MONDAY, OCTOBER 7 This week of feminist triumph, rabbinical thuggery, and one troubled Elmo kicks off with Ken Cuccinelli, the attorney general of the state of Virginia, who’s spent the past year distinguishing himself as the dude who seriously wants to recriminalize sodomy, even between consenting heterosexual adults joined in holy matrimony. As history buffs will recall, in 2003, the US Supreme Court ruled that anti-sodomy laws were unconstitutional, inspiring the Virginia legislature to consider amending the state’s now-untenable anti-sodomy statute. “As a state senator, Cuccinelli opposed the state’s efforts, having said previously that ‘homosexual acts’ are ‘intrinsically wrong’ and that ‘in a natural law based country it’s appropriate to have policies that reflect that,'” reports MSNBC. Once he attained attorney-general status, Cuccinelli resumed his battle against legal sodomy, fighting to reinstate Virginia’s now-unconstitutional law barring “crimes against nature,” including oral sex between consenting adults of any sexual orientation. “The law carried a penalty of between one and five years in prison for sexual acts that the National Center for Health Statistics estimates nine out of ten Americans between the age of 25 and 44 engage in,” reports MSNBC. Which brings us to wonderful, wonderful today, when the Supreme Court rejected Cuccinelli’s plea to allow him to recriminalize sodomy between consenting adults AND state polls continued to show the running-for-governor Cuccinelli trailing his Democratic rival by five points.
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 8 In much better news, the week continues in New York City, where tonight brought the 2013 Women’s Media Awards, celebrating—among numerous others—Seattle’s own Lindy West. Accepting the 2013 Women’s Media Center Social Media Award for her tireless and often hilarious online campaigns for social justice and basic human decency, West spoke about the new landscape of activism: “I hear a lot these days about the lazy, aimless ‘millennials’—about how all we want to do is sit around twerking our iPods and Tweedling our Kardashians—and I also hear people asking, ‘Where is the next generation of the social-justice movement? Where are all the young feminists and womanists and activists?’ Dude, they’re on the internet. They’re working their asses off. And if you can’t hear them, it’s because you’re not listening.” Humongous congratulations to Lindy, for whom battling internet idiocy has become a full-time job that she is exceedingly good at, and it is so wonderful to have all the rape threats—plus freak-outs from Roseanne Barr—balanced by an award handed over by Jane Fonda in front of Gloria Steinem and Lily Tomlin. Also, tonight’s win shoves a sock in the mouths of those critics (many of them women) who blast West for her comical writing style, casual lingo, and occasional use of the place-holding “like” in conversation. Two decades ago, Kathleen Hanna claimed her right to make seriously smart statements in a Valley girl accent, setting a wonderful precedent for Lindy’s use of “hella” and all-caps rants. Everyone else can suck it. Congratulations, Lindy West. Full speed ahead.
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 9 Speaking of notable stuff going down in NYC, the week continues with this impressive sentence from the New York Times: “The man known for dressing up in an Elmo costume and harassing New York City tourists with anti-Semitic outbursts was sentenced in Manhattan Criminal Court on Wednesday to a year in jail after admitting he tried to extort $2 million from the Girl Scouts.” Our subject: Dan Sandler, a 49-year-old man from Ashland, Oregon, with a history of disturbing trouble. In the 1990s, he ran the pornographic website Welcome to the Rape Camp—which claimed to show videos of nonconsensual sex—in Cambodia until authorities deported him in 1999. Back in the United States, he worked briefly as a computer programmer for the Girl Scouts (who should probably have a policy against hiring people run out of Cambodia for rape porn), and then found a new career. “After he left his job with the Girl Scouts in November 2008, he bought an Elmo suit for $300 and joined the other costumed characters in Times Square and Central Park, charging money to have his picture taken with children,” reports the NYT. “But he soon became known as ‘Evil Elmo’ and ‘Bad Elmo’ for his habit of making obscene rants at passers-by. Last year, one of his outbursts in Times Square led to an arrest and guilty plea for disorderly conduct. He then moved to San Francisco, where he was spotted delivering similar tirades in a park before being arrested in May on the New York charges in the extortion case.” About that extortion case: In the midst of his “angry Elmo” phase, Sandler stalked and attempted to extort $2 million from his former employers at the Girl Scouts. Last month, Sandler pleaded guilty to attempted grand larceny and third-degree stalking, and today he was sentenced to a year in jail.
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 10 Continuing the notable-doings-in-NYC theme, the week continues with the two Orthodox rabbis charged with plotting to kidnap and torture a man in order to force him to grant his wife a divorce. At the center of the story is the Jewish law regarding divorce, which requires husbands to give wives a document—called a “get”—that officially releases them from marriage. As ABC News reports, “Under Jewish law, if a husband refuses to grant his wife a ‘get,’ she has the right to sue in rabbinical court.” And if a wife wants her “get” without the hassle of suing, she can apparently enlist the help of Orthodox thugs. “Rabbis Mendel Epstein and Martin Wolmark charged Jewish women and their families thousands of dollars to obtain religious divorces, known as ‘gets,’ from unwilling husbands,” reports ABC. “According to an FBI complaint, Epstein spoke about forcing compliance through ‘tough guys’ who use electric cattle prods and even place plastic bags over the heads of husbands.” The two rabbis and eight alleged honchos remain held in federal custody.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 11 Nothing happened today, unless you count the 23-year prison sentence given to Andrew Patterson, the now-21-year-old man who accidentally and fatally shot Seattle’s Justin Ferrari in front of Ferrari’s children and parents last May.
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 12 In lighter news, the week continues at Springfield, Missouri’s Dickerson Park Zoo, where today a man entered a room containing an elephant and was fatally crushed by an elephant. “[Zookeeper] John Phillip Bradford, 62, was trying to coax [the elephant] Patience through a chute connecting the elephant barn and the yards when she knocked him into the chute and crushed him against the floor,” reports NBC News. Bradford died instantaneously, and the elephant called Patience will not be euthanized.
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 13 Nothing happened today. 
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