Goddamn “God Bless America” is ruining baseball. It used to be that a visit to the ballpark was an escape to a better world—until right after 9/11, when the jingoistic jingle elbowed aside “Take Me Out to the Ball Game.” I understand why fear drives people to wear their flag and religion on their sleeve (even though the other guys are killing for God, too). But get over it! The world has always been a dangerous place—anarchists tried to blow up Wall Street in September 1920. It’s no excuse to shove your religion and patriotism (the last refuge of tyrants and scoundrels) down my throat and the throats of my children in a Faustian bargain for a day at the ballpark. “Don’t be an asshole,” you say. “‘God Bless America’ isn’t any more religious than ‘The Star-Spangled Banner.'” Okay, we’ll compromise. I’ll be happy with equal time for John Lennon’s “Imagine” over the Safeco Field loudspeakers. What’s that you say? Too political? Atheistic? BINGO!

—Anonymous

78 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  1. I swear I didn’t write this. If I had, I would have mentioned that GBA is Dubya’s personal national anthem. It was part of the deal he struck with Bud Fucking Selig when they talked about resuming MLB games post 9/11. In trade, Bud got Dubya to throw out a first pitch at a Yankees game.
    NOw, a decade later, that corrupt bargain has resulted in stadium personnel treating GBA during the 7th inning stretch like a second national anthem. Take off your hat, no walking down the aisles, etc.

  2. This is a complaint you can’t attach your name to? If this is the best you can do, you will be hearing that song at your games for a long time to come.

  3. Reminds me of a news story I read where some teens were thrown out of a ball park for not standing up when they sang “God Bless America”. I thought it was bullshit. If it was the “Star-Spangled Banner”, then I would understand the outrage, but “God Bless America”? As far as I’m concerned, it’s no more special than any other song, and I see no reason why one should have to stand up for it.

  5. I agree. It’s not even the national anthem, anyway, The Star Spangled Banner is. Fortunately for me, I don’t like watching sports anyway.

  6. Wow. They’ve ALWAYS played the Star Spangled Banner and God Bless America at sports games. Games are our favorite opportunities as a nation to show exactly how xenopho-er, proud we are.

  10. Hey mutley, separation of state and sports…..you hear of it? Pretty important amendment to the constitution! Studied it in school. Remember school? ….hmmmmm….I wonder…….

  12. Shoving athiesm down your kids throat is no better than shoving religion down there. And too bad this guy’s kids memories of the ball park will be about Dad bitching over a song. Glad too live in a country where something so trivial qualifies as a problem.

  13. Do they do this at Safeco? I don’t ever recall hearing God Bless America at a baseball game, just the national anthem, take me out the ball game & Louie Louie.

  14. at a yankee game, i once refused to stand for ‘god bless in america’ as a protest to the then coming war in iraq. yeah, i almost got attacked. it was 100% worth it.

  15. I agree with the I, Anonymous contributor. My family just leaves its seats and returns when the no-value-added warbling is over. Me, I either leave with them, or crank up my mp3 player or sing “The Maple Leaf Forever.”

  16. I love Steven Weissman’s depiction of the flag-holding literal meathead being bothered by the peanut’s “pish-tosh”.

  18. where do we get off telling god what to do, anyway? shouldn’t he blight us for our presumption or insubordination or something? i’ve never been religious, so i’m not sure what happens next…floods? oh, i think i remember–it’s supposed to be fire this time, right?

  20. The best thing about this is that it is signed by anonymous. I could have written it myself. I wish I would’ve. Sports are political enough on their own to be mixing government and religion into them…
    Thank you anonymous, for writing this for the rest of us.
    Best to you,
    Anonymous too.

  21. It’s a crappy song, anyways. I wish they would go with God Bless the USA instead. Not that I’m religious, it’s just that that song brings out the hick in all of us. What could be more American than that?

    The only times I actually want to wrap myself in the flag and get all jingoistic are on the Fourth of July, and when we shoot Osama bin Laden in the face. We should really do that more often.

  22. What the hell? I went to a Cubbies game a few weeks ago, and all we had was The Star-Spangled Banner before the game and then Take Me Out To The Ball Game during the 7th-Inning Stretch. What the fuck, other baseball teams?

  23. This is not a trivial issue. Religious intolerance is destroying my country and shredding what’s left of democracy. Try being fired from a job because you’re not the “right” kind of person (read: fundamentalist Christian supremicist) and you’ll understand why I not only refuse to stand during GBA, but I refuse to spend a penny going to a game where the damned song is worshiped.

  24. I’m sorry, but if GBA in any way interferes with the sausage races or the Beer Barrel Polka at Milwaukee Brewers games, life is not worth living. It took my first ballgame at a stadium OTHER than Milwaukee to figure out that not everyone sings the Beer Barrel Polka at 7th inning stretch.

  25. “In God We Trust” has only been on our cash since 1958, and they’re considering removing it. I know someone who says she’ll stop using cash if that happens…LOL…good luck with that. And you are completely within your rights NOT to stand during that or Star Spangled Banner. It’s that whole ‘free country’ ‘freedom of speech’ sort of thing. There is no law you must stand.

  26. @12: One doesn’t shove atheism down anyone’s throats. Doing so is by definition unnecessary, because it’s the only conclusion to arrive at when a thinking person approaches life rationally.

  29. @25: That’s one reason to always carry a black Sharpie marker with you. The ridiculous “IGWT” nonsense can be easily blotted out and the currency returned to circulation.

  35. Hell yes, GBA isn’t traditional, detracts from the REAL tradition of Take Me Out to the Ballgame, and it’s just a shitty fucking song. Turn it off and get back to the baseball.

  37. At MOST Safeco games, “Take Me OUt to the Ballgame” is played and sung during the 7th Inning Stretch, followed by “Louie, Louie”.

    They will, occasionally, substitute GBA, on “special” days, holidays, etc.

    I agree, I HATE that song, but it has mostly gone away.

  40. Seriously, an Irving Berlin song is really what gets you? Jesus dude, you’ve got a great life if that’s what you are bitching about. Take pride in your country much you shitfuck? Next time you have to “endure” the song try closing your eyes and thinking about the millions of soldiers who have died defending our country in wars they had no choice fighting in so you can sit down in the confines of a nice stadium, surrounded by people who won’t riot and slit your throat, and sip a cold beer while you chomp on some food. Be fucking grateful your life is so easy you moronic faggotized fuckstain.

    Yeah, it’s so, just fucking…horribly…positive?
    *************************************************
    “While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,
    Let us swear allegiance to a land that’s free,
    Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,
    As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer. ”

    God Bless America,
    Land that I love.
    Stand beside her, and guide her
    Thru the night with a light from above.
    From the mountains, to the prairies,
    To the oceans, white with foam
    God bless America, My home sweet home
    **************************************************

  41. @ 12,

    Yes, it’s horrible shoving facts, and science, and the truth down a child’s throat. Just as bad as telling a child it’s “ok” that the priest molested them because 2000 years ago God magically raped a virgin minor so their resulting zombie son can “save” us from sin. Yep, just as awful. Heck, it’s just as bad as ripping out the still-beating hearts of pre-Columbian meso-Americans and offering them up to Huitzilopochtli so the world doesn’t end. In fact, Atheism is just as bad as blowing yourself up in front of a bus stop crowded with school children so 64-72 virgins will be awaiting your murdering a$$ in Heaven. Yep, teaching your kids actual real sh*t is just as bad as religion!

  43. @12 – we live in a country where people are free to bitch & complain about anything under the sun and beyond.

    @7 & @8 – nice troll attempt.

    @everyone else – it’s a stupid fucking song. Yeah it has little to no place & safeco but it’s a minor annoyance that we as seattleites can do something about. Just ask them to stop. You’re a fan. Get loud enough & they will listen. We do it to ticket prices all the time.

    @23 – you are a very angry person.

  45. On Memorial Day weekend, once again liberals show their hatred of this country.

    On the other hand we truly are blessed to live in a nation where contemptible people like this anonymous coward and the collected evangelical atheists posting can spout their disgusting bilge. God Bless America.

  49. “God Bless America” is a poorly written song: it doesn’t flow easily, the lyrics are awkward and hard to remember, and the melody is just plain thorny. It’s better suited to a horn band than human voices anyway. For that matter, “The Star Spangled Banner” has a huge range and is inappropriate for your average person (who has at most a range of a fifth) to sing. The lyrics are clumsy (who thought of using the challenging “whose broad stripes” to put at the place where you have to walk down to the lowest note anyway?). “America the Beautiful” is MUCH better. The melody is in stepwise motion (easy to sing!), the images are powerful and beautiful, and it’s every bit as patriotic as the others. WTF?

  50. Oh fuck you you fuckig fuck headed fuck wad. If you don’t like the fucking song take the cock out of your mouth and stick it in your good ear. And by all means stay the fuck away from the motherfucking ballpark you fuck.

  52. haha but seriously religious people, keep it the fuck in church once in a while will ya? not everyone wants to hear your superstitious nonsense all the fuckin’ time.

  53. They do not play GBA at Safeco lately, just good ol’ Take Me Out to the Ballgame. Chill the fuck out.
    – Mariner’s Season Ticket Holder

  54. The GBA does not belong in a non-sectarian sporting event at a public stadium. How unfair is that to the Budhist players who might not appreciate the blessings of this strange warrior god that our xenophobes patronize. What the fuck does god have to do with it. The GBA belongs in Tea Party.rallies, republican convemtios and at Santorum speeches. ( no, not the “frothy mixture . . .”), the Other Santorum from PA. And hey.@40, the soldiers you refer to fought and died so we Americans would not have to listen to songs based on the religious preferences of our government leaders. Exception, of course, is Louie Louie which embodies a secular party force far more powerful than the religious myths.

  55. I wish I had the blind faith that is required to be an atheist. It seems like a logical science and facts based religion.

    The only thing I can’t get behind is their jihadist view of everyone that doesn’t believe in this brand of faith.

  57. @9 The Cold War is over. There are not many countries left where the failure to ritually salute the state is punished.

    A few years ago, I was watching a soccer match at a bar in Ireland, and the bartender was amazed to hear that we play the national anthem before every game. Only the US feels the need to inject nationalism into a simple game.

  58. I’m an atheist, and I just don’t give a fuck. Don’t like the song? Go wait in line for a $10 beer. (Come to think of it, it’s the overpriced beers that are *really* ruining baseball.)

  59. @45 “Liberals” don’t hate this country, they want to improve it by making it a place with more tolerance. Not having “God Bless America” being played at ballparks doesn’t mean that the terrorists have won or whatever the heck you’re worried about. If you want your God to bless America, then put it in your personal prayers.

  60. I love singing songs, patriotic or otherwise, at sporting events. I will dance to any song they pump on the loudspeakers, a 30 woman wiggling like the 12 year olds on the jumbotron, and imo singing “take me out to the gall game” is the best part of baseball. I wish we sang it more. The national anthem? Totally makes this librul teary with patriotism.
    But like anon, GBA bothers me. No matter how much I love to sing with thousands of other people while kinda drunk, the “gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd bless amerrricuaaaaaaaa” part just irks me. It’s out of place and inappropriate.

  61. Wow, I always wondered if there really were people with sticks lodged so far up their asses that they get all bent out of shape over a simple song. And here they are, all on I, Anonymous. I mean, I can’t stand rap and country, and that stupid Dog Days of Summer song, but my day isn’t ruined by hearing it. Are these the same losers that cry if you say “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays” and get offended if someone bows their head to thank their god for their meal?

    Get over yourself, the world doesn’t revolve around you. The rest of us are forced to deal with your pathetic ass, so shut up and deal with a simple song that makes 99% of the people around you feel good and proud of their country.

  62. there’s nothing “american” about celebrating the views of the rural patriarchal white christian monoculture. america – the YEW ESS AYE i love and respect — is culturally pluralistic, tolerant, and embraces ALL and NO gods simultaneously. “god bless america” on repeat is just good ol’ ignurnt whiteboy cultural imperialism on its usual mandated parade schedule, trying to make sure its particularly virulent flag is the one waved uber alles. i’d love to hear some OTHER anthems representative of our shared cultural composition — especially in seattle — played at these games, but unfortunately for ALL of us and our greater edification (y’know, what builds tolerance), the sportin’ lads will have nothin’ to do with anythin’ what doesn’t continually affirm the correctness of their own “trucks ‘n’ bibles” subculture biases.

  64. @61 Do you not like rap and country because of aesthetics or ideology? How is someone bowing their head in prayer or wishing you a merry xmas at a store at all similar to encouraging people to equate and celebrate patriotism and religion on a large scale at a public sporting event?

    Not sure you understand what we’re talking about here.

  65. Just once, I want to see somebody, on televised game, get introduced for the “God Bless America” break and launch into “Fight The Power” by Public Enemy, “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”(RIP, Gil Scott Heron) “California Uber Alles”(at a Dodgers or Angels home game) or maybe “Volunteers” by the Jefferson Airplane(or even just the “Up Against The Wall, Motherfucker!” chant from that one).

    Wouldn’t you love to hear the play-by-play team explain THAT one?

  67. I don’t mind GBA all that much, though I’d prefer BB w/o GBA. Just don’t expect me to stand & remove my hat – I did that during the anthem.

  68. I’m more bothered by the forced patriotism at ball games and elsewhere. I get irritated when told to rise and remove my cap for the national anthem. I like this country and can only think of a handful of other places I’d rather have been born, but swearing loyalty oaths in the form of a pledge or slavish fealty to a flag or song seems counter to what this country is supposed to be all about.

    I do not remove my cap and have actually been accosted for that. I tell these bootstrappers I am a veteran and it is proper for me to remained covered during the national anthem. It isn’t, unless I am in uniform, but it usually shuts their pieholes.

  69. GBA is an easy song to sing, it’s about the right length and it makes most people feel all warm and fuzzy; you know, apple pie, mom and baseball are All American to the core (even though baseball’s played worldwide).

    I just close my eyes and do my best Kate Smith impersonation. I can sing a song and not believe a bit of it, it’s just a collection of words. It has meaning to some people, but for me, it’s just a chance to clear out my pipes and do some warbling.

    Don’t sing it if you don’t want to, don’t stand if you don’t feel you should; this is America and you are still (somewhat) free.

  70. Try being a foreign national when they do GBA/the national anthem/Pledge of Allegiance/etc. Even if you stand and do nothing, you get looked at like you have two heads.

  72. Does anyone even know what “God bless” means? Are we ordering around God? Is it a request? Are we blessing God for America? From the context you’d think it means thanking God, but how do you get “thank you for America” out of “God bless America”.

    I DON”T GET IT

  73. Sports = religion. Fodder for the masses. The masses are dumb and religious (that’s redundant, I realize) and the ball field is just another church for them.

    Go on a hike, visit the bookstore or see a SIFF film if you don’t want to be surrounded by ignorant mouthbreathing suburbanites with their Walmart flags and beer hats. Or go play baseball instead of watching it with idiots…many of whom are too fat to even play. Your brain will thank you.

  75. The Anthem and the 7th inning stretch (no matter WHAT song is being sung/played) is the best time to pee. Unfortunately that shit is piped through the bathroom speakers at Safeco…

  76. #71

    “By the way, Domini Domini Domini, yer all Catholics now, God Bless you…and Good Luck”…

    (to complete the Firesign Theatre reference).

  77. I love this article, like others I should have written this. I go to a lot of games and am very pissed off and annoyed by MLB and there playing of this song as if we should care about it. First off it was written by a Canadian that was never naturalized. This is the game I love and I do not want this to ruin our game. My wife gives me the bad eye when I don’t remove my cap during this annoying moment. The nice thing is that they only occasionily play this at M’s games. I go to games for several reasons one of them is to get away from all of this fake patriotism. Really do we need to continue to push this whole attack on us. Give it up, no one goes to a baseball game for the patriotism, they go to escape and have fun.

  78. Oh Larry I only wish that you would crawl back into whatever fetid and diseased asshole that you were born from or failing that someone should explain to your whore of a mother how to flush a commode.

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