Dear Science,
I think my girlfriend is faking her orgasms. Is there any way,
scientifically, to figure out if an orgasm is real or not?
Empirically Aroused
Sweaty feet are a good place to start. Having an orgasm, at least to
your autonomic nervous system, is akin to being chased by a lion or getting into a drunken bar fight. For men and women, the medical
school mnemonic (you’d be horrified to find out how most medical
students pass their tests) for sex is “point and shoot,” because it’s
the parasympathetic nervous system—the feed-and-breed
regulator—that handles arousal, getting all hot and bothered,
erect and wet. Only at the moment of orgasm does the sympathetic
nervous system—the fight-or-flight, adrenaline-rush
regulator—take over and end the show. If you want an objective
measure of an orgasm that doesn’t require specialized equipment,
graduate students to operate it, and a multiple-Tesla magnet, Science
suggests you look for sympathetic nervous system signs: a jump in heart
rate, a sudden dilation of the pupils, or sweaty palms and feet.
You aren’t the only one wondering. Drug designers, fresh from the
victorious conquest of flaccid erections in men, are ready for new
territory. Upon discovering women 30 or so years
ago—hello, ladies—scientists have been busily
testing orgasm-detecting machines in inherently, awkwardly hilarious
experiments. Let’s consider the latest idea: clitoral MRI. (A Seattle invention! Go UW!) First the volunteers were placed in an
environment that really set the mood—a superchilled tube that
made regular clanking noises. Next, the stimulation (take it away,
journal article) “consisted of a 15-minute segment of neutral
documentary video, followed by a 15-minute segment of sexually explicit
stimulus material (AVSS), which was then followed by a second 15-minute
segment of neutral video.” In essence: Nova, porn,
Nova—a typical Friday evening for most scientists.
The MRI looked for the female erection. You know, swelling of the
clitoral tissue around the vagina. But most of the objective scientific
tests are about as accurate as sweaty feet.
Have you thought about asking? Your partner might
otherwise wonder why you keep reaching for her feet or shining lights
in her eyes at her moment of (provisional) ecstasy. Questionnaires are
the most frequently used scientific test used to determine if women are
coming to orgasm, still the gold standard for sexuality research. But
filling out bubble sheets might prove awkward in the bedroom. Just hold
your girlfriend’s palms, look deeply in her eyes, and you’ll have all
the data you need.
Rousingly Yours,
Science
Send your science questions to
