I can't afford all these fancy places that are moving into my neighborhood. I also can't afford to buy organic all that often, and when I have a nice group of people over to eat food that didn't cost me all that much because I can shop the markdown or 50-percent-off sections, I just hope they don't get all mad because it's not grass-fed, gluten-free, non-phthalate, or non-PBA, or whatever else it's supposed to be in my middle-class subset. The thing is, you can't afford any of that stuff either—while you've been Instagramming your braised lamb cheek and sweet-potato-and-shaved-fennel croquettes and telling me (for the 16th fucking time) that I need to go to Mamnoon, right after I told you I have $500 in student loan bills to pay back each month, your rent just went up. I'm all for great food, but for once, can we just go to Pho Bac on Rainier instead?