@221 Your joke was funny - sorry for stepping on it. (My emoticon was supposed to show that I got your joke and was building on it.)

@220: On squirting: It's not just intensity that causes squirting. It usually requires a very specific type of G-spot stimulation (for some women, getting pounded in doggy, for some women, getting fingered hard and fast at the right angle...). When you finger a girl who's about to squirt you can feel the fluid building up right where you're fingering, and you can feel when it's about to "pop."

So, I don't think it's just intensity that causes squirting. It's a specific physical response to a specific physical stimulation. And that response tends to make orgasm feel better. Though not always, and you certainly can have intense orgasms without squirting.

On flirting (hey, it rhymes...): I think it's more than just being nice or teasing; it usually has some sexual component. And for a lot of people, it's a way of building attraction and vetting a potential SO. ;)

Maybe I misunderstood you, but when you mentioned "emotionally cheating" I thought you meant getting too close to someone, regardless of whether or not there's attraction involved. So it's not a problem for you if there's no attraction?

Anyway, it's awesome that you found a relationship (though in my mind, not a strictly monogamous one!) that works well for you, and it just goes to show that what one person is uncomfortable with, another person thinks is no big deal. The way you feel about flirting, I might feel about sex or dating.

I guess I'm impressed/amazed that it worked out so mutually where you wanted the same things; there's often some amount of tension and power struggles between people as they try to find a compromise.

We all have struggles in our relationships, just sometimes we luck out in certain departments.

With flirting: I don't consider myself flirtatious - but the way I interact with people is often seen as flirting. Sorry, I guess it wasn't clear.

With your other question... well, now we're getting down to the very base components of what we think makes a relationship different from a friendship so I'll just say how I feel. For me there are three seperate (and fairly discrete) kinds of attractions/interactions.

1. Friendly/emotional. By itself this is a platonic relationship. This is how I feel about all my friends.

2. Sexual. Self explainatory, right? Physical/sexual attraction.

3. Romantic. A lot of people... possibly including yourself don't distinguish this from just having both 1 and 2 at the same time, but for me it's really it's own unique feeling. There's friends I've had that I was close with and that I slept with but I didn't have real "feelings" for. But this one can't really exist without both of the first two, either.

Emotional cheating in my books is if the person shares part 3. So when you described dating as sharing 'romantic' time. That's what made my airways close up. :P

So if someone I'm with shares the first bond with someone, I'm okay with that. If there's no sexual attraction, it's non-threatening, because the romantic thing isn't a possibility. Does that make sense?

@222

ok.

Just have to say that female ejaculate is real. The first time I did, I was masturbating, and it freaked me out. This was when I was in my 30's. My doctor had never heard of this and told me not to drink too much water before sex.
I am in my 70's now and even when I begin to arouse myself, the puddle begins and when I climax.. 2 towels, please.
My last lover always got towels ready and a washcloth for his face. I really would like this to go away, or lessen, but even on urine incontince pills, it still is happening in quantity.

Hunter78 Chill out, if monogamy isn't for you fine, if My Driasis only wants monogamy equally fine. You don't really who My Driasis is and unless you claim clairvoyance you don't have a clue what the future may bring. She could just as easily drop dead tomorrow for all you know. Many here sing the praises of non-monogamy, which gets to equally tiresome after a while. Sometimes it seems like they are whistling while walking through a graveyard. So unless you are going to censor both sides (may be you have)just let it lie. I'm sure some people find you annoying as well. If you are offended by what is posted here you can always go elsewhere.

@227/228

bitter middle-aged men tend to find everyone's joy annoying.

but in any case, I wasn't proselytizing without any reason - I was responding to questions. beenthere's right, nonmonogamy is often touted here as being better than sliced bread. I'm just being a wee bit of a counterpoint.

@224: I understand completely. So you didn't mean emotional cheating, you meant specifically romantic cheating.

I asked because I've heard the term "emotional cheating" used in a really fucked-up controlling way, as in, having strong platonic (your type 1) emotions for someone else being "cheating."

BTW, there are asexuals who have romantic attraction without sexual attraction, which I find incredibly interesting.

@228: Yeah, I've been wondering if there's a good way for women who normally squirt to be able to stop squirting in situations where there aren't towels handy. I haven't found one yet: anyone know of one?

@231

Yeah, they're odd ducks :)
And yeah... "romantic cheating" might be more accurate, but most people would interpret that as... traditional cheating. I dont' know. In any case, I'd agree with you that cutting off type 1 (friends and family) is controlling.

I'm not sure why something--e.g. monogamy, or non-monogamy--being "extreme" necessarily makes it bad. For example, is it worse to want non-monogamy that involves an open-door policy on partners outside the relationship, than it is to want the "monogamish" relationship that still includes some sex with other people?

What's wrong with "extreme" monogamy where both parties agree to no sex with others, no romantic entanglements, and no flirting (not sure how flirting is defined, but for now I'll just say, gestures that would show romantic or sexual interest)? I don't want to have relationships of that kind with other people, and I don't want my partner to do that either. If that's too "controlling", he could have rejected those terms, or he still could. It's fine with me if he spends time with other friends, or goes to lunch with them, or hangs out with other gals. I've met many lovely friends who first were friends with my husband. But that doesn't mean he can flirt with them, or go on dates, or become emotionally or sexually involved with them. Same is true for me with male friends.

To me, "controlling" would mean wanting to deprive my husband of innocent, normal friendships with other women (or men). But it's not controlling for me to ask that he not become involved with them in some other sense.

@Hunter78: why does it matter if mydriasis changes her mind about monogamy? I've changed my mind about it, to being in favor. Maybe someday it will lose its charm. That doesn't mean anything about its general value, though.

@160: though it may not be entirely similar, have you ever examined male ejaculate that didn't have sperm in it?

@236: I have, with and without sperm, and it's exactly the same. The sperm are so small and such a minute part of the semen that you can't tell the difference without a microscope.

People,
Pee smells like pee, female ejaculate does not smell like pee - do you see the logic here? Therefore female ejaculate IS NOT PEE!

Monogam-ish makes me laugh. Its how I explain my religion to people and why I can eat bacon and lobster, I am Jew-ish....

Many guys would be insecure with a gf who strips in a rich-guys club. I agree the bf is clingy but that is a separate issue. Sounds like they are simply not compatible.

Just like guys can't cum and piss at the same time, neither can women. I am a multi-orgasmic woman who squirts. I've had many partners and been monogamous, and here's what I can tell you.
1. Every squirt is an orgasm, but not every orgasm squirts.
2. The likelihood of squirting goes up the more I like a guy, so that's physiological, where an orgasm is simply physical.
3. Sometimes it's just a trickle of a teaspoon or so. Sometimes it's a gush of maybe a 1/4 cup. One lady here said it's "projectile".
I believe her. But if you're watching porn, and you see someone aim, they have to be peeing.
4. It's not pee. I've tasted other women. And I've tasted myself off my sweetie's whiskers, and I'm delicious!

Just like guys can't cum and piss at the same time, neither can women. I am a multi-orgasmic woman who squirts. I've had many partners and been monogamous, and here's what I can tell you.
1. Every squirt is an orgasm, but not every orgasm squirts.
2. The likelihood of squirting goes up the more I like a guy, so that's physiological, where an orgasm is simply physical.
3. Sometimes it's just a trickle of a teaspoon or so. Sometimes it's a gush of maybe a 1/4 cup. One lady here said it's "projectile". I believe her. But if you're watching porn, and you see someone aim, they have to be peeing.
So a device wouldn't work, there's not enough force.
4. It's not pee. I've tasted other women. And I've tasted myself off my sweetie's whiskers, and I'm delicious!

Squirting is not a myth.

I am able to squirt. Once you get it and practice you know it. It's like riding a bike - you don't forget. I've reached 6 feet (at least on my own because with a partner it hits there face/hand/chest so it's hard to measure!) and soaked towels through (up to a liter or even more can ejaculate by the end of a session sometimes.) I have impermeable bed-wetting pads that I place under me or my partner whenever I need it. They cost about $20 at walmart.

Just to start, there is a difference between cum and ejaculate from a woman, the ejaculate from squirting is clear, consistency of water........and tastes much different.

Now to squirt. It's often more due to the girl than the guy. How much she can let go, etc.

You need to know your g spot. Well. Squirting works like this (At least how it works for me.) Fill up your glands by clitoral stimulation and then work on your g spot. Once you squirt go back to clitoral stimulation to fill up the glands again. Then work on your g spot to squirt. Repeat as desired. ;)

Tips. Decrease the worries. Don't be afraid to pee. (It doesn't like peeing at all after you've done it - but at first some might mistake it for that feeling because as women we are not used to ejaculating things from our body other than pee.) If you want pee right before you masturbate so that you aren't worried whatsoever. Also, prepare a towel so that when it happens you don't worry.

Make sure you are comfortable and can let go.

However, I find squirting fun and wonderful but not the most mind-blowing orgasms. The best orgrasm I have had is extended orgasms.

So that's one thing I have found hard to reproduce - the extended orgasm. I'd done it a handful of times - and it was amazing - once I reached that insane point - orgasms one after another for a solid hour with just a little coaxing. (The poor guy was a bit scared for me!) Involuntary contractions here and there still an hour or two after we were done.

Absolutely MIND-BLOWING

squirting is great but it can sometimes become mechanical and not reach that height or state of some orgasms because you are constantly releasing when you squirt. Makes sense?

Once you learn how to squirt it's so easy to fall into that pattern of quick release rather than sometimes stopping the squirting to allow the orgasm to build for a very long time so it just shatters you.

It's just a very different orgasm when you squirt. But still fantastic.

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