I noticed you “unfriended” me. That’s okay, I know you’re not used
to maintaining friendships with your exes. I looked you up again
anyway, and I see that you have a new girl. She’s really hot, and I’m
sure you two have way more in common than we did. We could never have
made it; we’re too different: I’m going to graduate school in a year,
and you dropped out of high school. You were gorgeous, though, and the
greatest lover I’ve ever had. Just so you know, you’re the only actual
person I ever think about while masturbating (I still do—I
figured you’d like that). The rest are always imaginary, because no one
is ever perfect enough. You’re not perfect by any means, but damn…
you were worth it. I hope you enjoy your life.
—Anonymous
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