I’m hardly a theater critic. Never have been, never will be. But I know hair metal. Just look at my hair in 1989. I worked hard for that hair, every day, with lots and lots and lots of Aqua Net. I can’t even count how many hours I spent listening to Quiet Riot, Twisted Sister, Dokken, Foreigner, and Whitesnake. I still know all the words. I went to The Paramount Theatre, hoping to get all silly, happy, and nostalgic about “those days”. I left at intermission.
Rock Of Ages—I know you’re a “five-time Tony Award® nominated smash-hit musical”—but you shamed me. Disgraced my memories, my pride, and part of my history. All those jazz-hands, mullet wigs, saxophones(?), and the absolute annihilation of my favorite 80’s songs (think: two-hour version of Fergie singing Guns N’ Roses) were NOT ENTERTAINING.
If you must, the musical runs tonight through Sunday.
I’m gonna go listen to “18 and Life” again, and pretend none of it ever happened. You can’t take this one away from me. I won’t let you put your jazz hands all over this one! NO, NO, NO!
Oh, also, there’s THIS. Tom Cruise? TOM SCIENTOLOGY CRUISE singing Bon Jovi? No, no, no!
For what it’s worth, the first half of the show is pretty lame but the second half kind of redeems things. You definitely missed the better part of the show.
Why go to this when you can go to any number of Washington State casinos, Puyallup Fair and White River Amphitheater and see the real things?
Where is my Satanic Black Metal musical?
Skid Row is jus’ plain awful. The dregs man.
@1 – totally agree…and what were you expecting from a Broadway Musical? Hello?
Shoulda stayed – second half was much better than the first!
Ha. I remember spending hours learning this tune on bass guitar in high school. It really is a sweet bassline.
@7:
Yeah, chunk on the e dude!
As someone who followed bands back in the day and was totally immersed in the local music scene, sorry, but I completely disagree with you. I thought it was hilarious and cleverly done. They did a fantastic job of lampooning all the rock’n’roll cliches from that era.The cast has some pretty impressive vocal power, especially from Constantine Maroulis, in the lead role. He blew me away. I highly recommend it.
As a kid more into Sondheim than metal I wondered, if I could shapeshift into a hot rocker chick, which hair or metal dudes would I weasel my way backstage to blow. Besides Sebastian I can recall the beestung lipped Warrant frontman, Warren DeMartini of Ratt, Kirk Hammett in a heartbeat, and the beauty of beauties, Nuno Bettencourt.
@10:
I liked Nuno better when he was in drag.
Oh, Keekee, I had no idea. In looking around the web to see what you might mean I see he’s having a resurgence the last couple years as tour candy for Rihanna, and suffered as the topic of terrible Ke$ha song as well.
Second half was much better than the first. We almost left at the intermission but I am happy we stayed.
Oh come on.. the jazz hands were literally being mocked by the actors as they were doing them.