JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST, stop with the AA lingo and just own your shit and respond authentically. I know, I know... it's really hard for you to do ANYTHING authentically since you haven't decided yet if you're a metrosexual hipster or a spiritual naturalist—or would that be a metrosexual naturalist or spiritual hipster?—or just GAY. For what it's worth, I and most people I know have our money on GAY—AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, you fucking piece of shit—but please, for the love of Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and all angels we have heard on high, just make up your own GODDAMN AUTHENTIC mind already so the rest of us can settle up.

Do not EVER AGAIN try to justify your behavior in the last two years of our marriage with your drinking. I see that only as your attempt to blame your awful behavior on something other than just simply being the shitty person that you are. Remember: Your drinking did not lead to your awful, narcissistic, arrogant, self-centered, douchebaggy behavior. No, dickface, it was your awful, narcissistic, arrogant, self-centered, douchebaggy behavior that led to your drinking. BIG difference. HUGE.

Suck my dick,