Is your dog a real ding-dong? Your cat a complete moron? Your turtle a total tool? We want to hear about it! Movies are full of Labradors that rescue families from house fires, and while we love heroic pets as much as anyone, don’t you think they’re a little overplayed? A little basic? They get all the love. Instead, this contest shines the spotlight on the underdogs. Tell us about your boxer who broke into your pantry to eat a brick of chocolate for the third time in one week, or your cat who keeps running into a glass window to try to catch a bird outside, or your guinea pig who keeps crawling into your socks and getting stuck. Write up a funny, true description of a pet you love and cherish despite how stupid it is, attach a photo, and your fluffy/scaly/feathery (but freaking stupid!) pet may have its gorgeous face featured on the cover of an upcoming issue of The Stranger.