We met on OkCupid. You were my first online date in years, after mending my heart after a bad breakup. You were the “perfect guy”—six-feet-four (really six-feet-three) and you wined and dined me like no other. I really thought this is too good to be true—and between the weekend getaways, flower deliveries, notes under my door, and constant compliments I had a gut feeling something wasn’t quite right.
You never answered your phone or let me come over to your apartment because it was “dirty,” like I gave a fuck. After three months of dating, I finally came over to your place to find a stark, empty, seemingly staged apartment. You met my family, listened to my secrets, told me you loved me, had sex with me—all the while living a double life. You waited six months to tell me you were in an open relationship and lived with her! I was the only one not open in this relationship. You two lived together in your slimy little studio and had been together for over five years. I would call this emotional rape.
The sickest part is she knew all about me. You even sent her into my salon for a haircut, and we all went to get drinks (no big deal to me, because she was your “best friend”). You two are the most dysfunctional, sick, selfish, fucked-up people I have ever met. Next time you are looking for a third for your open relationship, make sure all parties are consenting.
—Anonymous
If it seems to good to be true, that is because it is
The only thing stupid about the OP is equating this to rape. Sorry, but being lied to and cheated on and having your heart metaphorically ripped from your chest is nothing like being literally raped. Using it as a metaphor cheapens actual rape, which is much, much worse than what you went through.
But I am sorry for what happened to you. I hope you found a way to communicate to him that what he’s doing isn’t cool. Otherwise, he’ll keep on doing it. He might keep on doing it anyway, but if he isn’t told it’s wrong then he’s guaranteed to do so.
I’m only going to be semi-critical. IDK, I don’t think you should assume exclusivity. If you want exclusivity you are supposed to ask. After 2 months why weren’t you asking him where the relationship was going? But no matter what at least it was only 3 months. I hope you can get over this and move on.