Look, bitch, I just sat down to eat a sandwich in a public park.
It’s not like I called your dog over. Your dog just didn’t want to play
with you and wanted to stare at my sandwich, instead. Now, as it turns
out, I pretty much like dogs, but I don’t like begging while I’m trying
to eat. So although I was not actively hostile to your dog, I didn’t
feed your goddamned dog. When I went to throw away the wrapper, your
dog was all over the crumbs like he hadn’t eaten in a week. And you
bitched me out about how I shouldn’t feed other peoples dogs, it could
give them diarrhea. Nice. Look lady, I was in a public park, which has
no off-leash area, to eat my goddamned sandwich and now you’re all up
in my face about giving your dog diarrhea. This is really not a
conversation that I volunteered for. I don’t like you. Your dog doesn’t
seem to like you, either. I bet your dog still wouldn’t play with you
after I left. I bet your dog wouldn’t play with you if you tied a
goddamned pork chop around your neck.