxpayer, is idiotic & will not stand.

@GymSoth (167): Okay, the "If she makes too much to qualify for Medicaid" bit pisses me off in the amount of ignorance it shows.

I'm twenty-six years old. In the state I live in (Missouri), I am TOO OLD for Medicaid. Let me repeat that: too old. In my state, you have to be age nineteen or younger to qualify, regardless of what you make. There are exactly three exceptions to this in my state:

1) You can have family planning Medicaid (i.e, Medicaid that pays for birth control) IF AND ONLY IF you ALREADY HAVE CHILDREN. Period. End of story. I guess the assumption is that if you haven't got pregnant so far, you don't need any help not getting that way. (And it completely doesn't address the issue of childless/childfree women who need birth control pills as a hormonal treatment for illnesses like PCOS or dysmenorrhea.)

2) If you become pregnant (which, y'know, you might if you can't afford birth control, since Medicaid won't subsidize it), you will be covered for the duration of the pregnancy. The baby will qualify after the birth if you're poor enough, but YOU will not. If you have any postpartum health issues, sucks to be you. There's no coverage there.

3) You can get sixty days of emergency Medicaid for a physical catastrophe. To give you an idea of what that physical catastrophe might be, my mother got it when one of her moles became cancerous and both it and a lymph node underneath it needed to be removed. It covered the surgery, and a few tests before and after. The end. Outside of that sixty day period, there was no coverage. My stepfather has injured his back to the point that he hasn't physically been able to work for a year, but they won't cover him; my brother had kidney stones last year that took him out of work for a month, but they didn't cover him, either; my sister just had meningitis, and couldn't get any Medicaid coverage for that, either.

My stepfather's medical care is currently paid for out of pocket, which meant that he and my mother lost their house. My brother is $8,000 in debt for the kidney stones. My sister was lucky enough to have friends who pooled together to help her.

THAT'S reality. Medicaid does not cover enough people, or enough healthcare services. I wish it did, but it doesn't.

And people think that cutting off other healthcare services is a good idea?

Everybody in my family are taxpayers. The system they put into should be there for them when they need its help. That was, I thought, KIND OF THE POINT of paying into it. You wanna talk about "something for nothing?" Talk to the corporations getting tax breaks while they outsource labor to India and come up with scheduling schemes to bilk their full-time employees in the U.S out of employer health coverage.

I don't know why MBMC bothered me so much... maybe it's because she doesn't feel the responsibility to take charge of her life completely... she expects others to foot the bill for her choices that are not within her means. There are a lot of things I want in life that I do without because I can't afford them and don't expect others to foot the bill for me. Pap Smear is a health thing, I don't have a problem with that... birth control and abortions are a personal/life style choice. Maybe she should just learn to keep her knees together until she can support the lifestyle she wants which includes paying for her own birth control or abortions...
Until then, at age 23, she's no better than an immature horny teenage. Maybe she needs to grow up before she has sex with partners.
I'd buy her a vibrator and batteries until she is mature enough to handle adulthood.

I don't know why MBMC bothered me so much... maybe it's because she doesn't feel the responsibility to take charge of her life completely... she expects others to foot the bill for choices that are not within her means. There are a lot of things I want in life that I do without because I can't afford them and I don't expect others to foot the bill for me.
Pap Smear is a health thing, I don't have a problem with that...and support her choice to a reduced price clinic - ultimately, I see that as preventative maintenence.
Birth control and abortions are a personal/life style choice. Maybe she should just learn to keep her knees together until she can support the lifestyle she wants which includes paying for her own birth control or abortions... as she chooses.
Until then, at age 23, she's no better than an immature horny teenage. She needs to grow up before she has sex with partners.
I'd buy her a vibrator and batteries until she is mature enough to handle adulthood.